Have there ever been a worse helmet design match-up than last night’s Fiesta Bowl? Woof. Fortunately, the game featured a few uni-notable aspects:

• Boise State wore orange pants for the first time since the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. Although the pants had way too many gewgaws, I thought the basic white-over-orange look was really nice.

• Boise State also became the latest team to don riflery gloves.

• Speaking of gloves, I didn’t watch the halftime show, but Geoff Poole did: “The TCU band’s drum major was wearing what looked like the TCU riflery gloves. Holy crap. That’s going one step too far, if you ask me.” No photo, alas.

• A few Boise players pulled the old Nike stunt of wearing mismatched undersleeve colors. Most of them, however, went the more conventional route.

• At one point both of TCU’s No. 47s were on the screen at the same time — and Fox put up the graphic for the wrong one

• Speaking of Fox miscues, Jeron Johnson’s academic major was the subject of a rather unfortunate typo.

• It’s tough to see in this screen shot, but the folks at Nike couldn’t have been happy to see a TCU player sporting some Under Armour logo creep.

• No photos, but Zack Hickman sent me this footwear note during the game: “Both teams are wearing new cleats. Most skill position players appear to be wearing the new Nike Vapors that I was actually able to see during a focus group I was a part of. The way to tell the difference between the current 4.2 Vapors and the new Vapors is the large swoosh on the toe. Another thing: I may be mistaken, but the BSU offensive line appears to be wearing Nike Hyperdunk cleats. Basketball shoes as cleats?!” If someone more footwear-obsessed than I would like to provide some visual documentation of all this, I’ll be happy to run it tomorrow.

But the biggest surprise of the night for me was that I got quite a few e-mails that basically said, “What the hell is TCU wearing?” I guess a lot of casual fans had remained blissfully unaware of the riflery program until now. Lucky them.

(Big thanks to Chris Salove, Sam Forster, and Clark Ruhland for their screen shots.)

Signal Flare: Attention Chance Michaels, Paul Radetsky, Zach Davis
, and
 Steve Prestegard. Reader Nicole Haase would like a word with you for a project she’s working on. You can contact her here.

Research Query: Eric B. is trying to make a DIY Bronco Nagurski jersey, based on his U. of Minnesota days. “I’d love to see one of his jerseys in color,” says Eric. “Rumor is that his frat, Sigma Chi, has one of his jerseys framed. Do you have any Sigma Chi readers who could take a photo and e-mail it to me?” If you can help Eric out, e-mail him here.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Georgia Tech has decided that the Orange Bowl is a great time to unveil a new jersey. Brilliant! Details here (with thanks to Bobby Sanmiguel, who says he hears there will be new pants as well). … Brandon Flowers needs to buckle up. … The old Tiger Stadium scoreboard has been moved to Wayne State (with thanks to Tom Konecny). … Aarron Stilley made these DIY pennants and gave them away as Xmas presents last month. … Cycling news from Sean Clancy, who reports that team Sky has unveiled its inaugural kit and Quick Step has a new design. He also sent along these gorgeous cycling illustrations. … Remember the old Cincy Royals logo? When Chris Chaussee got married seven years ago, he and his true love used this logo, which they put on guitar picks as party favors. … Yesterday afternoon I was at Foley’s on West 33rd, where they had an odd photo showing Seaver and Gentry in various states of undress. … Wichita State wore MTXE-era throwbacks on Sunday (with thanks to Ryan Atkinson). … Ray Emery has a new homage-driven mask design (with thanks to Matt Pesotski). … Check out this shot, sent me way by J. Sebastian Smelko. The jersey was worn by Thornton Fractional North (that’s an Illinois high school) for their rivalry game against Thornton Fractional South around 1967. Love the “Beat South” yoke. Makes me wonder how many other teams have worn special messages for their rivalry games over the years (and I don’t mean special messages concocted by Nike’s marketing team). One that comes immediately to mind is the Jolly Roger that Navy wore for the 1962 Army/Navy game. Got any others? … An item toward the end of this page indicates that Kent State football is switching to Nike (with thanks to Jody Michael). … Bizarre contribution of the day: Dave Sizer was driving through our nation’s midsection last week and spotted the Majestic logo being used by an oil-change shop. Hey, all you Majestic people reading this, give me some good inside dirt and I’ll tell you where the shop is located.

Thanks to Phil’s recent “Worst Uni Ever” poll, you’ve seen plenty of Colorado Caribous photos lately. But most of you probably haven’t seen this one.

That shot, along with a bunch more (click on the thumbnails for larger versions), come from this site devoted to NASL jerseys, which reader Rob Bryant just brought to my attention.

In a nutshell: The site is so awesome that I might just have to become a soccer fan after all. A very small selection of the highlights (click on little pics to see big pics):

• Totally digging the chest logo used by the Montreal Olympique.

• Stripe-o-rama! That’s the Rochester Lancers, 1971. Interesting to see that they used a different font for the rear uni number.

• Love how the San Francisco Quakes used the cross stroke on the Q to form a fault line — or, better yet, to fracture a soccer ball. (As an aside, did you know there was an indoor soccer team called the San Francisco Fog? How awesome is that jersey?!)

• Sort of quaint how Minnesota teams are always named after the state, not after a particular city, as in the Minnesota Strikers. Not such a bad thing when it results in the state outline being depicted on the jersey, though.

• Check out the silver chain-stitching on this Las Vegas Quicksilvers jersey (which also has one of history’s clunkiest, most awkward NOBs).

• Uni typography doesn’t get much more quintessentially ’70s than this Edmonton Drillers design. Only problem is that the jersey is actually from 1982. Interestingly, the 1970s-esque design replaced something that was much more ’80s-ish.

• Very odd insignia for the 1980 Houston Hurricane. Don’t think I’ve ever seen a team intentionally obscure part of the type like that. But it’s probably better than this.

• The Adidas logo really ruined the elemental simplicity of this 1979 California Surf design. Looks better in this overexposed photo, since you almost can’t see the logo creep. (And speaking of the Surf, check out this shot from a game played at Vets Stadium, complete with all the MLB logos in the background. Ah, the indignities of being a minor sports league.)

• My vote for best NASL sleeves goes to the Tampa Bay Rowdies, for obvious reasons. Mmmm, tasty.

• Then again, the Toronto Blizzard had some pretty cool sleeves too.

• What happens you’re your team uses really huge-ass NOB lettering (and, as an aside a sews the apotrophe on backwards)? You run the risk of ending up with a DDNHOB (double-decker hyphenated NOB, duh)! Those jerseys are from the Hartford Bicentennials (now there’s a team name with a short shelf life), who had a very cool chest logo.

• Do you get the feeling that maybe the Detroit Cougars didn’t originally plan on using NOBs?

• On the other hand, the New York Cosmos left plenty of NOB room but didn’t know how to use it.

• So much to like in this photo of the Chicago Sting vs. the Dallas Tornado.

• Now that’s a weird number font. If you scroll through this page, you’ll see that the Clippers used all sorts of weird number treatments in their brief two-season existence.

• Starred socks! As worn by the Houston Stars, natch.

• Okay, I don’t mean to harp on the NOBs, but come on. Joe Hilseberg, where were you when this league needed you?

• I hate logo creep but love ticking stripes. So what do I make of this? Hmmm, that’s a tricky one. The team in question, by the way, is the 1980 Memphis Rogues, although they weren’t the only team using that design element.

• Interesting to see that the Philly Fury used a contrasting placket. Looked pretty good!

• Does this 1967 St. Looie Stars jersey totally look like a thrift store special or what? Yes, I’ll buy it for $6, sold!

And look, the site even has a page devoted to NASL cheerleaders. Would you believe the KC Spurs called their cheering corps the InSPURettes? And the Tampa Bay Rowdies called theirs — wait for it — the Wowdies.

And just to bring everything full circle, reader Raifie Bass has a real prize in his collection: a Colorado Caribous satin jacket!

That settles it, from now on Uni Watch will cover soccer exclusively, the end.

Research Query: Two years ago I wrote an ESPN column in which surveyed the Cowboys’ assorted uniform quirks, past and present. The following summer, I wrote similar columns about the Cubs and White Sox.

Those columns were really fun to write, and popular besides. I’d like to do more of them, but I’ve had a hard time identifying other teams that would benefit from the same treatment. Maybe the St. Looey Cardinals..?

Can you think of other teams that would fit the bill here? Remember, the operative concept here is NOT “Let’s look at this team’s entire uni history”; the idea is to find teams that have had interesting uni histories, replete with quirks and underappreciated nuances. If you go back and read those three previous columns, you’ll see that the Cowboys, Cubs, and Chisox fit this description exceedingly well. If you think any other teams qualify, don’t be shy about telling me. Oh, and please don’t bother suggesting Oregon’s football team, thanks.

