By Phil Hecken and James Huening

The long awaited “Worst. Uni. Ever.” nominees were submitted (both in last weeks comments as well as dozens of e-mails) and now, James is ready to bring you your selections in a knock-down, drag-out poll format. After receiving literally hundreds of nominees (many of them the “usual suspects” but some we never expected), James has devised the following poll, the link to which appears below. We’ve broken them down into nine categories, the winners of which will “face-off” shortly thereafter in a cage death match to find the absolute worst of the worst, as voted by you. Sounds complicated? Not really.

Simply read James’ descriptions and the pictures of your worst uniform nominees below, as broken down by category. We’ll take the top vote-getters in each category and have them all go up against one another. So with that, lets take a look at each of the nine categories, followed by the poll. James takes it from here:

1. First up we have the Cleveland Indians and their solid red uniforms that were worn from 1974 to 1977.

2. Next are the Houston Astros‘ beloved “Tequila Sunrise” uniforms.

3. This one’s sure to be a crowd-pleaser: the New York Yankees’ venerable pinstripes.

4. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays’ original unis.

5. The 1997-2000 Anaheim Angels.

6. Finally, the 1978 San Diego Padres.

1. Our first contestant is the Buffalo Bills.

2. Joining them are the Cincinnati Bengals.

3. We go back to the dawn of the AFL for our next nominees, the original Denver Broncos uniforms, which have been on display this season as throwbacks.

4. And of course, we have the Seattle Seahawks and their new alternates.

1. Starting with the Atlanta Hawks’ 1995-99 uniforms.

2. Staying in the mid-to-late-90s, we have the Cleveland Cavaliers

3. The Detroit Pistons

4. The Houston Rockets

5. The early 90s and the Philadelphia 76ers are not to be forgotten.

6. We’ll head back to the mid/late 90s for the NBA’s two Canadian Representatives: the Toronto Raptors

7. And Vancouver Grizzlies

8. This decade is not completely off the hook, as you can see from the Washington Wizards’ recently-retired alternates.

1. We start with the Anaheim Mighty Ducks and their whimsical “Wild Wing” alternate.

2. Staying in California, but going back farther in time, the California Golden Seals had a look that seemed as though it was inspired by UCLA football.

3. Moving to the present day, we have the Atlanta Thrashers alternate.

4. Back to California for the Los Angeles Kings and their “Burger King” jersey.

5. The Nashville Predators and their mustard-colored alternate that was worn from 2001 to 2007 are up next.

6. Next, let’s see the New York Islanders and the “Gorton’s Fisherman” jersey.

7. Back down south for the Tampa Bay Lightning and their 1996-99 alternate.

8. Our only Canadian nominee in this category is the “Flying V” of the Vancouver Canucks.

9. And rounding out this category, the Phoenix Coyotes alternate some refer to as the “Picasso” sweater.

1. We’ll lead things off with the Baltimore Orioles and the orange jerseys and pants they wore for two games in 1971.

2. Joining them are the Chicago White Sox “short pajamas” that were worn in 1976. Nobody really seems to be able to agree on how many times they were worn. Most accounts have them being mothballed after a single wearing, but some say they were worn as many as four times.

3. Next up, the New York Mets and their “Mercury Mets” outfit that was worn as part of the Turn Ahead The Clock promotion in 1999.

4. The Philadelphia Phillies gave us the “Saturday Night Specials” for one game in 1979.

5. The only non-baseball nominee in this category is the Dallas Mavericks “trash bag” alternate uniform worn for a single game in 2004.

1. Starting with the American Defenders of New Hampshire whose regular uniforms feature a camouflage motif.

2. The El Paso Diablos wore yellow, pinstriped uniforms with red pillbox caps in the early 1980s.

3. Our final nominee here is the 1980 Tuscon Toros According to an account I read, the back of the jersey was turquoise.

1. First, we’ll have a look BYU football’s 1999 redesign

2. Next up, we have Florida A&M football

3. Turning to basketball, NC State’s “leotard” experiment makes an appearance.

4. It wouldn’t be a worst uni poll without Oregon football’s “diamondplate” mix & match set.

5. We’ll close out this category with a pair of football teams dressed from head to toe (or head to knee, at least) in orange: Syracuse

6. And UTEP.

1. First, we have the Caribous of Colorado from the NASL. Their innovative jerseys featured fringe.

2. The early days of MLS gave us the Kansas City Wiz (who later became the Wizards).

3. Our third and final soccer nominee is Team USA for their 1994 World Cup unis.

1. From the CFL’s south-of-the-border expansion days are the Memphis Mad Dogs.

2. The Orlando Rage represent Vince McMahon’s XFL.

3. And we’ll wrap things up with another nominee from Orlando, the 1991-92 Orlando Thunder.

On to the poll then: GO HERE FOR THE WORST UNIFORM EVER NOMINATIONS POLL.

