[Editor's Note: Today we're honored to have a guest-written entry from Robert Marshall, who recently went curling with fellow Chicago reader James Huening. -- PL]

By Robert “RPM” Marshall

James “JTH” Huening and I went to the Chicago Curling Club on November 1st as part of their “learn to curl” program. The place was more or less like a country club. There was a lounge with a bar, and the locker room had fancy-pants stuff for your hair and liquids to gargle. There was also tons of great artwork with a curling theme, like this sculpture above the mantle.

And then there was the American Curling History Museum, curated by this gin-swilling fellow named Jim, who was a right proper bully gent. The museum mostly housed pins, but it had lots of cool artifacts too, like this teapot in the shape of a curling stone. Plus there were lots of great trophies that could make the hockey hall of fame jealous (some are shown on this page), and betwixt the museum and the bar was a really great curling-style schuffleboard game, complete with mini-stones.

After we finished casing the place, it was time to watch a short movie about extreme curling. Sort of a combination of this and this (keeping in mind that everyone outside of the curling cult knows the little message at the end of this clip). From there we stretched and headed out to the ice for some tutorials and strategy talks. That’s me on the right, with a few hair-control devices in place to keep my mop manageable. There was one guy on my team who not only didn’t appreciate my barrettes (go figure) but he also really sucked up to the teacher and requested fancy brooms while I, and I believe James too, opted for wood. Did I mention the ice featured a really cool clock?

Once the instructions were out of the way, it was time to throw a couple of “ends.” An end is when both teams throws eight stones (two by each player from the “hack” over the “hog line” aiming for the “button” at the center of the “house”). James was essentially his team’s captain (”lead” or “skip”), as illustrated here by the lady under the Canadian flag holding out her arm, which tells the curler which spin or curl to put on the stone, and where to aim. I was a lowly sweeper, which was quite the cardio workout, and I swear it’s true.

Now I don’t mean to brag (read: I totally mean to brag), but I happened to throw a stone that landed square on the button with nary a sweep. Notice how the ladies chasing it down are not sweeping. Of course, it was later knocked out by one of my teammates, but that’s okay (read: that’s not at all okay).

After our two “ends,” we retired to the lounge for our free Labbatts, which we followed with another free Labbatts provided by a Russian couple on James’s team not using their drink tickets, which we chased with a Labbatts bought for us by the club president who was recruiting both of us, but especially James, to join the cult. I have to say, as much fun as it was, it was very cult-esque, kind of like that table hockey league I played in. So cult = mostly good.

Let us now turn our attention to the Uni Watch portion of our program. Now, if you’ve follwed James’s posts in the comments section, I’m sure you have noticed that he’s a real swell fellow, but he must have woken up with a bee in his bonnet that day, and ready to start a fight — check this out. Can you believe it!? To the untrained eye it’s a nice kit, but let’s take a closer look at that hat. It’s a wool tweed herringbone worn by the IRISH, for the cornmother’s sake. And we were curling, a Scottish/Canadian sport. What gaul (sic)!!! He should have gone tam and kilt. I mean really, was he trying to get us kicked out of the joint with his tomfoolery? It was sooooo embarrassing.

Fortunately, one of us had it together and dressed with the dignity the sport requires. The sweater, I am embarrassed to say, I stitched for like eight hours (or until 5am) the night before. In addition to the tiger on the front, it had this on the back (translation: “Free Fighting / Wrestling Curling Club”) in glittered black felt.

So James, by virtue of being associated with me, was off the hook with the cult members who were shooting cartoon darts out of their eyes at his total fashion blunder Irish messabout. I swear, you can’t take him anywhere.

The best four minutes you’ll spend today: Paul here. The full Dock Ellis video clip, produced by No Mas, is now available. Do yourself a favor and watch it right now:

How great is that? (Answer: Very, very great.)

In case you hadn’t noticed: Page 2 got a big redesign this week, and the revised format includes a new Page 2 Blog, to which I posted a small contribution yesterday afternoon (it’s not perma-linked, so I can’t link directly to it, but it’s the one headlined “Spying on Roy Williams”). We’re all being encouraged to contributie to this new P2 blog, so I’ll probably have my fair share of stuff there. How will that affect this site? Here are some divisions of content I’ve been considering:

In actuality, the P2 blog shouldn’t have any affect on us here, except that I might occasionally take an item that would have ended up in the Ticker, expand on it a bit, and run it on P2. I’ll try to notify you when that happens, probably via this thingie.

Oh, and speaking of tech thingies, Johnny Ek whispered four magic words in my ear yesterday: “Uni Watch iPhone app.” Not a reality yet, but he’s working on it.

Coming soon: Uni Watch cattle-ranching uniforms: Thanks for all the positive feedback on yesterday’s beefsteak entry. Many of you inquired about beefsteak lore, beefsteak protocol, how you can throw your own beefsteak, etc. If you want to educate yourself on the topic, I strongly recommend two articles: The first and (by far the most important) is Joseph Mitchell’s seminal 1938 New Yorker piece, “All You Can Hold for Five Bucks,” which you can download as a PDF here. And at the risk of mooing my own horn, I think you’ll find my New York Times article+video about the North Jersey beefsteak scene instructive as well.

Several of you also inquired about meat-centric cookbooks. Personally, I lean heavily on The Complete Meat Cookbook, The River Cottage Meat Book, Charcuterie, The Whole Beast, Serious Barbecue, and probably a few others that are escaping me at the moment (I could check my kitchen bookshelf, but that would entail walking 15 entire feet, so forget it). That should be enough to get you started, yes? Yes.

FYI: The site will be down from about 2am-4am eastern Sunday, while our web host performs some basic server maintenance.