Uni Watch News Ticker: New Aussie football kit for Port Adelaide (designed by a seven-year-old girl — no, really, read the sixth graf) and West Coast (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … Also from Jeremy: Check out this bizarre baseball jersey patch. That’s the Rojos del Aguila de Veracruz, circa 1940s. … Phil found some interesting shots of Teddy Ballgame wearing cut-off windbreaker sleeves and an undershirt. Here’s another. … Apparently Kareem didn’t get the memo about which shoes and socks to wear to the photo shoot (with thanks to Jeremy Richardson). … Danny Millan has started a new Brooklyn-centric clothing line. I appreciate the sentiments, although I hope the Brooklyn Nets never actually come to pass. … Remember these football gloves? Here’s the next evolutionary step (with thanks to Jonathan Mayer). … Ever wonder why David Vyborny used to use solid-black sticks? Right, me neither, but Columbus Dispatch beat writer Aaron Portzline had this to say during a recent online chat: “David Vyborny was so peeved that he didn’t get a stick deal that he used to spray paint his sticks black to keep from advertising the manufacturer. Vyborny was an interesting dude” (with thanks to Kellen Dargle). … Scandalous news out of New Jersey, where a little birdie informs me that the Devils’ throwbacks, slated to be worn on March 17th, will be lame-o fauxbacks. According to my source, they’re just using the current jersey template with green replacing the black. Also, they’re using the modern red and a darker green. Pfeh. … What team is this? Details here. … Troy Polamalu’s little embroidered cross is suddenly everywhere. Word I hear from league sources is that they’re okay with it because it’s covered by his hair, sort of like if he had a message on a T-shirt under his jersey — out of sight, out of mind — but I suspect the real story is that they don’t want to wade into the thorny thicket of religious expression. … Lots of Mets fans sent me this item about the new cream-base pinstripes, which will be officially introduced in a few weeks. The item implies that the cream pins won’t have the black drop shadow — I hope that’s true, but it does not jibe with the information I have. … Yesterday’s Portland Beavers entry inspired Craig Rockhold to send over a bunch of pics from that PCL exhibit at the San Francisco airport. … In a move that’s waaaaay overboard for a high school, Under Armour is sponsoring River Hill High in Maryland and has provided them with a different uniform for every game this season (with thanks to Jonathan Blake). … Pete Woychick recently rediscovered these two high school hoops warm-up tops in his parents’ attic. Super-offensive logo icon on one of them, but nice pieces nonetheless. Odd to see St. Joe’s abbreviated as “St. Jo’s,” no? … Throwbacks will be in the mix this season for Loyola Marymount. No images yet, but the game dates are listed in the middle of this page. … 1957 A.L. Red Book, in what looks to be tip-top condition, available here (thanks, Teebz). … Back to Uni Watch’s new favorite sport: Coachie Ballgames has done an analysis of World Cup uniforms and concluded that it’s all about the collars.

It doesn’t take much to make my day — just genius, transcendence, perfection. Serve me up a tall glass of those and I’m an easy fella to please, ask anyone.

Case in point: Show me a 1956 Portland Beavers jesey and I’ll walk around with a big, goofy smile on my face for the rest of the day. The fun Cardinals-knockoff design (which is odd, because they weren’t affiliated with the Cards at that time), the gorgeous chain-stitching (that’s a modern reproduction, but still…), it’s a masterpiece. What could be better?

Oh, maybe this.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit, look at those sleeve stripes mimicking the stirrup stripes! It’s like a perfect call-and-response mating dance. It’s like that beautiful dream that you can’t quite remember when you wake up. It’s like heaven on a stick, only without the stick.

But was it just an isolated thing worn by that one guy? A mere tease to torture us with visions of what might have been? No!

Just imagine it: an entire team decked out in the game’s greatest stripe pattern, high and low. The mind reels, the body trembles. This, brothers and sisters, is what the political and corporate puppet masters don’t want the people to know about. This is the vision that could awaken the masses from their narcotic stupor and upend the establishment. This is How Life Is Supposed to Be.

I know of only one other baseball team that had matching sleeve and sock stripes: the early-1940s Cubs (see photos here, here, and here). I thought they were an isolated example, but the Beavers pics suggest otherwise. This changes everything.

Allow me to suggest a few immediate and urgent items for the agenda:

• There must be other photos of the 1956 Beavers out there. It is imperative that we find them.

• Now that we know the Cubs weren’t the only team with matching sleeve/stirrup stripes, we need to start scouring the old newspaper files for additional examples. I’m confident that they’re out there.

• We must — MUST — find one of these old Beavers undershirts. There has to be one stowed away in someone’s house, tattered and moth-nibbled. It is essential that we find out who manufactured it. (Jeremy Brahm, you live in Portland, so please start snooping around in people’s closets and attics, thanks.)

• Meanwhile, it is just as essential for someone, or perhaps several someones, to begin making reproductions of the undershirt. Jerry Cohen, Peter Capolino, whoever’s running the show over at Stall & Dean this week — I’m talking to you. Get crackin’. (Update: Cohen just told me, “Love to, but it can’t be done. No one will make a garment with knit-in stripes in low quantities. The machinery doesn’t exist anymore in the U.S.” Then he added, “If someone wants 10,000, maybe…” Okay, I’m in for the first thou. Who’s with me?)

• Finally, I hope all you Photoshop tweakers are already busily creating images to show us how other teams might have looked if their sleeves had matched their hose. Imagine a sleeve stripes based on this pattern, for example. Or this. Or, dare I even think it, this.

Okay, brothers and sisters, our mission is clear. But before we adjourn, let’s give a word of thanks — nay, a standing ovation! — to Pacific Northwest baseball historian Dave Eskenazi, who discovered these amazing photos and sent them my way a few days ago. I’ve been in a state of bliss ever since.

Like I said, I’m an easy fella to please.

Update: About an hour after this entry was posted, reader Roger Faso came up with this team portrait. Looks like five of the players are wearing the sleeve stripes in that shot.

Bigger Update: Dave Eskenazi has just come up with seven additional photos showing the sleeve stripes. I’ve put them all here.

Mardi Gras in November: The Hornets will unveil their new Mardi Gras alternates this afternoon. I’m not allowed to talk about them until the unveiling begins at 4pm eastern. So at that precise moment, I will post a short new entry here on the blog (probably just a photo and a few sentences) and will also have a new column going live on ESPN. Trust me — love ’em or hate ’em, you sure won’t be able to ignore them.

Uni Watch News Ticker: You’d think the NFL could use its current logo when turning people down for Super Bowl tickets (that’s the letter Bo Baize got). … Big Ohio State riflery photo gallery here, and a Miami riflery gallery here. … A little birdie — okay, a little birdie named Moe Khan — tells me the CFL will switch to having the home team wear white next season. … Kevin Marks got an excellent shot of Lendale White wearing what appears to be three pairs of socks (or two pairs plus a calf sleeve, whatever, same diff). … CJ Giannuzzi spotted this guy at last Sunday’s Steelers/Bengals game. … Wanna buy 200 really cool vintage sports T-shirts? I have just the link for you. … Jonathan Cain wonders why Benny the Bull’s uniform doesn’t match what the team wears. … You can really see the difference between the Packers’ seamless and standard jerseys here and here (with thanks to Jacob Shell). … This photo is full of Very Famous People but I’m not gonna tell you who they are because it’s such a great photo — why ruin it with celebrity baggage? (But Jen Muller knows who they are.) … Hey look, a big sportswear company has decided to treat its sweatshop workers like human beings after all. What a concept. … Memphis had one player going NNOB last night. Not sure of the story behind that (as spotted by Chris Salove). … Extremely garish new uniform for the Brisbane Lions (with thanks to Heather Hamilton). … Someone has started a petition demanding that the MLB Network air the Dock Ellis no-hitter. Not a bad cause, but it would be even cooler if they’d air the No Mas-produced Dock Ellis no-hitter animation.

Here’s something I forgot to mention in last Friday’s NBA entry: Players in Saturday’s Suns/Warriors preseason game, which was played outdoors, had official permission to wear long undersleeves — an NBA first. It’s not yet clear if this will lead to sleeves being worn for indoor and/or regular season games, but it’s definitely something that’s being discussed. Personally, I have no problem with it. Hell, put some stripes or patterns on those sleeves and you might even end up with basketball uniforms that aren’t a total joke.

Or, more likely, you might make a bad situation worse. But hey, nothing ventured…

New ESPN column today — look here. Paul

Sponsor Shout-Out: As some of you may already have discovered, the folks at Pennant Race Gear (whose ad appears in the right-hand rail) are running an interesting contest-driven promotion — check it out.