Thanks again to James Huening for working on this and for coming up with the poll format. We’ll keep the nomination poll open for a week, and have the “playoffs” for the worst ever uni shortly after that. Thanks in advance for your participation!!!

5. Texas/Oklahoma State — A real orange bowl, eh?

4. Tulane/LSU — Green Wave a little too green, but that light blue redeems them.

3. Temple/Navy — A wise old owl didn’t need to tell me to add this to the list.

2. UCLA/Oregon State — My color palette special of the day.

1. Ole Miss/Auburn — Nothing scary about this Halloween matchup at all.

And the worst matchup of the day: San Jose State/Boise State– At least the field looked nice…

More Mongo

Still More Mongo

Remember, Mongo only pawn in game of life.

Happy Halloween matchups.

5. Miami, Fla./Wake Forest

4. Cincinnati/Syracuse

3. Grambling…uh, I mean Georgia/Florida

2. S. Carolina/Tennessee

1. Coastal Carolina/Clemson

Spooky…thanks, Jim.

Good stuff there. Thanks to Jim & Rick & James & Mike and everyone else along the way. Don’t forget to vote for the WORST UNI EVER nominees. You can even post your guesses as to who you think the nine finalists will be in the comments, if you want.

And for all you uniform designers, and wanna-be designers, if you missed yesterday’s column, be sure to check it out — a chance for you to design a baseball uniform, logo and cap!

One legacy game today: Titans (Jets) versus Dolphins — should be cool to see the fish in something other than dropshadow for a change — you’ll be reminded how good they once looked, and could look again, if they wanted to make that look permanent. Game IV of the World Series tonight. Don’t forget to push your clocks back, if you haven’t already! That extra hour of sleep is so awesome, no? Of course it is.

Everyone have a great Sunday!

[Editor's Note: Today we have a guest entry from Thomas weeks, who had a remarkable uni-related encounter on the streets of New York last week. -- PL]

By Thomas Weeks

I’ve always been a fan of hard work. For that reason, the only two NHL players whose jerseys I own are Adam Graves’s and Jed Ortmeyer’s.

I don’t need to tell you anything about Graves, but you might not know too much about Ortmeyer. In five-plus seasons, he’s scored 15 goals, but he’s a hard worker who kills penalties and never gives up. He was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism in August of 2006 but returned to the Rangers lineup just four months later. The following season he was a finalist the season following his embolism for the NHL’s Bill Masterson Memorial Trophy, given for dedication to the game. He’s also been honored by the Rangers by twice winning the Steven McDonald Extra Effort Award, for outstanding commitment and hard work on and off the ice.

For these reasons, I purchased a Jed Ortmeyer #41 Rangers home jersey. He even signed it for me, at an event for Rangers advertising sponsors that I happened to get tickets for. This has been one of my favorite jerseys to wear to Madison Square Garden.

After wearing my Ortmeyer jersey to last Thursday’s Rangers/Devils tussle, I was walking out of the Garden when I was approached by a group of Swedish tourists. They spoke in half-broken English, but I barely made out one of them saying, “I would like to trade my sweater for yours. My name is Ortmeyer.”

He was wearing an authentic Frolunda Indians sweater (the team Henrik Lundqvist played for before he was drafted by the Rangers), with sponsor patches and all. I had no second thoughts. I took my jersey off right there on Seventh Ave. and handed it to a complete stranger. We thanked each other in our own languages and draped our new sweaters over our heads.

Like Jed Ortmeyer, I too pride myself on hard work and making good decisions. I hope I have made that man named Ortmeyer as happy as the man named Jed Ortmeyer made me.