Uni Watch News Ticker: The Avs have finally unveiled their alternate jersey, which looks just like I said it would (i.e., really bad) more than two months ago. … Awesome set of new pin-up illos from Rob Ullman. I’d say this one ranks among his best ever, plus let’s give special props to Dawn Santin, who’s actually a Yankees fan but commissioned this portrait of herself as a wedding present for her Phils-obsessed husband. … “I was watching some of the new Battlestar Galactica series, which has a subplot about a sports team that ends up turning into a group of resistance fighters,” says Ed Hahn. “The team is the Caprica Buccaneers, and they have a logo. Also, one of the warm-ups from the series was up for sale on eBay Canada.” … Marty Turco discusses his new mask in this video clip (with thanks to William Banowsky). … Okay, so you knew Ron Guidry was nicknamed “Gator,” but did you know he had a little Izod alligator on his spikes? (Nice find by Thomas Huppé.) … How great would it be to play for a team called the Sheetrocks? (Great find, Kirsten.) … New World Cup kit for Russia. … Dylan Houser has designed a shoe collection for Puma, inspired by the 700 level at Veterans Stadium. Further details in this video clip. … Oh man, how cool is this! And no green dot on the back, I’m guessing (big thanks to Zak Kalina). … You know how college football teams sometimes have multiple players wearing the same uni number? That’s a real drag for at least one beat writer (with thanks to Nicholas Roznovsky). … “Happened to catch that Jane Lynch’s character on Glee sometimes wears an Adidas track suit with the logo on the back covered by patches,” notes Dan Cichalski. I mentioned that to Kirsten, who said Lynch’s track suit branding was recently discussed in this All Things Considered interview. “She [Lynch] said they’re slowing switching to Nike,” says Kirsten, “because Fox is big on Nike, or something to that effect. It comes up at the 2:00 mark in the interview.” Faaaaascinating. … Hahahaha, everyone laughed at Jay Cutler last night because he threw a shitload of interceptions wore a cap with the outdated NFL logo (good catch by Chuck Pearson). … Mother lode of contributions from Jeremy Brahm, including new logos for the 2011 Men’s Team Handball World Championships (pretty awesome, right?), the BJ League [basketball] All-Star Game, and the JBL All-Star Game, plus a basketball facemask that looks more like a bad Halloween costume. … And wait, more from Jeremy! “The Saitama Broncos of the BJ League have pickles on their uniform. Actually it is a Japanese eggplant — this is their sponsor. They also have a player whose NOB is a singular T.” … Scandalous news out of the Bronx, where it turns out that Yogi Berra’s retired 8 is upside-down, as you can cearly see by comparing it to Bill Dickey’s 8. Quick, fire the entire staff! … Remember that article from yesterday about eliminating football helmets altogether? Turns out that we could do that and still maintain the game’s visual integrity (with thanks to Russell Goutierez). … Lebron James says he’s going to change his uni number. … Even by the usual standards of corporate douchebaggery, this story really takes the biscuit. Please, Mr. Really Big Asteroid, just plow right into the planet already — we’re ready. Fuck, we’re overdue.

One last reminder: Assuming Mr. Really Big Asteroid takes a few days to process requests (I hear he’s a busy fella), I’ll look forward to seeing lots of you at the Uni Watch party on Sunday, 2:30pm, at Sheep Station. But once the party’s over, Mr. Asteroid, fire away.

Did you know there’s a clinical condition characterized by a fear of vegetables? It’s true! It’s called lachanophobia, which would make a great name for my blog if I hadn’t already chosen “Uni Watch.”

All of which makes a good introduction to today’s very protein-centric content, which stretches across several platforms. Think of it as a three course meal: The appetizer is a piece written by reader Aaron Rich, about a ballpark food ritual called “eating for the cyle.” And the dessert is a new ESPN column about team-themed tailgating.

As for the main course, it’s time to check out the photos from last Sunday’s Brooklyn Beefsteak, which was pretty damn epic. Look at all those lachanophobiacs! Sorry, I’m like a kid with a new toy now that I’ve discovered that word. I’ll try not to overdo it.

Anyway: The organizers bought half a steer, so there were many different cuts being served: mini-burgers, ribeye, short ribs, hanger steak, you name it. The meat was cooked on the sidewalk right in front of the venue and then sliced, plattered, and served, all in a rather frantic fashion.

I gave a short presentation on beefsteak history also had a small onstage role with the mighty Susquehanna Industrial Tool & Die Company, holding up a few signs to cue the audience during their stirring rendition of “The Song of the Beefsteak” (written especially for the occasion, don’tcha know).

I wasn’t the only one wearing a Meats tee, by the way — Uni Watch reader Terence Kearns had one too (and lived up to it). But my favorite outfit was the one worn by this guy. What uniform is that? America West baggage handler, as it turns out.

Women were barred from beefsteak participation back in the day. But the fairer sex was well represented at the Brooklyn event, thanks to attendees like Kirsten, Baroness Karen McBurnie, Aaron Rich’s pal Shawna, and, especially, this chick. Never did get her name, but she definitely took the award for best apron.

I could go on, but you get the idea. If you want to see more, check out my photos or, better yet, this guy’s photos, which are the best ones I’ve seen so far.

(Big thanks to Kirsten for several of the pics, plus the salad monster illo, plus-plus the lachanophobia story, and apologies to Scott Turner and all other vegetarians.)

In non-meat news: Tim Brulia’s “White at Home in the NFL” page has been updated to reflect the first half of this season.

Because, y’know, why not?: In our continuing quest to take up as much useless internet bandwidth as possible, this site now has its own Facebook page, which you can sign up as a “fan” (or, more likely, be blocked from access because you’re at work). Meanwhile, you can also sign up for the Uni Watch Twitter feed, whoop-whoop! Watch for more exciting — okay, pointless — things to sign up for soon!

’Tis the Season: Got any cool sports-related gift ideas? Know of any companies producing interesting uni-ish products? If so, speak up, because I’m about to start working on my annual holiday gift guide column for ESPN and am very open to suggestions.

Oh, and if anyone remembers the details on that company with the expensive hand-made footballs that I linked to a week or two ago, please fill me in, because I can’t remember the name of the company and can’t find the link. Thanks.

Uni Watch News Ticker: The Green Bay Gamblers (USHL) are conducting a create-a-jersey contest for kids. No word on whether this is devaluing the market rate for child designers. Details in this PDF download (with thanks to Philip Caldwell). … Hey, look what’s being auctioned off! … But that’s nothing compared to this. … Mea culpa for not having mentioned the Habs’ recent 1910-11 throwbacks, which looked my-t-fine on Tuesday night. … Here’s a modest proposal: Let’s get rid of football helmets altogether (with thanks to Jim Vilk). … Went thrifting over the weekend and picked up this varsity jacket. Love the two-tone pocket, the leather UCLA stripes, and the rear lettering. … While I was grabbing that jacket, Kirsten got this awesome ice skating scarf. Great illos, as you can see more clearly in this larger photo. … Fucking amazing electric football video here (with thanks to Chris Markham). … Again with the No. 55 riflery jersey. I’m now getting seriously spooked by this. … Buffalo WR Brett Hamlin has “BAWB” on his neck bumper. “According to a post on his Facebook page, it stands for ‘bad ass white boy,’” reports Dennis Abrams. … Check out this gumball helmet set. Never seen that goalpost display system before (with thanks to Brinke Guthrie). … Cool painting showing Reds uniforms through the years — download it here, and read more about it here (with thanks to Steven Wyder and Ryan Connelly). … There’s still time for you to vote in Phil’s “Worst Uni Ever” poll, which was the top link yesterday on SI.com’s “Hot Clicks” …See, this is why I live in NYC. Where else could you see Orly Taitz picketing Fox News? Try finding entertainment like that in Peoria, you rubes!