Uni Watch News Ticker: New hoops uniforms for Alabama, UNLV, Miami Ohio, and Grand Canyon, plus Washington appears to have added a seriously ugly black alternate. … New throwback hockey jersey for the University of Denver. … So did Jerry Koosman give tax advice to Ron Darling or what? … According to our “White at Home in the NFL” page, the Raiders had never worn white at home until last week. But now Erin Haight has found a photo of Oakland wearing white at home in a 1967 preseason game. “I was not aware of that,” says jersey scholar Timmy Brulia. “I won’t add this to the white-at-home log, since it was a preseason game, but it’s interesting to note that at least one other AFL team, the Oilers, wore white at home for their preseason games in 1968 and 1969 at the Astrodome. To my knowledge — and I think I can say this with a pretty good degree of certainty — no AFL regular or postseason game ever featured a team wearing white at home.” … Great to see so many old baseball sweaters gathered in one place (thanks Kirsten). … Fun analysis of mascots here (with thanks to Jason Hillyer). … OK, so we all know NFL players now wear tights, and/or leg warmers, and/or socks sewn into the cuffs of their pants, and/or anything other than a standard pair of socks. But Reggie Wayne was really pushing it on Monday night. … Ricko, who knows I’m a Niners fan, sent me a bunch of interesting stuff from his files, including an SI item about the team’s equipment manager and some 1960s shots that show how the team was sometimes wearing silver pants with silver helmets and silver pants with gold helmets before finally settling on gold/gold in 1969. But wait, here’s a 1970s card that appears to show silver pants, although I don’t put much stock in a Topps card photo from that era. … Semi-decent view of the Browns’ 1999 “inaugural” patch here. … Man, the Devils wore some huge-ass helmet numbers in the late ’90s. Those screen shots come from this video clip (good find by Tomas Abrate). … The Canadiens’ centennial throwback schedule is up (with thanks to John Muir). … Ooh, check out Robert Marshall’s latest bobblehead video. … Fifteen-year timeline of photographic timeline of Presidents Cups here. … Good little article about Brad May getting his preferred uni number here (with thanks to Alyssa Miller). … Another new mask for Carey Price (with thanks to Casey B). … Hey, you know that amazing 1927 Tigers uniform? Here it is being worn in 1928 spring training, except for that one guy in the back row (amazing find by Bruce Menard). … The Blazers wore their Rip City jerseys last night, and Scott Little took a bunch of pics. “The game was at the Memorial Coliseum — a pretty cool old little arena,” he writes. “Steve Blake was wearing some shoes that I didn’t recognize, got a couple pics of those too.” … WVU will reportedly wear gold jerseys and white pants against Marshall this weekend (thanks, Kek). … Bizarre eBay find here. Never seen sleeves like that on a baseball jersey before. Judging by the patch placement and the straight hem, it was meant to be worn untucked, which makes me wonder if it was a women’s softball jersey. But the buttons are on the right, which is the men’s button format. Hmmmm. And man, that “Cadets” sleeve patch is the best! Great, great find (big thanks to Gabe Butler).

By Phil Hecken, with Rick Pearson

You may have heard the phrase before, since I used it last weekend quite a bit. “Just One More Bumper Sticker” syndrome is a phrase my running mate, Rick Pearson (aka “Ricko”) and I use to describe a (typically) football uniform that has one unique (or semi-unique) design element, but instead of just plain leaving well enough alone, the designers have to add one (or more) unnecessary, superfluous or extraneous element(s) rendering the entire uniform … well … not good. The “design” may look great on paper, or more likely, in Adobe or some other photoshop-type program, but it fails when actually put on a human being. Stick with me here.

With the official first weekend of NFL football finally upon us, and with Paul’s most-awaited column of the year (in my opinion, anyway) posted last Wednesday, Ricko and I are going to look at some of the uniforms on the NFL that suffer from OMBS (“one more bumper sticker”) syndrome, or are just a tweak or two away from looking REALLY good. We’re not touching the classics, we’re not talking about changing colors, logos or helmets — we’re just going to look at several teams whose uniforms are thisclose to being very good or great. Today, we will examine the five most egregious violators of uniform protocol — the Cards, Falcons, Bills, Rick’s own Vikings and the Bengals. With just a few minor tweaks (OK, in some cases they may be more than minor), we can improve these uniforms. Of course, many of you will disagree, but that’s OK because these are just our opinions. But when all is said and done, we think you’ll agree, the minor changes we’re suggesting will be changes for the better. OK? Good, let’s set the ground rules.

Ricko sets the parameters:

* We see it more as “editing” than redesigning.

* We stay inside the current design elements.

* That means…
> No color changes.
> No logo changes.

* We just clean up the overkill, the excess in “bumper stickers”, show a little restraint.

* We will consider past unis in making minor modifications.

* No dark monochrome combinations will be considered. (Well, Rick thinks there are a few that work OK)

Rick also wants to stress that we’re “not saying EVERYONE should make these, not at all. Just that if a few did, it would diminish the now-getting-routine proliferation of panels, yokes, wandering piping and meandering pants stripes.”

Many of the new looks are fun, and we left them alone. We’re also giving the Broncos a “full and complete pardon,” since, although that uniform may have been the precursor to the side panel and truncated stripe madness, they were the originator of that look. That’s good enough for us — you invent it, you keep it, it’s yours. We just think if a few teams would pull back on such things a little, there’d actually be more variety in NFL uniforms.

Ready?

Arizona Cardinals: The southwest birds underwent a major uni overhaul only a scant few years ago, going from one of the all time classics to one of the worst OMBS teams. Seriously — WTF? You’ve got shoulders that are a different color (on the roads) than the rest of the uni, little “panels” within those shoulder blotches, weird stripes running down the sides of the jersey, and some amorphous truncated stripe on the pants. Too much. So, what can we do to improve this cacophony of offensive visual malacuity?

Lets start by removing the side panels truncated pants “stripe”. This way, we keep the feel for the uniform, but remove the extra bumper stickers. Oh yeah, adding striped socks is a must too. The Cards don’t look too bad in red pants, so we take the same approach there — ok, maybe they need a real stripe. You want to add a throwbackish stripe instead (and some ‘matching’ socks)? Maybe that’s pushing it. Personally, I loved the ‘all white look‘ of the last generation of uniforms, so if I had my way, I’d remove the shoulder red, give them some real shoulder stripes, and stick the old logo on there for good measure. But that’s probably just wishful thinking.

For the home uniform, while it’s already better now than the road (at least being solid red, for the most part), it still suffers from the random white panels & unneeded black piping — plus those awful pants. If we remove the bumper stickers, and properly stripe the pants, here’s what we get. Not bad, right? Only other tweak you could make is to put the Cardinal logo back on the sleeve.

We start with the Cardinals because they seem to exemplify the alarming trend of making the pro’s unis look like NCAA Division II schools. Let’s keep that sort of stuff back in the college game. But the Cardinals are far from alone.

Atlanta Falcons: The southeast birds very much like the Cardinals. And again, this is only one or two less bumper stickers away from being a really good uniform. Especially when you consider that this season, the Falcons are throwing back with this beauty. Their current uni set (notice the beautiful throwbacks in that template) is light years away from anything resembling an NFL uniform, but with a few minor changes, it would look pretty damn good.

Simply removing the multicolored “chips” in the shoulders, and eliminating the superfluous side piping and truncated pants stripes yields a very respectable uni set. Of course, those shoulder colorizations could certainly go too.

One element about the Falcons uniforms is, if you take away the extraneous junk, you can dress them in several different (although no monochrome red or black) unis and they’ll look good in all of them. Seriously. All-white, black over red (hey, we like the red pants), red over black (just make sure the socks are a different color), red over white, white over red (even looks good without stripes), or black over white. It’s all good! They like to play mix-and-match, and we like that. Just get rid of the extra bumper stickers.

Buffalo Bills: OK, we think most of us agree this is the worst uniform in the NFL. It’s always running neck and neck with the Bengals (we’ll get to them shortly), but surely, it’s up there. It would probably take more than the removal of a few bumper stickers to get them looking anywhere near as good as the AFL throwbacks they’re sporting this season, but we’ll give it a shot. We can certainly improve the uni without too much effort. As with the first two offenders, we’ll need to remove the side panels and start there.

Simply getting rid of the panels is an immense improvement. But it’s still not very good. Yet. See, the Bills are one of those teams who think monochrome white (not terrible) or monochrome blue (awful, awful, awful) is a good look. Simply pairing the white top with blue pants is an improvement. Conversely, pairing the blue top with white pants is much better. (Ricko tweaks that look a tad further by adding the logo to the jersey and moving the TV numbers to the shoulders.) But it’s still a mess — two different colors (and not all that complimentary either) of blue, red helmet, shoulder “yoke” (for lack of a better term). Feh.

We strive to keep at least one unique element when tweaking the uniforms, and it appears as though the Bills are alone in that shoulder yoke. But do they really need a two color yoke on their road unis? No. So, lets keep the outline and decide on one color blue for the jerseys and pants. Not a fan of the navy? We’re not either, they’re more of a royal blue kind of team. See? Much better.

We’ve eliminated the visual cacophony that is the current uni. Now, lets fix the home jersey by simply keeping the minor adjustments and putting them in a more appropriate royal blue. Is it as good as this? Hell no. Like most people on the planet, we’d prefer they adopt that full time. But is this better than this? You be the judge.

On a quick side note, Ricko and I disagree on at least one point concerning the Bills. I wouldn’t mind seeing them in a red jersey (with throwback helmet) or especially in their current lids. Rick, however, remembers the Bills in royal blue, so to him, that red jersey is anathema. Hey, we can’t always be in agreement.

Minnesota Vikings: One of the more egregious offenders in the bumper sticker syndrome department. Actually, the Vikings have what appears to be a very cool and unique element to their uniforms — the attempted “replication” of the helmet horn on the jersey sleeve. Or, at least that’s what we’d like to believe. But, like the others, they take it too far by adding the ridiculous panel. And then there’s the pants. Piping and truncated striping again. Make it stop.