And yet, and yet. As we cooked throughout the afternoon, it occurred to me that the Oreos seemed a bit lonely in their sterile plastic package while the rest of the food was basically having a party on the grill. Why not let the Oreos join the party? Why not indeed. I took two of the cookies out of the package and placed them on one of the grills, where they fit in just fine. Then I put the lid back on the grill and went to find myself another beer.

About three minutes later, the Oreos were hot and slightly soft, and the creme feeling had developed a nicely caramelized edge. I tried one of them — deeeee-lish. Sweet with a smoky undercurrent, mmmmm. I offered the second cookie to one of the other tailgaters and rushed to put a few more Oreos on the grill.

Soon I was being hailed as a genius, and we were running low on Oreos. Which just goes to show that anything tastes better when it’s fresh off the grill.

Membership Update: Birthday boy Scott Turner just whipped up a bunch of cool new membership designs. In addition to Dan Bardin’s Blackhawks Winter Classic throwback, shown at right, this batch also includes two orange alternates — Orioles and Dolphins — our first Kansas City Scouts design, and Ed Westfield Jr.’s odd choice of infinity as a uni number.

As always, you can see the full gallery of membership cards here and sign up to get your own card here.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Virginia Tech will be wearing this orange-centric outfit for tonight’s game against UNC. … I’ve written several times about the pinned-on uni numbers in the 1934 All-Star Game (if you want the full story, begin here and then go to the “Cold Case File Revisited” section of this column), and now Don Sherman has come up with some photos I hadn’t seen before — look here and here. … Good white-at-home article here (with thanks to Craig Friday). … Faaascinating article about an old Negro Leagues stadium in New Jersey here (major thanks to Baroness Karen McBurnie). … Good breakdown of NBA team names backstories, with some swell photos to boot, here (with thanks to Tom Griffith). … Excellent piece on the mud used to rub up baseballs here (with thanks to Matthew Keegan). … NHL.com is celebrating the 50th anniversary of Jacques Plante wearing the first goalie mask with a series of articles on mask history. The first installment is here, and be sure to check out all the additional multimedia links — good stuff (with thanks to Michael Blinn). … The All Blacks have been told to cover up their tats for a match in Japan (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … Super-cool optical illusion on display here (nice find by Kirsten). … Reprinted from yesterday’s comments: Great home movie footage from a 1952 WVU/Wash. & Lee game — with both teams wearing solid-color uniforms — here. … Dylan Buell’s local coffee shop held a dog costume contest. One guy had a dog named Tressel, so he dressed him as Jim Tressel, and another guy dressed his dog as a Maple Leaf (here’s the view from the other side). … Utah will be wearing black uniforms this Saturday (with thanks to Chris Buttgen). … New hoops uniforms for South Carolina. There’s some video footage of the new designs in action here. … Zak Koval has spotted a little bracelet being worn by Lamar Odom and Luke Walton. Definitely not a Livestrong. Maybe titanium? Anyone know more? … Amazing behind-the-back football pass here (with thanks to Brandon Creeger). … Dozens of cool old Phils/Yanks photos in this slideshow (nice find by Douglas Hirschman). … Scott Turner notes that the base of the “P” decal on the Phillies’ batting helmets extends all the way down to where the brim meets the rest of the helmet. Never noticed that before. … As many, many readers noted, Cliff Lee was once again squatchee-free last night. … The Heat retired Tim Hardaway’s number last night.

As most of you know, I’ve been trying to compile a visual catalog of hockey red line designs. It’s an interesting project, because the blue lines are always solid blue, but red line styles are all over the map. It’s sort of a stealth design element on the sports landscape.

How did we end up with such a multiplicity of red line designs? A hint comes from reader Matthew Clement, who recently sent me the following note:

The red lines were originally broken up with white in order to differentiate the red line from the blue line on black and white TVs. Perhaps this is common knowledge, but I only figured it out last year when Montreal played in Colorado and the local sports station broadcast the second period in black-and-white as a tribute to the old days of hockey.

I had never thought about that, but it makes perfect sense. Interestingly, now that we live in a color TV world, some red lines have gone back to solid red. You can see that in some of the photos linked in the following alphabetical list of arenas, which features all of the current NHL rinks along with some minor league and college facilities. I’ve tried to show current designs as much as possible, although I probably missed the mark in a few cases. And that’s fine — I’m mostly interested in showing the range of red line possibilities, past and present.