I wrote pretty regularly for Fast Company magazine from 2004 through 2007. But I guess they must not have me in their Rolodex anymore, because nobody told me about this article, which they just posted on their web site (not sure if it’s also in the printed mag, but I don’t think so).

Anyway: The author — an NFL fan named Ken Carbone, who also happens to be a graphic designer — posits that too many of today’s helmet designs are bland and formulaic. He heaps particular scorn on the Redskins, Bucs, and Pats:

Among the weakest designs are the Washington Redskins and Tampa Bay Buccaneers , whose visually complicated logos become a graphic mess when televised and, I imagine, even if you’re sitting on the fifty-yard line. At the very the bottom of the list are the New England Patriots. The Patriots’ helmet is plastered with their logo, which comes dangerously close to looking like a wind-swept John Kerry dressed up like a Minute Man. If there was ever a time to go with the obvious this is it. Why not really play the patriotic card and star and stripe the helmet?

These certainly aren’t the three NFL helmets at the top of my “Please revise now!” list (I’d probably pick some subset of the Bengals, Panthers, Titans, Lions, and Bills). I’d also quibble with the notion that the Washington and Tampa Bay logos are “complicated” or “a graphic mess when televised,” and I’d love to know what Carbone thought of Pat Patriot compared to Flying Elvis.

But whatever — unlike most critics, Carbone is willing to propose his own alternatives, and that’s where things get interesting. He prepared these sketches and gave them to a graphics guy who created more polished digital versions — voila!

The Pats design is laughably bad (unless the rest of your uniform looks like this), and the Bucs execution is obviously way too Raiders-ish (bad rookie mistake there, Ken — don’t create a design that looks a lot like another team’s design). Gotta admit, though I’m totally digging the Redskins treatment. Never would’ve guessed that the headdress motif would translate so well to a helmet shell.

All in all, a silly article that’s mostly a lark, but that ’Skins design is like the nibble on the end of the line that’s gonna keep me fishing all day. Are there other teams that could be revamped as effectively as Carbone’s done with the ’Skins? Hmmmmm….

The best video you’ll see this year (or at least today): No Mas has produced a super-cool animation about Dock Ellis and his fabled no-hitter on acid, narrated by Ellis himself. The full vid will be available tomorrow, but here’s a short excerpt:

Uni Watch News Ticker: Ladies and gentlemen, you Nike riflery uniforms, all in one place. … Remember the football sweater knitting guide I scanned and posted last week? Ricko found a baseball version on eBay (yes, those “jackets” are actually knitted sweaters) and sent it to me to scan. You can access the full publication here. … Whoa, who would’ve thought the Broncos had a throwback helmet cart (big thanks to Jason Krause). … “I was briefly following this VW bug through Columbus this morning and couldn’t help but laugh,” writes Jason Lawrence. “As you probably know, OSU applies buckeye leaf decal to the left side of the helmet first, then eventually to the right side only after the left side is full. The funniest part about this guy’s error is that if he’d applied the stickers correctly to the left side, he wouldn’t have had to bother custom-cutting a sticker around his gas-cap door.” … Lots of Fort Hood memorial decals on tap for this weekend (big thanks to decal maven Chris Willis). … Further evidence of Troy Polamalu’s cross habit. That shot was taken by Steve Harrison two weeks ago. … Reprinted from yesterday’s comments: Separated at birth? (As spotted by eagle-eyed Jim Vilk.) … Way back in late September I asked about these Arkansas merit decals. Not sure if we ever got a good answer, but here’s one from Sean Patton: “They are not crosses — they are supposed to be sledgehammers. Back in the summer, the strength coaches started a reward for players during two-a-days. They would pick the players, four or five a day, who showed the greatest effort during practice, and those players would be given a sledgehammer (a real one, not a decal) and would get to hit a huge flat boulder that was set up at the outdoor practice fields. Each player would try to take a chunk of the rock off with their allotted number of swings. So the decals are sledgehammers.” In other words, your reward for working hard at practice is being put on a prison-style chain gang. … Tyler Kepner notes that Padres GM Jed Hoyer needs to update some logos on his wall. … The Hornets are going to unveil a Mardi Gras-themed uniform a week from today. I’ve seen the design, and it’s the bomb. … Arkansas has signed an outfitting deal with Nike. … Remember Craig Anders(s)on and the extra “S” that appeared and then disappeared from his NOB? Turns out it’s still on his stick (great catch by Michael Putlack). … Chris Cocuzza had an authentic Randy Moss Raiders jersey and wanted to convert it to a Louis Murphy jersey (same uni number). So he got himself a $15 lettering kit, had his sewing-skilled grandma remove the “Moss” nameplate from the jersey and then had her remove the letters from the nameplate. Then he sewed the new letters onto the ’plate and sewed the ’plate back onto the jersey — presto! … Here’s a craigslist listing you don’t see every day: football pumpkins (amazing find by Steven Brown). … The Florida Panthers will finally unveil their alternate jersey on November 23rd. If you believe the folks on the Chris Creamer site, it will look something like this. … More World Cup kits, for Greece, Germany, Mexico, and South Africa (with thanks to Stephen Wong).

Two weekends ago I was in Cooperstown, where Hall of Fame curator Tom Shieber was kind enough to give a private behind-the-scenes tour to me, Kirsten, and my old college pals Jeff Katz and Ben McTernan. Naturally, I dressed for the occasion (thanks, RPM).

Most of our time was spent in the Hall’s archives, basically a huge storage area where they keep everything that isn’t currently on display. Since they display only about 15% of their collection at a time, the archives are essentially a huge trove of goodies that most visitors never get to see. Also, because the Hall holds onto everything once it’s accessioned, the archives also feature loads of items that will never be displayed because they’re sort of silly or of dubious historical value. Naturally, these items were my favorites.

Among the highlights:

• Here’s Tom holding Joe Rudi’s suitcase. For some reason I was particularly fond of this item, maybe because it’s green and gold.

• I was very pleased to see that Tom maintains a binder of patches, organized by team and by subject.

• What are these? They’re old season passes that many ballparks used to issue, and holy shit are they beautiful.

• Were were these two items worn by the same player? Nope. Tom was nice enough to let me hold the Babe’s jersey, which had this nice chain-stitched i.d. label.

• As for Gehrig’s cap, there’s something really nice about that smaller “NY” logo, no? Wish they’d go back to that.

• What are those notches around the Louisville Slugger logo? Each one represents a home run that Babe Ruth hit that year (sorry, I forget which season it was). Incredibly, the notches were added by a collector, not by Ruth. Correction, the notches were added by Ruth with each tater he hit. The collector added that label, though. Maybe that’s why Tom allowed me to pose with the lumber. (That’s Tom in the background, looking slightly concerned that I might swing and cause a big crash or something.)

• Why does the Hall of Fame have a shovel? Because it’s from the Dodger Stadium groundbreaking.