Our solution for the Vikings is relatively simple. Ricko simply removes the superfluous side panel to create the illusion of a horn, and of course, gives them normal pants stripes. I took that a bit further by putting an actual horn on the sleeve. Either way, it’s an improvement.

For the away jerseys, you could put the actual Viking on the sleeve, continue the “shoulder treatment” (as Ricko suggested), or go with purple horn (similar to the home mockup). I really like Ricko’s idea the best here.

Simple, keeping a nice unique design element (viking horn replicated on shoulder), and cleaning up the excess bumper stickers. Done.

Cincinnati Bengals: Viewed by many as the worst uniform in all of football (or at least a close second to the Bills), this could easily be a great and distinctive uniform, but for all the extra clutter bumper stickers. I mean, c’mon … seriously? Yet, the Bengals are very unique in distinct with their “tiger stripe” helmet and shoulder pads, but they get carried away with the panels, piping, etc. Our solution to the Bengals is surprisingly simple, but it fits in with the above teams. Lets dump the junk and focus on a truly cool element. And give them some real pants stripes. And no monochrome black.

The Cincy club is another who like to “mix and match” various tops and bottoms. That’s OK. We’ll start with the white over white. Now, damn! That’s a pretty good looking uniform, right there. But the white jersey, currently is the only one without the stupid panel down the side, so that’s an easy fix. How about black over white? Nice right? Keeps the stripes prominently but not to the point of beating a dead horse. And since real bengal tigers are more orange than black, Ricko thinks the orange jersey should be their main jersey, rather than the alt. I think we could all enjoy seeing this six or eight times a season. The key element here, though, is the white pants — they really look good with any of those three jerseys.

What about the black pants? Well, we’d prefer they don’t wear them, but as long as they will, we need to put on real stripes and make sure the socks are not black. What about on orange top? We’re getting a little crazy, here but OK. Still beats what they wear now. Finally, they don’t actually wear orange pants, but again, how about we replace those black ones? It’s a tad loud, but it could work. Better orange than black.

And we’ve still kept the unique helmet and shoulder stripes, which are the essence of the Bengals, and the beginning of a much better uniform. At least we think so.

Lime Green Hawks? On another note, the rumor mill is still ablaze about a possible Seahawks alternate — the one Paul wrote about on April Fool’s Day. Paul alluded to it in his NFL preview column, and we’ve all seen the leaked Madden screen grab. Even UW’s resident Seahawk uber-fan, and the man behind greenglare.com, Michael Princip has come up with a concept.

God save us all. Of course, Ricko and I are on opposite ends of this one — Ricko thinks the snot lime green alt (NOW rumored to be paired with lime green PANTS) would be ‘fun’ while I think it may be “ok” if worn ONLY ONE TIME and then permanently retired (unlike the Browns brown pants). This retina searing getup can only be a blight on the game, in my opinion.

And if you’re all hoping to see this, even once, whether it be with white or “blue” (not quite sure what that color is) pants … Be careful what you wish for. Can you imagine a whole UNIFORM in that color? That could set the earth a-spinning off its axis. Seriously.

OK, that’s going to do it for this week’s “bumper sticker” piece. I’ll be back with Ricko soon to offer some more modest tweaks to some of the other NFL teams. The worst offenders have been fixed. But our work is not yet done. Let us know what you think.

Our man in the street, Jim Vilk brings you his “Top 5″ Best and one WORST college football uni matchup from yesterday:

#5: How classic is Notre Dame vs. Michigan? And the game was pretty classic too.

#4: Iowa vs. Iowa State. A lot of yellow, but it works, so let it brighten your day.

#3: USC vs. TOSU. You probably won’t see this matchup in January, so enjoy it now.

#2: PSU vs. Syracuse. Love the contrast of blue and white vs. white and orange.

#1: UCLA vs. Tennessee. Very cool. Don’t change a thing, either one of you.

And the WORST uni matchup is….

Mizzou vs. Bowling Green. All black vs. brown pit stains? Bleah.

Thanks Jim. I’ll make sure to provide dissenters with your E-mail addy on request.

Guess The Game From The Scoreboard: I’m pretty sure I never gave you this one as a game before. If I did, in advance, I apologize. It’s probably not all that difficult anyway, but you never know. Teams are obvious, stadium should be obvious … all that’s left is determining when the game was played and the final score. As always, use a link Retrosheet or Baseball Almanac to post your guess. And, please let me know if you want to try a “Guess The Game” for football, since the season has now begun (don’t know how that would play out, but we can try it if you’re all up for it). OK? OK. Ready? Guess The Game.

Two words: “Foot Fault”

Whew. We wind down this post with a nice, full-color edition of Benchies. Of course, on ‘opening weekend’ of the NFL, the boys are out on the gridiron. Ricko didn’t fix their unis, tho — they’re fine just as is. So, without further ado, here’s your 11 Panel Sunday Benchies.

That’s a wrap. Are you ready for some football?

If you’re interested in sending me a MLB “uni tweak,” you know what to do. Probably gonna have a post on those I’ve received so far real soon. And, next weekend, all you graphic artists get ready, because we’re gonna have a contest … with an actual prize. So stay tuned. Have a fantastic Sunday everyone.

The weirdest thing about the 49ers’ new uni set, which was unveiled on Saturday, is how little media coverage it’s gotten. Newspaper photos have been scarce, and even the team’s web site had only one small photo and a really low-quality video report — frustrating for me, since the Niners are my favorite NFL team. So we’ll have to make due with a bit less visual support than we’re used to seeing around here. With that in mind, here we go:

• The new colors: For those keeping score at home, the team’s red has changed from Pantone 194 to Pantone 187C, and the gold has changed from 874 to 872. The new tones are more throwback-y/classic/Montana-ish/etc., but I don’t care for them as much. This feels like tradition simply for tradition’s sake. Is it good or is it stupid? Stupid (but my TV is probably too old for me to be able to tell the difference anyway).

• The new helmet: Basically, they’ve restored the red-white-red stripe and the gray facemask (both of which were used from 1964-1995, plus recent throwback games) but kept the revised “SF” oval that was introduced in 1996. Here’s how the new helmet looks compared to last year’s main helmet, and compared to the throwback helmet the team has worn in recent years. I think they got it right in terms of the stripe and the facemask (I know some of you hate gray masks, but I always hated the red mask) and I’m agnostic about the two logos — they’re both fine by me. Good or stupid? Good.

• The new jerseys: First the good news: Ditching the drop shadows and going back to one-color numbers is addition by subtraction. Ditto for removing the “SF” logo from the sleeves. Now the bad news: (1) That chest wordmark is a disaster. For starters, it’s an awkward design — always has been. In addition, putting a logo with a number right above the uni number looks idiotic. If they had to have a chest logo (which they didn’t), why not use the “SF” mark, or come up with a new “Niners” mark? This is the worst possible choice they could have made. (2) What is the freaking deal with the truncated sleeve stripes? It’s not just the tailoring on that one jersey — the stripes are actually shown that way on the team’s official style guide sheet and in Madden (the helmet striping and facemask in that shot are wrong, so don’t be thrown by them). Look, if you can’t fit real stripes on your sleeves armholes, just don’t bother with them. This half-assed compromise just doesn’t cut it. So while I’m glad to see the drop shadows being scrapped, the overall effect still leans toward stupid.

• The new pants: The worst thing about the Montana-era uniform was that the pants piping was ridiculously wide. The team has stayed true to that look in recent throwback games, but the new pants piping appears to be much more reasonable. No more “SF” logo on the hips, either. A major improvement. Very, very good.

I’d been hoping they’d be going back to striped socks, but no such luck — same red-topped hose as before. Dang.

So, upgrade or downgrade? Bit of a mixed bag, sez I. I can live with it. But it’s veeeeery tempting to sneak in the locker room with an Xacto knife to cut the chest wordmark out of every jersey in the joint.

Meanwhile, here’s a question: Is there a name for the type of color-white-color striping that the Niners are restoring to their uniforms? When I was a kid, this stripe pattern was practically synonymous with the NFL, at least to me, so for now let’s call it NFL striping. (If this stripe design has its own name in the uni biz, or if you’d like to propose a better name, I’m listenin’.)

In 1975, when I was in sixth grade, 10 of the league’s 26 teams used NFL striping on their helmets and/or pants (that’s not including the Jets and Colts, because their striping was — and still is — on a white background, which somehow feels like a different thing to me). Twenty years later, in 1995, the count was 10 out of 28 teams. But then several teams, including the Niners, started moving away from NFL striping. As of last year, the count was seven out of the league’s 32 teams (the Browns, Texans, Titans, Lions, Cowboys, Packers, and Saints; we could also include the Bears for their dark pants, but I don’t think they wore them at all last year).