So:

• Air Canada Centre (Toronto): Checked.

• American Airlines Center (Dallas): Red stars on a white background. A few years ago it was checked.

• BankAtlantic Center (Sunrise, Florida): The home of the Panthers uses white panther pawprints on a red background (here’s another view), which is a reverse-field version of their previous design.

• Bell Centre (Montreal): Checked.

• General Motors Place (Vancouver): A diagonal check.

• Giant Center (Hershey, Pennsylvania): The home of the Hershey Bears is using little white Calder Cup outlines on a red background. You can see the arena’s crew actually creating the red line in this video clip.

• Gwinett Center (Duluth, Georgia): This is the home of the ECHL’s Gwinett Gladiators, so the red line features little white gladiator swords.

• Honda Center (Anaheim): This season they’re going with large, inward-pointing white arrows. But in the past they’ve had smaller outward-pointing arrows (or are those supposed to be duck footprints?), interlocking triangles (additional views here and here), and solid red.

• HP Pavilion (San Jose): Checked.

• HSBC Arena (Buffalo): Checked.

• Jobing.com Arena (Phoenix): Worst arena name ever, but I really like their northwestern-striped red line.

• Joe Louis Arena (Detroit): Checked>

• Kohl Center (Madison, Wisconsin): This year it’s white diamonds on a red backgound. Last year it was target circles.

• Madison Square Garden (New York City): Checked.

• Mellon Arena (Pittsburgh): White diamonds on a red background.

• Nassau Coliseum (Uniondale, New York): Checked.

• Nationwide Center (Columbus): Lots and lots of little white stars. A few years back it was a simple checked treatment.

• Olympic Center (Lake Placid): When the Miracle on Ice took place in 1980, the red line featured red diamonds on a white background>

• OSU Ice Rink (Columbus): White stars on a red background. That’s the fourth design in as many years, because the past three seasons have featured white parallelograms (2008-09), block “O” logos (2007-08), and solid red (2006-07).

• Pengrowth Saddledome (Calgary): Diagonal checks. Used to be standard rectangular checks.

• Pepsi Center (Denver): White diamonds on a red background.

• Philips Arena (Atlanta): Remember that row of arrowheads that used to run along the bottom of the Thrashers’ jerseys? They’re not on the jerseys anymore, but they’re still on the red line.

• Prudential Center (Newark, New Jersey): Checked.

• RBC Center (Raleigh, North Carolina): Black dots on the red background, just like their lower-jersey pattern. Used to be solid red.

• Rexall Place (Edmonton): Red diamonds on a white background.

• St. Pete Times Forum (Tampa): White lightning bolts on a red background.

• Scotiabank Place (Ottawa): Checked. Used to have a different design, although I can’t make out what it was.

• Scottrade Center (St. Louis): Solid red.

• Sommet Center (Nashville): Looks like it’s diagonally checked. Used to be solid red. And I’m not sure what was going on here — are those diamonds?

• Staples Center (Los Angeles): Checked, but it used to be solid red.

• Tate Rink (West Point, N.Y.): The home rink of the Army hockey team uses white stars on a red background.

• TD Garden (Boston): This year they’re going with lots of small white diamonds on a red background. Other designs in recent years have included solid red, checked, and a modified checked pattern in which the white checks alternated with spoke-B logos. I’m not positive, but I think the white checks have also been shaped like the NHL shield.

• United Center (Chicago): Last year solid red, this year long rectangular checks.

• Verizon Center (Washington, DC): When the Caps play, it’s white stars on a red background. But they apparently use a more conventional treatment for non-Caps games.

• Wachovia Center (Philadelphia): Three parallel red lines.

• Winnipeg Arena (Winnipeg): Back when the Jets were still playing, the red line was more white than red.

• World Arena (Colorado Springs): Three red parallel lines.

• Xcel Energy Center (St. Paul): Long, rectangular checks.

And that’s it for now. Do you know of other designs floating around out there? Let’s have ’em.

And it seems to me that we have a few questions worth answering:

1) Is Matthew Clement’s info about white-checked red lines being a response to black-and-white TV accurate? If so, were red lines routinely solid red in the pre-TV era?