• The Hall has a huge collection of baseball-related artwork, most of it endearingly cheesy. For some reason I really liked this painting, although I no longer remember why. Maybe beause of the belt buckle!

• These Brooklyn bricks got me a little misty-eyed.

• We spent some time in the photo library (but not too long, cuz it’s refrigerated in there), where Tom showed us some gorgeous old pics.

• Tom was also proud to show us a few recent displays out in the public areas of the museum, including an exhibit devoted to baseball in the Olympics. I was especially fond of this jersey. Is that a beauty or what?

There was a lot more, but we were too busy having fun to take photos. Speaking of which, special thanks to Kirsten, who took most of the above-linked pics. You can see her full set from our visit here.

Raffle Results: The three winners of the poster raffle are, in order, Evan Shanley, Art Savokinas, and Brian Jones, all of whom should send me their shipping addresses pronto.

For those of you who didn’t win (or didn’t enter the raffle), Infojocks designer Jeremy Yingling has an offer to help cushion the disappointment: If you follow and mention @infojocks on Twitter, he’ll forward you a coupon good for 20% off any poster order.

Sponsor Shout-Out: As you may have noticed, T-shirt operative Miss Wit (aka Brooklyn’s own Deb Goldstein) is selling a fairly brilliant T-shirt. Just sayin’.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Here’s Virginia Tech’s riflery uniform, as photographed by Shawn Brown, who attended the unveiling. … Lots of cool sports-related artwork from an illustrator named Paul Rogers. Much of his work is clearly a homage to former Wrigley/Cubs art director Otis Shepard (with thanks to Ryan Connelly). … What’s the deal with the weird gray panels on RPI’s hockey socks? Almost looks Photoshopped, but Mike Adams says he got the pics from the team’s official web site. … Here’s how not to wear a Dallas Stars jersey (as spotted by Craig Ward). … New World Cup soccer kit for Japan (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … Cool contribution from Chad Wilson, who writes: “Over the weekend, my hometown high school, the Glen Oaks Panthers in Baton Rouge, clinched their first district/region championship since 1995 and they posted this picture in the local paper. Check out the striped socks — and cleats! — on No. 1.” … Here’s what the Stephen Colbert speedskating sponsorship patch looks like (with thanks to Matt Englander). … Okay, it’s official, civilization as we know it is totally fucked (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … And in case that last link didn’t convince you, here’s just what the world needs: a soccer player with his Twitter feed printed on his cleats (as forwarded by Jordan Guthmann). … Is it possible that an NFL official really had pom-poms on the brim of his cap? Ron Amadeo took that screen shot (also this one), and I kinda suspected him of sending me a Photoshopped hoax, but then he showed me this wire service shot. Anyone..? … Not sure if anyone posted this in the weekend comments, but here’s what Texas A&M’s Fort Hood memorial decal looked like. … Steve Cook attended Sunday’s Eagles/Cowboys game and spotted this dude in the crowd. Love the “NFL” on the collar — like, just in case you didn’t know which league those logos belonged to. … Blackhawks will be wearing camo warm-ups tomorrow night. I’m sure Native Americans in Illinois and elsewhere will appreciate the juxtaposition of an Indian head the U.S. military. Why not just rename the team Manifest Destiny for a night and get it over with? … UNC broke out the throwbacks last night — nice! More photos here. … Tons of great old hockey imagery on this Canadian archive site, including cool photos, even cooler trading cards, and more. Worth exploring (big thanks to Alan Kreit). … “Must be the shoes,” says Brinke Guthrie. … Speaking of Monday Night Football, Wyatt Silverman notes that Troy Polamalu had a little cross embroidered above his nameplate. Has it been there for years and nobody ever noticed because of his hair? If anyone knows more, please speak up. … Aussie rules football news from Drew Douglas, who reports that Adelaide Crows have a new logo and road kit and the Brisbane Lions have a new logo. … Here’s a breakdown of all the EPL kits from last weekend (with thanks to Michael Orr).

Back around 2002, I wrote a column about collectibles for a magazine too embarrassing to mention. The column was eventually discontinued because the editor felt I wasn’t coming up with enough “found in the attic” stories — i.e., stories about amazingly valuable collectibles that had been gathering dust in someone’s attic until they were discovered and then sold for many thousands of dollars. I tried to explain to the editor that stories like those don’t grow on trees, but somehow he was unmoved, and that was the end of the column.

Too bad I didn’t know about this game-worn Jim Brown Syracuse helmet back then. Here’s the deal: The helmet was originally given to the father of a young Syracuse family by a close friend of former Syracuse coach Ben Schwartzwalder shortly after the 1956 season. It was a gift to an expectant father, who put it away for what he was sure would be his new son. When his wife gave birth to a girl instead, the helmet stayed tucked away in the family attic, where it remained until the daughter, now grown and caring for her elderly father, discovered it more than four decades later.

The helmet was eventually acquired in 2001 by Curtis Worrell and Jim Parker of Helmet Hut. It was the crown jewel in their helmet collection, but with Parker’s recent death, Worrell has decided to sell the helmet and give the proceeds to Parker’s widow. It’s currently up for auction at Game Used Universe (which, as you may have noticed, is a new Uni Watch sponsor, although that’s not why I’m writing this piece — the helmet is a great story, and the Helmet Hut folks are great people).

The auction runs through this Thursday, just in case you have an extra 30 grand burning a hole in your pocket. And even if you don’t end up bidding, you can check out these great Jim Brown pics here.

New ESPN column today — my annual college hoops season preview, and it’s a doozy, with coverage of over 50 teams. Major thanks to all of you who provided info. Here’s the link.

Raffle Reminder: Today’s the last day for the poster raffle. Details here.

What’s it worth to ya?: Remember last Wednesday’s discussion of the value of design? Scott Misner, whose comment a few days earlier prompted that discussion (but who did not participate in the Wednesday dialogue — he was busy with work-related stuff) has checked in with a lengthy essay in which he expands on his original comment and responds to some of the points made in Wednesday’s comments. Check it out here.

Mooooo!: Yesterday’s Brooklyn Beefsteak was a smashing, gut-busting success. Thanks to all the Uni Watch readers who said hello! I’ll post my photos tomorrow, so send me yours if you want them to be included.

Your productive day is now over: Dave Holz sent me a link to some absolutely stunning 1930s color photography from the Library of Congress. It’s not uni-related, but it’s flat-out the most compelling imagery I’ve seen in ages. Be warned — once you click on this link, you won’t get anything else accomplished all day. Enjoy.