Now the Lions have moved away from NFL striping as well, but the Niners have reclaimed it. Interesting to see them moving against the grain on this particular stripe pattern.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Last week I mentioned that Texas Tech had recently worn throwbacks. Turns out their video department made a throwback-style highlight reel of the game, and it is hands down the best sports-related video I’ve seen this year. Stop what you’re doing and check it out here (major thanks to Kirk Heard). … Kevin Wright was watching the 1996 NHL All-Star Game and noticed that the Great One was wearing a CCM helmet instead of his usual Jofa model. … Gerry Dincher asks, not unreasonably: If MIT’s teams are called the Engineers, why is their mascot a sinister beaver? … Dave Battafarano coaches this high school team in Wilmington, Delaware. “All players and coaches are required to wear pants at the knee and must show three stripes when we are in our grays,” he says. “We are the only HS team in Delaware to wear stirrups and sanitaries, and naturally the only to have stripes. We get a ton of comments, mostly compliments. People are amazed when they see the half-moon sanitary showing and many have no clue what they are.” Well done, Dave, but now teach those kids how to blouse their pant cuffs properly. … The Red Sox wore five different uniforms in their first 15 games (Jesse Pugh broke out his abacus to tally that one). … Uni typos aren’t a new phenomenon as you can see in these Spokane Indians photos from 1908. Over three decades later, Spokane’s baseball community was still a bit spelling-challenged. Love those uniforms, though (big thanks to Pacific Northwest baseball guru Dave Eskenazi, who’ll be throwing out the first pitch for for the A’s/Mariners throwback game on May 2nd, when the teams will be dressing up as the Oakland Oaks and Seattle Rainiers). … I gotta get me one of these (with thanks to Nolan Brett). … This has gotta be a joke, right? Apparently not (with thanks to John Muir). … Classy. … Small piece on bank logos here. … Here’s what Terence Kearns wore to Friday’s Mets/Nats game. … According to this page, the Red Sox may live up to their name on the road before the season is out. Key quote, from Bosox chief operating officer Mike Dee: “Socks are not usually a prime consideration when you design uniforms, because two years ago we had 25 guys who wore their pants down to their shoes.” Okay: (1) Asshole. (2) Two years ago you had Mike Timlin, Jason Varitek, and Coco Crisp. (3) Are you aware of your team’s name? (4) See #1 (with thanks to Mark Sullivan). … Lots of cool old football screen shots from helmet historian Jim Parker. In no particular order: a backwards helmet numeral, inverted lightning bolts, inconsistent helmet number fonts, the Packers still wearing their old navy accessories in their forest green era, and — here’s the doozy — Amos Marsh wearing totally “WTF?” TV numbers, not just once, but twice! Plus it looks like the TV number didn’t color-match the sleeve stripes. … Bob Wilson posted the following on the SABR listserv the other day: ” The A’s 1953 uniforms were very similar to those of 1952, except for having much smaller numerals on the back. For those who remember the Phillies uniforms of those days, with their extra-large numerals, the 1952 A’s had ones about as big as that, whereas with the 1953 A’s they were sized more like those of most other teams. Anyway, that’s the way it was for their 1953 home opener, but some of the [’52] variety began to appear as the months rolled by. This circumstance was an early indicator of the team’s deepening poverty — they couldn’t afford to replace torn shirt but fortunately had some left around from 1952. … Then things got worse next year, according to two books where it’s claimed that the A’s never paid for their 1954 uniforms.” Never heard any of that before. … Also from SABR-L, this time from David Vincent: “The owner of the Carolina League champion Potomac Nationals wears a uniform for Saturday home games and ‘coaches’ first base. He grew up in Brooklyn at the time that [Jackie] Robinson made his debut. His name is Art Silber, a retired banker, and wears No. 42 for the Potomac team. His goal, as he has told me multiple times, is to be the last No. 42 in pro ball. He only has to wait out Mariano Rivera for that dubious honor.” … Major tavern crisis on the horizon in Europe, as the leading beer coaster purveyor has gone bankrupt (with thanks to the world’s greatest cat-sitter, Laura Forde). … Good article here about minor league equipment managers (with thanks to Brett Crane). … Here’s another view of the Jags’ original jersey concept, which was later scrapped (with thanks to Jared Pike). … Completely hilarious uni-centric video about “baseball of the future” here — not to be missed (with thanks to my ESPN editor, Dave Schoenfield). … New York State and surrounding environs logo mash-up by Jeremiah McElwain. … Jeff Demerly reports that he wore gold sanitaries — and gold shoelaces! — back in his Little League days, circa 1974. “Our coach worked at a sporting goods store and always liked color,” he says. “My last year, we switched to red, white, and blue. That team picture was taken after a practice, so you can’t see the total package, which included numbers on our pants like the Astros. We were certainly the most ‘original’ team in our city league.” … Last week’s issue of Time Out New York included this photo. Never seen that Mets skirt before. … The Washington Huskies have unveiled their new football uniforms. More pics here. … Stirrups and uni-numbered shower shoes! That’s Roger Maris, natch (with thanks to Jesse Spector). … Footwear note from Brian Erni: “On Saturday SNY did a report on which players wear plastic cleats as opposed to players who wear metals (for example, Jose Reyes always wears plastics, Luis Castillo wears metals). Jeremy Reed — who wears metals so he can dig in better in the box — said that when he played with Adrian Beltre in Seattle, Beltre would actually wear flat turf shoes in the field when they would play in Minnesota, Tampa or Toronto and would actually switch cleats to metal spikes before he hit so he could dig in better. Would be great to find photographic evidence of this!” … The Padres wore 1969 throwbacks on Saturday, and holy shit did those striped hose look totally sexy. Broadcaster Mark Grant was dressed for the occasion, too. Too bad about the badly inaccurate rear view, though (Grant screen shot courtesy of Mike Hersh). … Ladies and gentlemen, only three words are appropriate here: Oh. My. God. … Anyone know why Mike Richards had “PP” printed on his teeth the other day? (Screen shot courtesy of Ryan Connelly.) … The Denver Post ran a big series of articles about Denver-area uniforms yesterday. Start here for the mainbar, and then check out the side articles about the Nuggets, Broncos, CU Buffs, and local athletes’ opinions. … Here’s next season’s AHL All-Star Game logo. … The New York Mets, lamest, dumbest, most embarrassing franchise on the planet. Can’t we just send the Wilpons on an all-expenses-paid excursion the Chechnya or something? … Reprinted from Sunday’s comments: Usain Bolt wore this jersey while throwing out the first pitch at Fenway on Saturday. The uni number, of course, refers to the average number of runs given up by the Yankees’ bullpen each game. … Recently acquired this old uni catalog. Nothing momentous, but a few interesting tidbits: (1) Check out the padded facebar at 10 o’clock — never seen that before. (2) Note that the ventilation grommets on two of these sneakers are on the rubber strip, not on the canvas. Sloppy illustration, or did Chucks used to be designed that way? (3) The football footwear page included a listing for little press-on uni-number tabs. Hey, Terry Proctor, were those common back in the day? And (4) Dig item G914, described as the “Ted Sowle Model” of eyeglass protection. Who’s Ted Sowle? Beats me. Anyone..? … Now I’ve seen everything (with thanks to Brinke Guthrie). … Was out having a few beers at O’Connor’s on Friday and found myself sitting next to a gent named Ryan McManus. As you can see, he had an extremely nifty T-shirt, plus he had this cap, which I’d never seen before. He said it was from a now-defunct Massachusetts bar called the b-Side. Awesome MLB logo treatment on the back, too. … We’ve previously noted that the Pirates’ collar piping extends down the jersey’s inner flap. But it turns out that it doesn’t extend all the way down (good spot by Tim Collins). … “I went to the NFL draft over the weekend,” says Will Slade. “They had an AFL 50th Anniversary Booth and handed out brochures that detailed the ‘Legacy Games.’ In addition, some of the NFL employees had AFL logo lapel pins. Here’s a photo of the officials’ uniforms and the Broncos’ uniform.” … Stan Olechowski was visiting his galpal as Delware Valley College and snapped pics of some cool items, including this button and this jersey, which has a cool rounded insignia and a beautiful, fascinating label. Anyone know more about who S&C might be? … Two AFL find by Tom Park: First, this is from a Chargers/Titans preseason game in August of 1960. Odd that the official was wearing a plain white jersey, no? Even odder: Joe Namath wearing what appears to be a practice jersey (NNOB, no green trim on the sleeves) on 12/6/69.

By Phil Hecken (with a big assist from Ricko)

There are certain things certain athletes always do (or did) — or almost always do (or did) — in the way they wore their uniforms, or the way they dressed for their sport. In some cases, they were the first to do what they did. In others, it was just them, and their way.

Beyond that, there isn’t much need for introduction, so here we go. We’ve numbered the athletes, and included a picture of their ‘trademark.’ The hint and the picture will hopefully lead you to guess at the star. Keep track, and the answers will be at the end. Good luck!