2) And if that turns out to be true, which was the first team to go with a non-solid red line?

3) Were there any solid-red holdouts, even in the black-and-white TV era?

4) Which team was the first to use a non-checked design?

I love this — more than 10 years’ after Uni Watch’s debut, we’re just now exploring a whole new branch on the athletics aesthetics tree.

(Big thanks to everyone who contributed photos and info, including Daron Jones, Rob Leavell, Kyle Speicher, Jeff Emhuff, J.D. Vercett, Mike Vanne, Ryan Yanoshak, Rich Canulli, Jon Strauss, David Kendrick, Philip Krawec, Matt Hiett, Mike Bielen, Zak Kapotes, Michael Kearney, Vincent Vignola, Kevin Zdancewicz, Nicole Haase, and Bryan Grupp.)

Culinary Corner: I don’t drink coffee — never learned to like the taste. But I love the smell of coffee, I love coffee ice cream, I love coffee shakes and malts, I love coffee milk (the official state drink of Rhode Island, don’tcha know), I even like making coffee for Kirsten in the morning. Basically, I like everything about coffee except coffee.

Maybe that explains why I like instant espresso powder so much. I’m told it makes crappy espresso, but that doesn’t matter because that’s not what I use it for. Here’s what I do with it:

• I put about a 1/4-cup of it in my brownie batter, thereby transforming my brownies into mochies. (This pretty much works with any chocolate-based baking recipe — cupcakes, cookies, frostings, whatever.)

• I dust it on ice cream, where it provides a nice bitter counterpoint and a hint of micro-granular texture. (Kirsten actually keeps some in a salt shaker for this purpose.)

• I put a few tablespoons of it into the spice rub I use for steak, pork, and chicken. Adds a complex undercurrent to the proceedings.

I’ve read that espresso powder is also good in stews, but I haven’t tried that yet (maybe this weekend). Anyway, just get some and mess around with it — it’s surprisingly versatile, sort of like Joe McEwing.

Uni Watch News Ticker: As a few thousand of you informed me yesterday, Maryland and South Carolina will be wearing camouflage-accented uniforms (and cleats!) for their games on Nov. 14th (not against each other), as a post-Veterans Day gesture. Lots of additional info and photos here, here, here, and here. … Packers kicker Mason Crosby went to high school in Georgetown, Texas — which, as it happens, uses the same helmet logo as the Pack (good spot by Ken Singer). … What’s worse than a lacrosse team dressed in pink? An opposing team dressed in lime green plaid (blame Jim Atherton). … Latest step in Nike’s nefarious world-domination scheme: a robot that graffitis the roadway (thanks, Kirsten). … Yesterday I said that the Broncos’ yellow striping looked like the lone color element in an otherwise black-and-white photo. Nathan Haas decided to take that concept literally. … Best Halloween costume ever? (As submitted by my ESPN colleague Dave Schoenfield.) … Remember this photo of Boomer Esiason with a No. 63 helmet? Steve King says it was a tribute to veteran Bengals tackle Joe Walter, who was waived during that season. Esiason also wrote the number on his helmet with a marker. … Who’s that in the helmet hat? It’s Doug Keklak’s brother, with a young Kek himself in the background, circa early 1980s. … Expect to see lots of Kinesio tape in Boston this season (with thanks to AJ Chalifour). … “While at the farmers’ market in Los Angeles, I happened upon a small exhibit in a glass case about Gilmore Field (home of the Hollywood Stars) and Gilmore Stadium,” writes Patrick Woody. “Both buildings were located adjacent to the Market, and Gilmore Stadium sat on the site of what is currently CBS Television City. Anyway, there were some cool items in the case. Sadly, there were no Stars shorts.” … Mark Maxwell says this poster has been appearing on campus at Ohio University — looks like an upgrade from last year’s road uni. … “Not sure what this is, but it was on the camera in the dugout during Yanks/Halos,” says Matt Harris. … “Meet the Raiders of Rider High School in Wichita Falls, Texas,” writes Andy McNeel. “You’ll notice the gorgeously simple and strong ‘ROHO’ logo on their helmets, which stands for ‘Ride On, Honorable Ones.’” … Andy also sent along this photo — note the unusual NOB. “It makes my brain hurt to try to think about what ‘P.R.I.D.E.’ stands for, or why it deserves NOB status,” he says. “I swear, all of these high schools are within about a 70-mile radius of Wichita Falls. Fans of uniform oddity-watching (much like bird watching) need only go to Wichita Falls on any given Friday night, point their wagons any which direction toward any given set of stadium lights on the horizon, and they will not be disappointed.” … The term “in perpetuity” is almost never a good thing, but it seems particularly depressing here. … Here’s another high school that uses Bucco Bruce — with one slight modification, as Matt Lanzoff explains: “I attended that school in the late ’90s and was a junior the year of Columbine massacre. In the wake of that incident, the school chose to remove the sword from the logo (in order to fight school violence) but keep Bruce.” … And here’s a college that uses Bucco Bruce. Background, from Ben Teaford: “In fact, they got into trouble with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers over the use of the logo. Tampa Bay told them they couldn’t use it anymore, so the school’s president challenged Tampa to a game to decide who got to use the logo. Tampa refused the challenge and soon after changed their logo. I remember reading about it in Sports Illustrated at the time (just one of those small blurbs towards the front).” This account is confirmed in the fifth graf here.