Uni Watch News Ticker: In case you were under a rock for the past 72 hours, we now know what a bunch of the Nike rivalry revelry riflery designs look like, including the full Ohio State uni, the Virginia Tech jersey, the TCU uni, most of the gloves, and probably a lot more stuff that I’ve missed. Oh, and each riflery school gets its own stupid-ass comic book slogan, and Nike helped prime the pump for today’s Virginia Tech uni unveiling by parking this unassuming little buggy on campus. Nicely done. … Now that’s a uniform, as worn by Jon Solomonson, circa 1973. The other kids’ helmets had only one stripe, but they had to find a smaller lid to fit Jon’s noggin, and it had three stripes. He says he later removed the extraneous striping so he could match his teammates. … Now that the Yanks have won their 27th title, Joe Girardi plans to change his uni number. … Best Twitter feed ever (thanks, Kirsten). … 11/11 isn’t just Veterans Day — it’s also “the date that most closely resembles corduroy,” at least according to these folks, who’ll be holding their annual Grand Meeting on Wednesday right down the avenue from my house. … Nice story about a Sidney Crosby jersey here (with thanks to Nate Budziszewski) …. Jay Danbom lives in Dickinson, North Dakota, where those college softball players recently drowned. He responded to the tragedy by designing a memorial ribbon (”Ashely Neufeld’s initials are in red because she was from Canada,” he explains), which was worn by his rec hockey team. … Bit of a poppy controversy in Old Blighty (with thanks to Mark Coale). … Okay, so this is pretty damn cool. Details here (with thanks to Braden Lerwill). … Check out the major helmet-stripe damage on Alphonso Carreker’s helmet, circa 1988. … Many college football refs wore blue sleeves on Saturday, for prostate cancer awareness. … There’s gotta be an easier way to represent your team on your goalie pads than this (with thanks to Laura Pond). … Bruce Menard was looking through an auction site and turned up a really nice 1911 Cubs jersey and an even nicer 1920s Cubs jacket. … This is a gown made of Arizona Cardinals jerseys. Lots of additional details here (with thanks to Chad Todd). … Interesting discussion on the Chris Creamer board: Someone pointed out that the far-right Lightning player in this photo isn’t wearing the the NHL collar logo. That prompted someone else to post that Robyn Regehr has never had the NHL logo on his collar since the league went to the Edge template. … The Japanese women’s volleyball team will be wearing new uniforms — including a very odd upside-down pouch design — at the Grand Champions Cup next week (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … Super-cool collection of bicycle chain guards here (great find, Kirsten). … More excellent info on the nature of flannel fabrics here (with thanks to Dave Grob). … Double sock stripes! Additional creamsicle pics here. … New soccer kit for Argentina (with thanks to Tomas Abrate). … Torn helmet decal yesterday for DeAngelo Williams (screen shot courtesy of Corey Davis). … “Jesuit High School of Portland, Oregon, has a successful cross country team that has the athletes put a cross on their face,” reports Jeremy Brahm. … Sorry there’s so little NFL info in today’s entry. I was off the grid all day yesterday due to the beefsteak. Priorities, priorities…..

By Phil Hecken & James Huening

Back with my wingman, and UW pollster, James Huening again today, to bring you our nine finalists in the “Worst. Uni. Ever.” poll. You selected the nominees, and you voted (oh, boy did you vote), and now we’ve narrowed it down to the nine worst. One last round of voting will decide the winner of perhaps the most inauspicious title in all uniformity: Worst Ever.

Not much else for me to say, so I’ll turn it over to James who’ll take you through the final piece of the process. Here’s James:

Last weekend, we presented our candidates for worst uniform in the history of ever (or at least in the history of North American team sports). We asked you to vote in a survey to determine the finalists. More than 2,600 responses were received, which means this was our most successful survey to date.

The field has been narrowed down. We’ve got our nine finalists. Now it’s up to you to decide what is the worst (North American) uniform ever.

So without further ado, let’s meet the finalists.

In the Major League Baseball category: the 1978 San Diego Padres.

From the National Basketball Association, the expansion Toronto Raptors.

Representing the National Football League, we have the Seattle Seahawks‘ lime/electric/snot/neon green alternate.

The National Hockey League gave us our only truly close race. Only a handful of votes separated our top vote-getter from the second place finisher. And that top vote-getter is the “Flying V” of the Vancouver Canucks.

The next category is for Short-lived Uniforms. These are the ones that lasted a handful of games at most. It seems fitting that the 1976 Chicago White Sox get that “honor.”

Next, the Minor Leagues. This one wasn’t even close. The Tucson Toros absolutely ran away with this vote. Is it any wonder?

The University of Oregon Ducks and their mix & match “diamondplate“ look are representing the NCAA in our poll.

Our soccer representative is another runaway winner. The Caribous of Colorado got nearly triple the votes that the other two contestants did.

Last up, we have the Orlando Thunder of the WLAF representing the Miscellaneous Pro Football category.

Full results are here, here and here.

Now that you’ve met the contestants, please tell us which is the worst of the worst. There are more pictures in the poll. You can click on them to see the full-size versions.

The poll can be found here. Time to vote!

Awesome work, James. Big round of applause to Mr. Huening for undertaking the monumental task of tallying more than 2,600 votes. But our work here is not quite done. We still need to pick a “winner.” So follow the link provided above and cast your final vote for the “Worst. Uni. Ever.” The future of the world is depending on you We’ll have the results next week. And may the worst uniform win.

OK, I’ve been receiving a LOT of NFL uniform tweaks from you guys (thanks!)…so many that if I don’t start running a few with each post, well…there will be a couple of weekends of JUST uniform tweaks (and we really don’t want that, do we?). I kid, I kid. But many of these are really good, and so, today I will begin to mete out the first buhch I received.

Our first set of tweaks comes from John Mattson, who writes:

Here’s my shot at
Bengals (also here and here), Vikings, Falcons, and Cardinals.

It am not a graphic designer and it is done on the simple Paint application on all windows PCs.

Thanks for all your great work. Let me know your thoughts.

Next up is Andrew Greenwood (”Greenie”), who sent me the following just as we were beginning our polling:

Phil,

In anticipation of the news that the Buffalo Bills were the lowest scoring team in UniWatch’s first ever jersey poll ranking, I’ve come up with this new design. Simply put, the Bills need yellow. There is no yellow in the AFC East, and there are already enough teams that wear red and blue. Since the Rams dumped this color pairing when they switched to the metallic gold, it’s a team identity up for grabs. Also, this color scheme compliments the only other Big 4 team that Buffalo has, the Sabres. Simple helmet logo (someone on UniWatch had the idea to get rid of the red line on the logo, and I believe you did your quick and dirty best to show it), classic NFL helmet striping blue-fat white-blue, two fat shoulder stripes for contrast, and a UNIFORM stripe pattern on all three pants. Two more fat stripes on the sack finishes the look. Can’t wait for the poll results.

(I actually voted the Jags and Cards lowest, but I think the Bills will edge them out. Go Pack!)