1. He spatted his shoes (as if didn’t look quick enough?).

2. He cut off his sleeves, super short, showing those guns.

3. He was the first to wear white cleats in pro football (well, Fred Williamson of the Raiders wore ‘em, too, in ‘64).

4. Wore knee pads (or were they huge elbow pads?) around his shins.

5. One of the first to have his pants tapered, and pull his stirrups up high.

6. Before George Scott and John Olerud, he wore his batting helmet playing defense.

7. First to wear a batting glove during regular season (a golf glove, actually).

8. The first great big man wore some great big knee pads.

9. Cut those sleeves off super short (Tommy McDonald did earlier, though).

10. White tape on baseball cleats, football-style, inspired by his facemask, evidently.

11. That one wristband, way up high. And he did rise above things.

12. In the 60’s, was totally color-coordinated, even his spikes.

13. Oh, them golden slippers.

14. Combined two pair of stirrups, leading the way to the high-stirrup era.

15. Short pants and stickum-covered socks. Stickum-covered everything, actually.

16. A houndstooth hat while prowling and growling the sidelines.

17. Just how much pine tar can one helmet handle, anyway?

18. This was the Afro of Afros, or probably the most remembered.

19. Oh, that’s just a doo-rag being…

20. Now, this mustache was a real “Schwinner”. Or did he sing barbershop on the side?

21. Somehow, he seemed bjorn to wear this headband.

22. “Well, sometimes it really hurts when the center snaps that pigskin.”

23. “Afterward, let’s, like, hang out at the beach and dig for, like, clams or something.”

24. Appropriately for the classic imagery of his “plus-fours”, at his funeral the bagpiper disappeared into the early morning mist.

25. Before his big NBA contract, he couldn’t afford new socks.

26. Two words: Sunday. Red.

27. Always hit the links in all-black or black & white.

28. Playing with her, you should never be so stupid as to ask, “You’re pink, right?

29. He liked white trim: kneehighs, wristbands and a drawstring on the fly…so to speak.

30. Old lady Voorhees’ kid musta been a fan of the guy who marked the stitches he woulda had.

So, how did you do? Some of them were, admittedly, quite tough, others were easy. Here’s the answers, by picture:

Answer 1.
Answer 2.
Answer 3.
Answer 4.
Answer 5.
Answer 6.
Answer 7.
Answer 8.
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Answer 10.
Answer 11.
Answer 12.
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Answer 17.
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Answer 21.
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Answer 26.
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Answer 28.
Answer 29.
Answer 30.

And now a quick word from Paul: Anyone out there ever submit an unsolicited uniform or logo proposal to a team? If so, did you ever hear back from the team’s front office (even if only via a “No thanks” form letter), or did you get no response at all? If you’ve any sort of experience of this nature, I want to hear from you. Thanks.

I’m sure something stupider than the following statement will be uttered at some point this year. I just can’t imagine what it could be. Check this out:

[T]he decision to go back to a jersey with sleeves was again part of the effort to identify with the uniform style of the most successful Pirates teams in the organization’s history. Four of the five world championships won by the Pirates were won by players that had sleeved jerseys.

Yeah, and all of the Pirates’ championship teams wore stirrups, so I suppose you’re gonna go back to those too, right? While you’re at it, go back and see what brand of jockstrap all the players on the ’71 and ’79 World Series teams were wearing.

And people wonder why fans get cynical. I don’t have much of a problem with the Pirates ditching their vests and going back to sleeves (except for the pinstriped vest, which will still be worn for Sunday home games), but c’mon, stop coming up with asinine rationales and just say that you did it change things up a bit and increase merch sales. I’m sure most fans would rather buy a sleeved jersey instead of a vest, so you could say, “We doing it for our fans” and you wouldn’t even be lying.

Anyway, my take on the Buccos’ new uni set breaks down like this:

• New home and road jerseys: Personally, I always liked the Pirates in vests and wish they’d stuck with them, but the addition of sleeves still looks fine, and now at least we won’t have the problems with some players wearing the official patch-inclusive undersleeves and others wearing unofficial patch-free sleeves. (One tangential point of concern: Very disturbing to see Nyjer Morgan wearing solid black socks instead of stirrups. Let’s hope this was just a photo-op shortcut and not a harbinger of a change in Morgan’s hosiery habits.) Good or stupid? Good enough.

• New black alternate jersey and cap: Hate it. If you must have a black jersey, and if you really want to hearken back to your championship heritage, why not go with something like this? Plus I can’t stand that format where the insignia and the uni number don’t vertically align. Plus-plus the new alt cap so similar to the regular cap as to make no difference. Stupid.

• Keeping the pinstriped vest for Sundays: Wait, I thought the whole point of this new set was that sleeves = championships. Whatever — vests and pinstripes are a bad mix. I have a feeling this jersey will be gone for good by 2010, and they should have just gone ahead and retired it now. Stupid.

• Ditching the red vest: Addition by subtraction. Very, very good.

A team source who was present for Friday’s unveiling festivities relayed the following info to me:

Most players I spoke with liked the idea of having sleeves and said with the way each uniform can be tailored to fit, there is no loss of mobility as opposed to the free range of motion associated with the sleeveless design.

The fabric is interesting. It has a mesh texture not unlike your old-school football jerseys. It’s very stretchable and looks like it’ll breath much better than the traditional poly fabric. By the way, the fabric did not match the pants, which were traditional poly. Strange when viewed up close.

Team President Frank Connelly was very tongue-in-cheek with his introductory comments regarding the uniform change, saying (I’m paraphrasing here) “While our red vest design was extremely popular with our fans and players …” That comment got a laugh out of closer Matt Capps and others.

As you can see, there’s gonna be a lot more Cool Base fabrications this season. We’ll address the full implications of that at another time. (Additional Pirates uni info here, and there’s video of the unveiling here.)

Meanwhile, while the Pirates were unveiling their new uniforms, the Rangers were showcasing their new set (full info here, video here): One at a time:

• New letters and numbers: Overlooked in all the hubbub about the new jerseys and caps (which I’ll get to in a sec), the Rangers have introduced a new custom font that’s total shite. NOBs are gonna be illegible on the home and road jerseys, and the numerals look like they’ve got warts. All the jerseys will now use this typography. Seriously stupid.

• New home jersey: Do these Texans have an inferiority complex or what? OK, we get it, you’re from Lone Star country. Jeez. Seriously, a home jersey that doesn’t include the team name or logo is pretty weak. Stupid.

• New road jersey: Fine from the front, but you’ve got that nasty font on the back. Good tempered with a side of stupid.

• New blue alt jersey: Looks just like last year’s blue alt, right? Almost: Last year’s chest insignia had silver-gray outlining, while the new version has MLB’s favorite new design effect, beveling. Plus it’s got the same crummy typography on the back. Stupid.

• New red alt jersey and cap: Jesus H. Christ, would you people please PICK A COLOR AND STICK WITH IT?! Either your primary team color is blue or else it’s red, but it can’t be both. Just start over and use chartreuse or orange or mustard or something. Stupid.

• Ditching the alt home vest and alt road vest: Never liked the home version. Rather enjoyed the road version, but the Rangers just don’t feel like a vest-ish team, so they’re probably better off without both of these. Good.

• Changing the shoes from blue to black: You know the only reason they did this is because the blue spikes wouldn’t work with the red alt jersey. Still, whatever motives, black spikes are always the way to go (Oakland excepted, natch). Good.

• Changing the belts from blue to black: Another change that was no doubt necessitated by the introduction of the red uni set. And it’s too bad, because a blue belt would look better with all their other combos — yes, even with black spikes. Belts and shoes should always match at the office, but that rule doesn’t hold at the ballpark. Stupid.

• New batting helmet: Hahahahahahahahahaha! The great thing about this is that the Mets’ sleeve patch is no longer the worst uni element introduced this winter. I’ll have an entire ESPN column on this helmet later today (look here). Beyond stupid, more like imbecilic.

Fortunately, I was having too much fun at Saturday’s Uni Watch party to get too worked up over any of this. Speaking of which…

Party Update: Saturday’s shindig at Sheep Station was really swell — best Uni Watch party ever, I’d say. Big thanks to all who showed up (especially Ed Hahn, who came all the way from DC and took some photos that you can see here). I’ll have a full report, with lots more pictures, ether tomorrow or Wednesday.

Speaking of this week’s schedule, I’ve got three ESPN columns in the hopper (one today, a really interesting surprise topic for Wednesday, and my annual Super Bowl preview column on Friday), so I may cut back a little here on the blog — not sure yet. In any event, we’ll definitely have regular content tomorrow.