You ignored it before, you can ignore it again: I’ve put another big batch of old indie and punk singles up on eBay, including some serious rarities. You know what to do.

My recent ESPN column about goalie pads prompted an interesting note from Mark Coale. “I was listening to HNIC radio the other day and they said goalie pads next season will be based on the goalies’ individual measurements,” he wrote. “They said former goalie and now league employee Kay Whitmore will spend the season going around and getting metrics on every goalie, so things will be custom-made for next year.”

This was news to me, so I went back to Tyler Hull, who works for Bauer and is the guy who provided me with all the info for that ESPN column to begin with. Here’s his very informative response:

Mark is correct. In 2003 the league limited the size of a goalie pad to 38 inches high, but goalies can use that size any way they want. Pads are measured from the inside of your ankle to your knee and then from your knee to the top of your thigh, so goalies often add “thigh rise” (i.e., extra pad) to the top to get to the 38-inch limit if they want them that high. A shorter goalie might use a 33+5 pad, or a taller goalie might use 37+1, depending on the original size of the pad and how tall the goalie is (or at least how long his legs are). The end result is that Chris Osgood and Steve Valiquette end up using the same size pad, even though one of them is 5′11″ and the other one is 6′5″.

That’s just plain goofy, so starting next year goalies will be required to use pads that are measured and fitted to them by the NHL. It won’t be a big change for the bigger guys, but smaller goalies who’ve been using bigger pads will feel the crunch.

Faaaaascinating. On the one hand, this makes sense: Smaller goalie, smaller pads. On the other hand, a shorter goalie already has a built-in disadvantage, since there’s literally less of him to cover the net, and now that shorter goalie will have the bonus disadvantage of having less pad coverage. Hmmmm — discuss.

Culinary Corner: I’m going to let you in on a little secret today, people. It’s such a good secret, you won’t believe you never thought of it yourself. It’s such a good secret, you won’t believe it isn’t available on supermarket shelves. It’s such a good secret, you won’t believe it hasn’t become the basis for a national restaurant chain.

It’s a really good secret.

The secret is this: When you’re heating up maple syrup for your pancakes, waffles, or French toast, spike it with an ounce or two of bourbon.

It’s so simple, so obvious, and soooooo good. Most of the alcohol vaporizes as you heat up the syrup, so the end result isn’t overly boozy — it just imbues the syrup with that great bourbon flavor and complexity.