Next up is Shaun Tunick, who sent me a few different concepts, in a couple of different e-mails (so this may sound somewhat ‘cut and pastish’). We’ll look his tweaks for the Broncos, Patriots, Falcons and Giants now:

Tweaks for the Broncos and Pats, for the Broncos i took out the weird side to chest stripe/panel, and changed the color scheme back to the royal blue and orange, and then switched the jersey back to orange… i mean they have never had a blue jersey before, so why should they? i also replaced the horn stripe thing on the pants with the striping from the 1977 orange crush uniforms. also, i got rid of the weird helmet stripe. for the patriots, all i really wanted to do was get rid of the really frickin annoying blue side panel on the away jersey, and i ended up taking it off and also the piping from the home jersey. edited the pants stripes a little.

[PH here - Shaun did two Falcons mockups -- an original and a revised edition, which he describes below -- his first version is here]

i wanted to change the pants piping, i hate how it flares out at the bottom but i just didnt want it to look like complete garbage. i really like the striping that you guys did on the bengals, cant remember what it is called… but i meant to get rid of the piping on the pants. something like what they wore 97-02 would look great too. and on the jerseys the one thing i was thinking about was getting rid of the black, i dont really mind the piping there.

And about the helmets, i just wanted to see what a red mockup of the current helmet would look like, and i just threw the mid 80s helmet in there for kicks because that is IMO the best set theyve had… the one with the logo resting on the shoulder stripes, something that would never work today.. On the pants, it is silver, something that they started in 78 and then decided to ditch with the new uniforms.

Hey sorry forgot to throw in the giants, i edited the away jersey just a bit… anyway thanks a bunch for checking this out!

Moving on, we have a submission from Ed Westfield, Jr. (”Eddie Atari”), who wanted to fix the Giants. Here’s Ed:

I liked Phil & Ricks’ NFL uni tweaks, and I have another one for the
Giants. I’ve said before that there is not enough blue in the road
kit, so how about… BLUE PANTS?!

Here’s my Photoshop mockup.

I’m usually a Giants purist, but I actually like this, especially with
the red/grey/blue stripe in tact. Note: It should ONLY be worn with
white jerseys…

Last up for today is a first batch from Uni Watch’s #1 Broncos fan, a man who simply goes by Denver Gregg. He first sent me a batch, of (surprisingly) Denver Broncos mockups. We’ll look at those today. Here’s Gregg:

Hiya Phil

You do a great job with the weekend site!

I’ve been a Broncos fan as long as I can remember, and there has always been something that’s bothered me about the unis. I remember doing a copper and silver redesign in 1973 (long since mercifully lost). Anyway I decided to do a 2010 re-design, incorporating elements of current and past unis. I’ve kept the elements I like in the current set – especially the number and letter typefaces, the colors and matching the helmet color to the principal jersey color. I know my MS paint skills aren’t that great, so there are a few things that look a bit off (like the hue of the orange). There’s something in this set from each of the five generations of Bronco uniforms.

I did four variations on the socks. Denver2010 is probably a bit too out there. Denver2010a may look too similar to another team’s 75th anniversary throwback attire. I don’t really like Denver2010c, but it’s needed to balance out Denver2010b.

I also took the liberty of changing the helmet logo. The first one I remember is the horse coming through the ‘D’. I thought that was too busy and had the drawback of a horse facing the wrong way on one side of the helmet. When I saw the “amoeba horse” of the 1960s in old pictures, I was horrified – regardless of its eye color. I don’t like all the swooshes on the cyberhorse. So I took the best past element and isolated it. It probably needs work, but the idea could be worth pursuing.

I fully understand if (1) you have other stuff on deck; and (2) this isn’t up to snuff from a craftsmanship standpoint. If you have time to give me feedback, though, that would be great.

That’s gonna do it for today on the NFL tweaks. I’ve got LOTS more in store for you in the coming weeks, so if you sent me something and it’s not in this batch — don’t despair — it’s coming. For anyone else interested in sending in mockups, gimme a shout.

Our man in the street, Jim Vilk (taken at the Kent State/Akron game) brings you his “Top 5″ Best and one WORST college football uni matchup from yesterday:

5. Oklahoma/Nebraska: I miss seeing this every Thanksgiving weekend.

4. Furman/Auburn: Tigers are back, and bringing some snazzy Paladins with them.

3. LSU/Alabama: Best conference with another of the best uni-matchups.

2. Washington/UCLA: Even without the Bruins throwing back, this is a Top-Fiver.

1. Duke/UNC: It’s awesome, baby!

And the worst matchup: Navy/Notre Dame: It’s like going to a dance with your twin – it just ain’t right.

And as a special bonus pick, Jim awards “UW Honorable Mention to” Tulsa/Houston: Now Leon’s not the only one seeing red when it comes to Tulsa unis

Guess The Game From The Scoreboard: OK — back to football today. Not sure if you guys like these, but this one may be interesting. You should be able to determine the location and the teams with ease. So it’s just a date and a final score that’s needed. Ready? Guess The Game From The Scoreboard. Place a link to the answer from pro football reference. And if you want to keep this going through the fall, please send me some new scoreboards! Drop me a line and help a fella out, k? Thanks!

UW #1 Seahawks Fan Michael Princip has been tracking the Oregon Ducks and all of their 2,456 possible uniform combinations this season. He’ll be updating it after each game. Unfortunately, the Ducks winning streak came to a screaching halt yesterday, as they were upset down in Palo Alto by the Cardinal. In their second loss of the season (a possible derailment of their bullet train to the Rose Bowl), one stark fact emerges: White unis=bad. Might be safe to say this is the last time they’ll be outfitted in both white pants and jerseys in 2009. Here’s Your Updated Ducktracker.

You knew the Boys of Benchies liked football and baseball, but today we find they also have an affinity for a non-major sport. They’re up to their usual hilarity and hijinx when one of the Original Six makes an appearance in their hometown. That Mick…he kills me. On that note, Enjoy Your Benchies for today.

Couple last things: Pacific Rim Correspondent Jeremy Brahm reports that even Japan is doing the Olde Tyme Baseball thing — check out that catchers’ mask! … Yesterday, both Oregon/Stanford and USC/ASU featured games where the officials were wearing one blue sleeve (sorry, no screen grabs) — it could best be described as a “long” blue sleeve worn on the right arm, underneath their regular official’s jersey (sort of like Jacoby Ellsbury in reverse). Anyone know what was up with that? … No Legacy Games today in the NFL, but we can all look forward to the Buccaneers busting out Bucco Bruce and the creamsicles in the Battle of the Bays (and that’s the early FOX game).

That’ll do it for today. Everyone have a great Sunday, and don’t forget to cast your vote for the WORST UNIFORM EVER.