Uni Watch News Ticker: I’ve previously run photos of Richard “Batman” Wood, who got his nickname because of the logo he wore on his pads. But now Chris Markham has found a shot indicating that Wood also wore a Batman helmet decal. … Also from Chris: USFL officials wore really awful Pony-branded socks. … “Southern California” is a lot of letters to fit on a basketball jersey (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … According to this story, the Sixers will be switching to their 1982-83 uni design next season. But I’ve seen next season’s Sixers jersey, and I can tell you that it’s not quite as simple as an ’82-’83 throwback. Sorry, can’t tell you more, but I just wanted to say that the story as stated on that page isn’t quite accurate. … The Bobcats wore their checkerboard uniforms on Friday, forcing the Suns to wear white on the road. … Color vs. color: Marquette vs. DePaul on Saturday. “I had it on in the background and it took me about five minutes to look up and realize that the team in blue wasn’t Marquette — and I’m from Milwaukee,” says Karl Vierthaler. … Last Monday I linked to this article about Nile Kinnick’s old football gear. But the web version of the article didn’t include this great photo of the jersey’s inner tag (big thanks to Brad Eenhuis for mailing me the newspaper version). … Similarly, yesterday’s New York Times featured this article about the 1959 all-star benefit game for Bill Dobbyn, but the web version doesn’t include this great photo that ran in the print version. … A high school goalie in New Hampshire is trying to trick shooters by having a new pattern printed on his pads (with thanks to Justine DeCotis). … According to this column, one of the first things Eric Mangini did after being hired by the Browns was “to tear down a huge mural of the team’s Hall of Famers, a list that includes Jim Brown, Otto Graham, Paul Brown, Dante Lavelli, Marion Motley, Lou Groza and Leroy Kelly. … That wall is now painted white.” What a moron. … UNC’s women’s hoops team wore pink uniforms yesterday, in memory of Kay Yow. … And officials working the Longwood/Va.Tech game wore pink whistles (with thanks to Clark Ruhland). … Yesterday’s post included this shot of the 1950 NHL all-star jersey design, which, as Dan Richardson points out, appears to have been the inspiration for the New Westminster Salmonbellies lacrosse team’s jersey design. … “Our local high school is Georgetown-Ridge Farm High School in Illinois,” writes Joel Hackler. “For our non-major sports, the high school co-ops with another local town, Chrisman. Our mascot is the Buffalo and our colors are purple and gold, while Chrisman is the Cardinals and their colors are red and black. Since we co-op for track and cross country, our coach decided to create a new uniform. As you can see, they stick out. The logo on the front includes ‘CHS’ (for Chrisman high school) and ‘GRF’ (Georgetown-Ridge Farm). It’s hard to see, but the two sets of letters are connected with a white chain symbolizing that the two schools are connected.” That’s Joel at far left in the photo, running in the 4×100 relay. … If you go to this page and scroll down about halfway down the menu on the right, you’ll find an excellent video on how a football helmet is manufactured (with thanks to David Soline). … Badly botched NOB during Saturday’s NBA D-League game between the Anaheim Arsenal and L.A. D-Fenders: Ryan Forehan-Kelly was missing an “e” and a hyphen (good catch by Daniel Peterson). … Kari Lehtonen isn’t the first Thrashers goalie to have a Batman-themed mask. Pasi Nurminen wore Batman and the Joker on his mask in 2003-04 (thanks, Teebz). … If you start at this page from a 1967 issue of Baseball Digest and start scrolling down, you’ll see some unusual (and, I think, very unofficial) MLB team logos (with thanks to Gordon Reid). … Tris Wykes sent along some interesting scans, including Doug Flutie with his mouthguard tucked into his sock, Duane and Brent Sutter in a 1986 photo they probably regret, Bobby Orr wearing No. 27, and Chris Chelios wearing lace-up gloves and rubber bumpers on his helmet. … Kyle Oen — the man behind the awesome Vintage Minnesota Hockey site — reports a hockey/baseball crossover promotion in the offing: “This coming summer we have agreed to do a St. Paul Saints baseball jersey that celebrates the 50th Anniversary of the Minnesota Fighting Saints hockey team.” No images yet. … U.S. Pond Hockey Championships report from Jeff Barak, who writes: “Here’s a Men’s Senior team wearing old IHL Minnesota Moose jerseys. This team won the “Golden Shovel” a couple of years back as division champions. Next we have the Pond Scum, showing some of the unique numbering treatments you sometimes see (I recall a team last year that had fractions, decimals, roman numerals and even π on one of their jerseys). And then there’s District 5, wearing their plaid lumberjack flannels. I did see a few other teams wearing Ottawa 67’s barberpole-style jerseys, 1980 U.S. Olympic jerseys, AHL Iowa Stars, and some with the 1932 Boston Bruins striping pattern, plus more than one tweed jacket, but unfortunately no photos — the combination of 13º weather and a -7º wind-chill made for an unhappy five-year-old son and sucked the life out of my camera batteries.” … Reprinted from last night’s comments: In 1985, Bill Bidwill had the Cardinals wear solid-red hose (no whites), and the players protested. … Here’s something you don’t often see: the towel literally being thrown in at the conclusion of Saturday’s Mosley/Margarito bout. … Dayton wore throwbacks yesterday (with thanks to John Cristiano). … Teal vs. maroon on Saturday, as Coastal Carolina played Winthrop (with thanks to Mike Miller). … Also from Mike: “What’s wrong with this photo? That’s UW-Milwaukee wearing gold vs. Valparaiso in white. Nothing unusual, right? Except that the game is in Milwaukee (check the Brewers ads). Valpo has gold road uniforms and Milwaukee has gold home uniforms, so Valpo had to wear white on the road.” … Adam Telischak was attending the NFL Experience in Tampa sent along some shots of vintage NFL sweatshirts and this program. One thing I hadn’t noticed before: Brownie the elf has five fingers — unusual (and unacceptable!) for a cartoon character. … Lots of NHL all-star pics here. … This is pretty funny (with thanks to Ken Ocker). … Coupla Super Bowl screen grabs from Doug Keklak: First, when Jim O’Brien kicked the game-winning field goal in SB V, his chin strap was unbuckled. Anyone know if he always did this? Also, why did Jim Otto have a first initial in SB II? Was there another Otto on the Raiders? … Rafael Nadal has been wearing some brutal color combos down in Oz.

New ESPN column today — look here.

Meanwhile … I recently got a note from reader Steve K., as follows:

A friend of mine was moving and his wife made him give up his boxes of old videos. Of course he kept all the Japanese porn for himself, but he knew I was a sports fan and offered me the rest. Most of them are ‘This Week in the NFL’ and ‘Game of the Week’ episodes and a bunch of other NFL Films stuff, spanning from 1971 to about 1979. Should make for a lot of interesting screen grabs!

To call the resulting screen shots “interesting” is to severely understate the point, because Steve (who, as you’ll see in a minute, has a very good eye) has come up with a body of material that’s every bit as compelling as Ricko’s contributions. In fact, if he keeps it up, I may have to inaugurate a new “Steve K. Files” series. For now, though, here’s what we’ve got:

• “This is from 1971, Week 1, Jets at Colts,” writes Steve. “Norm Bulaich had a big game, but the more interesting part of this is that he wore an NOB jersey during parts of the game but went NNOB during other parts. The NNOB jersey appears to be an old-school pre-1970 NFL jersey with the larger numbers, because it doesn’t even allow room for a nameplate.”

• “Check out how big the nameplate font was in these shots of the Bills and Jets (1972, Week 1) and the Jets again (1973, Week 2),” notes Steve. “I believe the Jets, Bills, and Patriots, all from the AFC East, used this ultra-large font at various times during the 1971 through 1974 seasons. The Jets seemed to use it inconsistently, as some players had more normal-sized fonts than others. By 1975, this font was gone for good, although I sort of like it.”

• “In Week 1 of the 1971 season, the 49ers wore white jerseys with plain white sleeves — no stripes, no TV numbers! This was NOT their customary road jersey. Except for the Bengals (who didn’t add TV numbers until their 1981 makeover), I can’t remember another instance in the 1970s when an NFL team did not have TV numbers.”

• “Check out the letter spacing on those Browns NOBs” [and the official's picture-perfect stirrups -- PL].

• “Look at the wild rain jackets the Giants are wearing on the sidelines! That’s from 1971, Week 1.”

• “It’s a little hard to see, but here’s an FNOB being worn by the Bucs’ Maulty Moore in 1976. They also had a Manfred Moore.”

• “Here’s another FNOB: Joe Owens, from the 1973 Saints. Oddly, there were no other players named Owens on the Saints that year.”

• “A lot of the 1973 Colts had NOBs that were literally abutting the numbers, plus Doughty’s NOB looks like it may be a bit off-center.”

• “Speaking of off-center NOBs, look at Craig Morton.”

• Check out Mike Williams from the 1975 Chargers — his first name initial comes after his surname. I think I’ve only seen that one other time in the NFL (Browns during the 1981 preseason).” [This is an absolute stunner for me. Never would've believed it if Steve hadn't provided visual evidence. -- PL]

• “When the Rams played their final game in the L.A. Coliseum in 1979, one end zone said ‘Good Bye,’ the other ‘Good Luck.’”

• “Here’s Lions head coach Don McCafferty in swanky 1973 duds, including a zip collar.”

• “Halftime show at New Orleans’ Tulane Stadium in 1973. Dog was NNOB, but at
least he had stripes on his sleeves. Is that T-shirt logo big enough?”

• “I hadn’t realized Archie Manning wore a single-bar facemask.”

• “Here’s Saints coach John North from 1973, with the Sir Saint logo on his jacket.”

Amazing stuff, no? Big thanks to Steve for all this great material.

The Oracle Checks In: When I linked yesterday to this vintage basketball warm-up top and mentioned its snap-on nameplate, I was pretty sure I’d be getting a follow-up note from Rochester sporting goods maven Terry Proctor (that’s him at left). Sure enough, he sent me a note yesterday afternoon, as follows:

That photo of the Wilson warm-up jacket brings back many memories of that style. Wilson used the smaller “gripper” snaps, which made sewing the name onto the separate piece of tackle twill much easier. The only company we used that also used the gripper snaps was Russell. Powers, SandKnit and Spanjian all used the larger jacket-type “dome” snaps, which made sewing the letters on very difficult, because the foot of the sewing machine had trouble fitting around the dome. We eventually had the tags attached only at the top, for easier sewing. By the 1970s we changed from snaps to Velcro, which made the whole process a breeze.