You can try the same thing with other whiskeys, or with rum, but I’ve found bourbon works best. It doesn’t blend in properly unless you heat up the syrup, so don’t be lazy about that. And don’t bother adding bourbon to non-maple syrups like Aunt Jemima or Mrs. Butterworth — nothing can make those taste good.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Hey, speaking of food, check out this class I’ll be taking on Saturday. Guess what T-shirt I’ll be wearing. … The Broncos players who Twizzler-twisted their sock stripes on Sunday will not be fined. … Some additional images have been added to Mako Mameli’s collection of screen shots from Showtime’s AFL history series. I especially love the Raiders’ shield-themed yard markers and red sideline hashmarks. … Also from Mako: More info on Maurice Jones-Drew’s number and NOB. … Chris Mitchel recently visited the prison museum at the state penitentiary in Anamosa, Iowa. “They had a collection of some sweet prison baseball and football team photos, some of which you can see here,” he says. “There are also some cool other pictures of various uniforms worn by the inmates (sorry, ‘offenders,’ per the warden). Stripes are not the only pattern used.” … Nike is exploiting honoring the 100th anniversary of UNC hoops by producing a series of throwback replicas, including the red-trimmed jersey and shorts (with thanks to Jordan Woodson). … The horror, the horror (postgame shot courtesy of John Romero). … Rick Ankiel was cleaning out his locker yesterday — including an Adrian Peterson jersey (as spotted by Ben Traxel). … On Saturday Kirsten and I attended a very special party where, among other things, we were forced to don rabbit ears and pose alongside a giant bunny, which was even more terrifying than it appears in the photos. … Amazing Charleston Charlies jersey available here (great find by Dan Cichalski). … Cliff Lee didn’t have the blue squatchee on his cap last night (as noted by sharp-eyed Jay Fanelli). … Hey, remember Frozen Coke? No, of course you don’t. Ricko doesn’t even remember it, and he’s eleventeen hundred years old. But if you did remember it, you might also remember this (major find by Brinke Guthrie). … The Bunkie (La.) High School chain gang has some, uh, unique uniforms, complete with NOBs (with thanks to Chris LaHaye). … Hmm, subtle. … Braylon Edwards, making his Jets debut, went double-sock-striped last night. … There’s a guy out there who’s making super-cool hand-crafted footballs. Further details here (with thanks to Bill Austin). … Get better soon, Bizkit.

Bruce Menard recently informed me that the folks at Heritage Auction Galleries have a ton of good stuff in their current auction catalog. Here’s a sampling:

• According to the auction listing, Robin Roberts wore this throwback replica while throwing out the first pitch at the 1976 All-Star Game. I’ve never heard about this before. Anyone know more?

• Totally digging the typography on this 1929 World Series program cover. And dig that little bear!

• And speaking of World Series programs, here’s a doozy.

• Here’s a rarity: A Pro Bowl helmet from the days when the players wore conference-specific headgear.

• Love all the quote-marked nicknames in this poster.

• I’m always a sucker for these college all-star uniforms. Rare to see one that includes the pants and the helmet. And man, those “4″s!

• Oh man, check out these killer Giants programs. Interesting uni note: Check out the shin of the Jints player in the lower-right illo — looks like he has a pad under his sock.

• Oh, for the days when the Bears played a beer-sponsored team.

• When I was at the National in Cleveland a few months ago, one of the most drool-inducing items I saw was this Tulsa Oilers hockey jersey. Here it is, up for auction.

• Never seen anything like this Ottawa Senators jacket or this Blackhawks jacket.

• Also new to me: This amazing Red Wings cardigan, with a white version to boot. Looks like they have the American flag facing the wrong way on the left sleeve, though.

• Remember the barber pole design that the Blackhawks wore in the Winter Classic? Here’s the original. But I think I like this design even better.

• If you’ve been wondering what to get me for my half-birthday (coming up next Monday, don’tcha know), this jacket wouldn’t be a bad place to start.

• Worst hockey jersey ever? Eh, close enough.

• Best hockey program cover ever? Eh, close enough.

• Lots of great ticket stubs on offer, including tix from the 1971 World Series, the ’51 Series, the ’57 Series, the 1962 Mets home opener, and more.

• Gorgeous hockey officiating sweaters here and here

• Not sure what this has to do with sports, but it sure is purty.

Want to see more? You can download the auction catalog as a PDF here.

And look, there are still a few hairs I haven’t pulled out: My Earthlink e-mail finally appears to be behaving, so forget about the alternate address I’ve been using for the past few days and go back to my usual addresses. And please keep your fingers crossed.

About Time: Big congrats to Jerry Dior, who’s finally been recognized as the designer of the MLB logo. He’ll be honored on the field at Yankee Stadium today and at Shea on Friday. I’ve written about Jerry several times (to see those columns, look here and here) and have always been impressed by what a gentleman he is — a class act all the way. I’m glad he’s finally gotten the recognition he deserves.