By Phil Hecken

Uni Watch sage in the “venerable veteran” category Rick Pearson posed a semi-question/semi-statement in the comments section this past Thursday, which begat a few responses, but which really raised an excellent point or three, and perhaps something we could and should explore in greater detail. His ponderance remarked on a uniform phenomenon (both in college and the pros) whereby it seems we can readily classify most, if not all, uniforms into two distinct categories: “old school” and “new school.” Let me take you back to Ricko’s exact quote for further explanation/clarification/exploration:

I was thinking…(always a dangerous thing)…

Football unis have split decidedly into two camps
1. Traditional
2. Innovative

And that’s fine. I don’t love or hate all the unis in either category.

Maybe what we need is pick the five best looking football unis (college or pro) that DON’T have striped pants (don’t mean plain like Notre Dame, mean those with panels, piping or designs that AREN’T plain ol’ straight stripes).

Me, I think I’d vote for the Broncos home (navy jersey) version as number one. But not the navy pants. No sir, not their best look. Good colors, good design, didn’t go overboard.

A few comments followed, including some by yours truly, but we never really followed through on this idea. Nor did we ever try to rank (not that we could or should) say, the five best (and five worst) of the uniforms from each camp. While we did take a look at a very few colleges, for the purposes of this exercise, let’s focus on the NFL.

A quick look at the 32 teams in the NFL tells us that close to half fall into the category of “Old School” (or to use Ricko’s phraseology, “traditional”). We can safely list the Bears, Browns, Cowboys, Packers, Colts, Chiefs, Dolphins, Saints, Giants, Jets, Raiders, Steelers, 49ers, Eagles and Redskins in the “Old School” category. But that’s only 15 teams. And that’s only when they (some of them) don’t wear monochrome and/or leotards.

In the “New School” (or, in Ricko’s parlance, “innovative”) camp, we find eight teams (for sure): the Cardinals, Falcons, Bills, Bengals, Broncos, Panthers, Jaguars, and Vikings. One could argue that the Bills don’t really belong in the “new school” category — although they are so awful, they probably deserve a category of their own.

Anyway, that leaves us with 9 teams which I personally find somewhat difficult to place into either category. To wit, the Lions, Ravens, Texans, Patriots, Chargers, Seahawks, Rams, Buccaneers, and Titans all have some elements of a “traditional” uniform, but also some elements of an “innovative” one.

[I should note that I ran my list by Ricko, who really felt the uniforms I identified should be put into two camps: Ricko would move the Patriots, Seahawks, Rams and Titans to the “innovative” category, since
all have either non-linear helmet stripes, non-linear pants stripes, side panels or wear dark monochrome as pretty much their standard home uni…or a combination of those elements. The same could be said for the Bills. Rick would also put the Ravens, Chargers, Lions, Texans and Bucs into old school, since in his eyes, their logos and such are in standard postions, and they have normal striping or longstanding style trim (i.e. Chargers) on all of them.]

But really that’s neither here nor there — you can feel free to argue with our classifications — I don’t believe there’s any hard and fast rule that places one squarely into one category or the other, but certainly teams who have held onto (or permanently returned to) a “classic” uniform over the years, who have “standard” (linear) helmet, sleeve (what is left of them anyway) and pants striping would likely fall into the “traditional” category, while teams like the Cardinals or Falcons, who have opted to “modernize” their uniform with lots of jersey side panels, piping, striping, angles (also known as “bumperstickers”) and such fall into the “innovative” category.

Then we have teams that have elements of both. For example, the Patriots have side panels and a more “modern” helmet, but fairly traditional pants stripes, and they never opt for the “leotard” look. Likewise, the Chargers could probably just as easily be placed in the “traditional” category, yet whenever they wear their dark pants, they are always paired with dark blue socks, giving them an almost ballet dancer type of look. On the flip side of the coin, you have teams like the Saints who will, on occasion, breakout the monochrome leotards.

A good point to also ponder is what, really, does qualify for a “traditional” uniform? And can we limit our definition of “innovative” to the eight teams I have identified … should we include all 17 that don’t fall squarely into the “traditional” category? In the end, my categorizations don’t really matter, since even some of the traditional teams have sported some non-traditional uniform looks from time to time.

I’ve been criticized (sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly) for hating all non-traditional uniforms — while I would say as a general rule of thumb I do prefer traditional striping and combinations, I can certainly appreciate the “innovative” uniforms in their own way. But there are also uniforms out there that are simply bad — bad design is bad design — but I will try to keep an open mind when discussing the ‘newer’ uniforms and will express my love for a few of those here, following Ricko’s lead.

Let’s see what you guys think as well. Pick any football uniform, pro or college (I limited my list to the pros because it kept the list to 32 — but the colleges have literally hundreds to choose from) that would fall into the “innovative” (or “new school” or “modern”) category and show it some love. Ricko picked the Broncos, and for the home or road, I can see how this uniform is kind of cool (though no longer unique) in its own way. I sorta blame Nike and the Broncos for leading us down this new design path, but maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

If I had to pick one of the newer designs, I think I could grow to like the Cardinals — sure, I could do without the piping and non-linear striping, but it does kinda work. And the colors are gorgeous. And I’ve always said that this version of the Titans uniform is one of my all time favorites. Yeah — the fonts are kinda funky, the helmet has weird striping, it’s got an odd yoke and that logo probably leaves something to be desired — but the colors are fantastic and it really does look great. Powder blue and navy, (with just a tiny hint of red) work well together, and the white cleats and helmets just work.

So what about you? What are some of the really GOOD new and innovative designs out there, college or pro? Let’s build a list and see if we can’t look at the nu skool unis (because they certainly aren’t going away) and see if we can’t find some new classics. What designs can we look at today that will stand the test of time in 10, 20, even 30 years? I’m sure there are more than a few out there.

As many of you know, UCLA is going to be wearing throwbacks today. According to the UCLA Bruins Blog, “1967 Heisman Trophy winner (Gary Beban) was at the Morgan Center today (Friday) for a luncheon with former teammates and donors. He spoke with the Bruin football team later in the day and will be the honorary captain for Saturday’s Homecoming contest vs. Washington.

Beban brought his 1967 jersey with him. Here are a couple of pictures of Beban with his jersey and a shot of Beban’s 1967 jersey with one of the Throwback jerseys.”

Nice! Thanks to Erkki Corpuz (via Paul) for the tip.

FEAR THE SPEAR! Really? How about “The U Knows”? Are these movie taglines? Catchy phrases with which to insult your friends? How about “Good Guys Wear White” or “Don’t Back Down”? Maybe they’re song titles? Nope, nope, nope and nope.