Also: In the 1970s, the Coane Mfg. Co. of Philadelphia, which made a full line of quality uniforms (they did the Philadelphia Warriors and the early years of the 76ers) came up with a fleece tag that we sewed directly onto the jersey or jacket. Then you applied individual die-cut letters made out of the hook-sided velcro material. These letters would not fall off during play and were very easy to change if you had a new player. We used them mostly on basketball and baseball uniforms. They didn’t work out for football but they were a great idea in their day.

Terry has loads of stories like these. You might even get to read some of them if I ever get off my lazy ass and transcribe the phone interview I did with him last month. Soon, soon….

Uni Watch News Ticker: Indiana State wore powder blue throwbacks the other night. Note that the “I” is actually the shape of Indiana (with thanks to Dave Reding). … The trend of giving a personalized jersey to a newly hired coach, even though coaches don’t wear jerseys, has spread to soccer (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … Reprinted from yesterday’s comments: Amazing series of old NFL posters available here. … Trey Phillips notes that Saints receiver Lance Moore often wore one eye black sticker over the past season (but not always). … Matt Englander has brought another sports-themed illustrator to my attention: Paul Schoeneck. … Great time-lapse video showing the Winter Classic rink being set up at Wrigley Field here (with thanks to Greg Riffenburgh). … Faaaaaascinating rugby observation from Caleb Borchers who notes that the Harlequins, a club in London, wear their first and last initials on their shorts. But if there are two players with the same initials, they use the first initial and the first two letters of the players’ surnames, as in the case of Nick Evans and Nick Easter. … Vintage Riverfront Stadium groundskeeper’s uniform available here. … You know how boxers always do those cheesy stare-downs at press conferences and weigh-ins? Here’s the lamest one yet. That’s WBA flyweight champ Takefumi Sakata with the gauze mask. “On his blog, he says it is just to protect from catching a cold,” says Jeremy Brahm. “I know from personal experience that the Japanese will wear their masks while going to work, riding the bus or train, etc. I wore one over a weekend and couldn’t stand it.” … Matt Powers recently took his family down to Fordham, where his sister works in the Athletic Dept. After watching Colgate and Norfolk State play a color-on-color women’s hoops game at beautiful Rose Hill Gymnasium, they walked around the campus and saw some old framed football programs (here’s another) and this memorial to the Seven Blocks of Granite. … For a few months now there have been all these rumors about the Mets possibly going to a dark-gray alternate jersey next season. As I’ve explained to everyone who’s asked me about it, there’s no truth to this rumor — they may add some dark-gray fashion/replica merch to sell to suckers (just like every other team is doing), but the on-field attire has no significant changes for next season. Then, two days ago, I got a note from a reader who I won’t embarrass by printing his name here, breathlessly telling me that he’d just taken these photos of a dark-gray Mets jersey at a local Sports Authority outlet. I told him it was just a fashion jersey, to which he replied, “But it sells for the same $80 as the other jerseys!” After I explained to him that fashion jerseys sell for $80 and authentics sell for a shitload more, he went away, but he apparently gave the same spiel to several bloggers who pounced on the “story” (including this clown at The Daily News, who really should know better), which in turn led even more readers to write to me. So I’ll say it one more time: Contrary to what a few people apparently think, the Mets are NOT adding a dark-gray alternate jersey next season. And that’s the last time I’ll be addressing that rumor (unless it, y’know, turns out to be true or something).

Holiday Schedule: Phil will have an entry tomorrow, I’ll be back on Friday, and then Phil handle the weekend, as usual. My thanks to everyone who helped make 2008 a very good year for Uni Watch, and remember not to make any New Year’s resolutions you can’t keep.

Maybe it’s because I’m a Niners fan, maybe it’s because the San Francisco Chronicle posted a really big photo gallery, or maybe it was just a coincidence, but I spotted an unusually large number of uni-notable details in yesterday’s 49ers/Redskins game. To wit:

• Let’s start with the obvious things we always say whenever the Niners wear their throwbacks: The pants piping is too wide (just like it was back in the day), and the Reebok logo looks particularly egregious when it interrupts the sleeve stripes.

• The Niners’ throwback socks have three white stripes. So how did Joe Nedney end up with five stripes? Must’ve worn two pairs, but he did an unusually good job of getting the stripes lined up on both legs.

• Speaking of sock stripeage, the whole biker shorts thing looks particularly stupid when you’re wearing striped hose.

• Here’s something I hadn’t seen before: Vernon Davis wore red spats (and Under Armour cleats for those of you who care about that kind of thing).

• And speaking of red, the coach’s challenge flag doesn’t look quite as stupid when the coach’s team colors include red.

• Shaun Hill threw his wristbands into the crowd after the game. Anyone know if his does this on a regular basis, or was this a new thing?

• As promised, SanFran wore old-school moustaches, just like the Niners of old. Wait — what?

• And it looks like that big wooden cross will be around for a while.

Raffle Reminder: I announced the 32 winners of the holiday raffle back on Thursday. If you haven’t checked already done so, please check to see if you’re among the winners; if your name is on the list, follow the instrux to claim your prize. Thanks again to everyone for all your contributions over the past year — it’s my pleasure to give back a little something.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Haven’t run a Ticker since last Wednesday, so we’ve got lots of stuff to catch up on. I’ll skip the “As you’ve probably seen by now” proviso on all these items, but you’ve probably seen lots of them by now. … Notre Dame wore NOBs for their bowl game on Xmas Eve. According to a press release, this move “renew[ed] a tradition from the Ara Parseghian years, when Irish teams did not have names on the backs of their jerseys during the regular season but added them for bowl games.” … That game also featured one of history’s weirdest invocations of the term “golden shower.” There’s a nice screen-grab sequence of the helmet explosion here (with thanks to Jonee Eisen). … Lots of uni-notable NBA developments on Xmas Day: (1) All 10 teams playing that day wore a snowflake patch (although it was hard to see on white jerseys). (2) The Blazers and Mavs wore holiday colors (Portland was the home team). (3) The league’s normal footwear-color rules were suspended for the day, resulting in lots of special designs and red shoelaces (at least one pair of which was apparently worn untied). Or to put it another way, it was a big mish-mash. … Steve Johnston got a great Xmas gift: “My grandfather, who played football at Riverside-Brookfield High School in Illinois, passed away this past March. My parents came across some items from his playing days and got them framed for me.” … The Yomiuri Giants have unveiled a 75th-anniversary logo (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … Canada’s world junior hockey team is wearing memorial decals in honor of Luc Bourdon, who died earlier this year (with thanks to Nick Hanson). … Marcus Perkal was at the Nets/Bobcats game last Friday and noted that the Bobcats’ 5th-anniversary patch was not being worn by Gerald Wallace and Raymond Felton. … Hey, if you’re gonna steal, why not steal from the pros? That’s Central Bucks East High School in Pennsylvania (with thanks to Samantha Coren). … History’s coolest basketball warmup garb on display here (big thanks to Zac Neubauer). … Roman numeral on back. That’s Ralph Sampson III, who plays for Minnesota (with thanks to John Thompson). … Interesting article about sales figures of NHL third jerseys here (with thanks to K.C. Kless). … I didn’t watch the Real Sports year-end show. Good thing, too, cuz Bryant Gumbal wore a sportscoat that would’ve made Lindsey Nelson blush (with thanks to Brett Crane). … Check this out: Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig in Notre Dame and USC football togs, respectively. Details here (with thanks to Frank Hanney). … Last Tuesday I mentioned that this program cover featured a stylized version of the NFL logo that I’d never seen before. Now Fleer Sticker Project prexy JC Helf has devoted an entire blog entry to this logo variation. Check it out here. … Tony Caliguiri notes that Josh Gorges of the Canadiens has been wearing heavy-duty skate protectors lately. … Greg Riffenburgh notes that Dan Marino is wearing two different shoes in this shot. “That’s a standard Nike Air Zoom Barracuda Stove on his left foot, but the right shoe is a VERY high-top version of a much older Nike football cleat (and colored very differently).” Greg also notes that the Jets used to have very large TV numbers — “and in the Red Sox font, no less.” … FNOB alert: Amdy Faye of Stoke City in the Premier League (big thanks to Shane Bua). … I have no idea what this, but it looks really cool. … The Capitals retired Mike Gartner’s number last night. Video of the ceremony is available here. … Reprinted from last night’s comments: The American world junior hockey team has a player named James vanRiemsdyk — an unusual name, which makes for an unusual NOB. … Al Haris may have set a new standard yesterday for how not to wear football pants and socks. … All the following is from Phil: A high school hoops game in Detroit on Saturday night was delayed when both teams showed up in white uniforms; the only thing better than winning eleventeen gold medals is being presented with one of the NBA’s ugliest jerseys; believe it or not, Udonis Haslem’s jersey was white before he suffered this cut; it’s not often you can see color-on-color, a clear facemask, and RNOB (roman numeral on back) all in one photo; something really, really (like, REALLY) needs to be done about this.