Those are all Nike generated slogans (mouse over the models for a great laugh) they’re “giving” to the 10 schools they’ll be outfitting with “Pro Combat” uniforms and gear [late edit: as of yesterday afternoon, all ten models had some form of "slogan" associated with them -- but as of late last evening, only two did]. Paul already showed us some of the uniforms in yesterday’s article (if you didn’t see it, it’s a great read). Those slogans are (I’m pretty certain) going to appear on those super hero “special gloves” the players will be wearing, and it wouldn’t surprise me if it were sewn into the crotch area as well. Just so, ya know, they don’t forget who they’re playing for. This whole “super hero” mentality is just so ridiculous. As Paul said to me, “Nike seems to have no idea how to market anything except by turning it into a comic book. Aside from being silly, it’s also *soooo* generationally exclusive — like, how is any fan older than, say, 28 yrs old supposed to take slogans like Fear the Spear and The U Knows seriously?”

I’m guessing fans over the age of 28 aren’t in this Nike demographic.

And you thought baseball season had ended…not for the boys from Bub’s Pub. They’re still going strong — or so they think. I guess this is to be expected when you play fall softball in some midwestern state, right? Enjoy your Saturday Benchies. Seems like the Twins may have this to look forward to come spring, eh?

Guess The Game From The Scoreboard: Gonna try something a little different today. This is likely one you’ll not find by going to Retrosheet or Baseball Almanac or any of the likely sources. In fact, you’re not likely to find it anywhere. But you can still solve it. And you can probably find a link to it too. Date and location are all we’re gonna be looking for on this one. Have fun. Guess The Game From The Scoreboard. And if you want to keep this going through the fall, please send me some new scoreboards! Drop me a line and help a fella out, k? Thanks!

Guess that’s gonna do it for today. Still trying to get used to this new fangled software Johnny Ek installed here on UW (hopefully this will self-load at 7:00 am EST), and I apologize, but I was under the weather for most of the week. Lots of good college games today, plus the usual assortment of other sports as well. And make sure you give our man on the street, Jim Vilk, a hand by choosing those top college football matchups and posting pics down below.

Tomorrow I hope to begin featuring some of the MANY NFL uniform tweaks, upgrades and concepts you folks have been sending my way for the past several weeks. Plus we’ll have the finalists in the “Worst. Uni. Ever.” poll for your voting pleasure. And the usual assortment of goodies.

Enjoy your Saturday!

The stream of info on Nike’s “rivalry uniforms” program, which was supposed to be all hush-hush, went from a trickle to a full-on projectile vomit yesterday, as Florida State caught everyone (or at least me) off-guard by unveiling the superhero costume they’ll be wearing on November 21st. There’s a very thorough and illustrative photo gallery here, so take a minute to click though it before we go any further.

A few thoughts:

• The thread pattern on the shoulders looks like the experimental Oregon State design that first surfaced back in August. Reminds me of Spirograph art, which would normally be a good thing, except Spirograph art doesn’t really belong on a football uniform.

• If we go back to that Ohio State jersey photo that was making the rounds a few days ago, we can now see the same thread pattern on the shoulders of that jersey. I didn’t initially recognize it as such — thought it was just some sort of textured surface. But now it’s looking like Nike is going to give some of the same design elements to all of the rivalry uniforms. Which means, once again, they’re subsuming the individual team identities into the larger Team Nike concept. Fuckers.

• Interesting to see that the jersey in that FSU slideshow and the one in the Ohio State photo are both No. 55. Anyone know of any underlying significance there?

• The patterned undersleeves are exactly what Phil and Ricko have been proposing lately — a way to restore sleeve graphics to a uniform that no longer has sleeves. It’d be nice if the graphics in this case were something other than a giant feather, but whaddaya gonna do. At least it’s a team-based graphic instead of some sort of Nike branding graphic.

• The way the gloves fit together like a puzzle is cool — except that football players rarely have their hands together, and the individual glove designs don’t look so hot on their own.

• A black helmet? Sure, why not, whatever, knock yourselves out.

• My favorite three words in the promo package: “padded belt loop.”

• High-tech fabric, greater ventilation, lighter weight, higher breathability, moisture wicking Nobody cares.

• You know people are getting tired of Nike’s antics when a mainstream newspaper like The Orlando Sentinel responds to the new uniform by publishing something like this. Sample line: “There’s this thing down the side of the pants. You’ll see. Kind of looks like a horse tail.” Read the whole thing and then get me the writer’s phone number so I can ask him to fill in for me a few times a week.

And so on. Personally, I find it difficult to take this stuff very seriously — it’s not the worst uniform in the world, but I’m here to watch a football game, not the Batman. More importantly, FSU already has one of the best uniforms in the game — why mess with that? Oh, right: Because you can.

And here’s a scary thought to ponder: Buried within this promo sheet are the words “system of dress for football.” Grreeeeeaaaaaat.

Raffle Reminder: I’m currently raffling off three cool posters. Details here

Uni Watch News Ticker: Check out Babe Ruth wearing a special uniform from a 1934 tour of Japan. Further info here (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … Here’s a cool sheet running down all the Penguins’ skate details (with thanks to Dane Drutis). … I can’t believe it took a federal court case to determine that it’s OK to making paintings of football players. … Totally ingenious art project, which ties into issues of value, authentic-vs.-copy, etc., described here. … Awesome photo of Dean Meminger and Gary Brell wearing Marquette’s 1970-71 striped warm-ups. And the patch is for Apollo 11! … The Phils may have lost the Series, but they definitely have a more interesting assortment of facial hair than the Yanks will ever have (nice find by Nathan Haas). … We’ve all seen plenty of photos from old-style “base ball” games played by 19th-century rules. But Justin Lafferty recently attended one that had an extra twist, because the participants included Jeff Kent, Steve Finley (dig the botto end of the bat!), Blue Moon Odom, Spaceman Lee, Vida Blue, Gaylord Perry, and Rollie Fingers. You can see the rest of his photos from the game here. … UCLA will be wearing throwbacks tomorrow. … Good question from Cliff Murphy, who asks: Which team or league was the first to have its players wear championship T-shirts, caps, etc.? Or to put it another way, who’s to blame for this idiotic tradition? … Look, soccer without sponsors! “Normally Liverpool is sponsored by Carlsburg beer and Lyon by an online gambling site,” explains Coachie Ballgames. “However, French law bans alcohol ads and online gambling, so the net result was soccer played the way it should look, without ads.” … The Blazers will be wearing their Rip City alternates tonight. … And the Bucs will be wearing their creamsicles on Sunday. … The Rockets’ red alternate uni will make its debut tonight. That uniform and other Houston alternates are discussed in this article. … According to Greg Riffenburgh, this photo shows Michael Vick wearing the Air Zoom Vick II cleat from 2004. “That means he either has some left over, or Nike revived them for him (I’ll be they’re stockpiled),” says Greg. “Vick’s signature shoes haven’t been seen on the field in years (obviously) so I’m curious to see if he’ll be wearing any other versions of his old signature shoes in the near future.”