Research Reminder: My thanks to everyone who contributed thoughts, anecdotes, and historical notes regarding football gloves yesterday. If you have anything to contribute that would help document the history and culture of this largely overlooked uni element, don’t be shy.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Hadn’t noticed until now that Wisconsin is using those rounded-corner nameplates. Good view of them in the next-to-last photo in this gallery (as spotted by Ben Simon). … According to the fourth graf of this story, the Predators’ new alt jersey includes “a dark checkerboard pattern that can only be seen at close range” (with thanks to Nick Church). … You may know that Chad Ochocinco wore gold shoes and gold gloves on Sunday, but did you know he also had two fingers taped together? Never seen a receiver do that before. Anyone have any insights? (As spotted by Bob Wilzbach.) … Lenny Dykstra, financial genius. … A freelance designer is suing NYU for allegedly stealing her logo design. … Now that’s a helmet (with thanks to David Cline). … New Irish national rugby kit (with thanks to Joe Alvernaz). … Colorado will be wearing 1937 throwbacks this weekend. Additional info here, and there’s a photo gallery here. … Dave Forbes notes that Jeff Garcia previously wore No. 7 with the Eagles but will have to take a different number in Philly this time around because Michael Vick is now wearing No. 7. … Corey Zoldan reports that the following note appeared in the U. of Maryland school paper: “The [baseball] team will be ditching its red and yellow jerseys in favor of pinstripes, because [coach] Bakich wants to be able to sell future recruits on the opportunity to ‘play in the Terrapin pinstripes.’” Uh, right. … What’s worse than an Argentine soccer team with Walmart-sponsored jerseys? An Argentine soccer team with Walmart-sponsored socks, which must surely qualify as a new low for civilization (with thanks to Dario Moretti, writing all the way from South America). … We’ve talked several times over the years about the ribbed seams found on some Bears’ linemen’s shoulder areas. Now Aaron Schlesinger notes that the Eagles appear to be doing something similar. … Hey look, it’s minor league hockey. And the refs are wearing those stupid orange sleeve stripes that debuted during last season’s all-star game. … Good article about Vanderbilt’s merit decals here (with thanks to Lee Wilds). … Last week’s New Yorker featured two cartoons — appearing on facing pages! — that were very Ticker-worthy.

Highest Recommendation: I have a good friend — let’s call him Jim — who I’ve known for over a decade. Jim is a trained engineer and an experienced manager who’s particularly strong on strategy, marketing, product development, and finance. I’ve never met Jim’s parents, but they sure must have raised him right, because Jim is — and I’m not exaggerating here — the nicest, most congenial, most stand-up guy I’ve ever known. Really. In other words, he’s as much of an asset in the clubhouse as his is on the field.

Jim is currently between jobs. I can say with absolute certainty that he’d be a major plus for any company. If you’d like to see his résumé and some position papers he’s written, please get in touch and I’ll send them to you. Thanks.

At the risk of having Teebz cross me off of his Christmas card list, I have to admit that my knowledge of NHL jersey patches is somewhat less than encyclopedic. But that may change now that John Muir has pointed me toward NHL Patches, a site devoted to, um, what was the name of the site again? Right.

There’s tons of good stuff documented here. Did you know, for example, that the Red Wings wore a war bonds patch during WWII? Or that the Bruins celebrated their 50th anniversary with a really creepy-looking bear?

You could waste a whole day clicking through the site. Fortunately for you, I’ve already done that, so here are some highlights, in roughly chronological order:

• Never seen an egg shaped sports patch before.

• And speaking of unusual shapes, I really like the shape and alignment of the Flames’ 10th-anniversary patch.

• Several teams have worn Olympics-based patches over the years, including the Canadiens, Sabres, Islanders, and Flames. Canadian teams have also promoted the Canada Games.

• I love — love — this Edmonton 75th-anniversary patch design. The following year, the Oilers wore a similar patch for the province of Alberta, but the design wasn’t as good.

• When the Red Sox wore the Massachusetts bicentennial patch, it was rendered in Red Sox colors. But the Bruins wore it in Bruins colors.

• You know how stores and businesses will proudly say how they’re “family-owned”? So did the Red Wings, in the early 1980s. Never seen anything like that. (Ten years later, the Wings celebrated their 60th anniversary with a direct-embroidered design instead of a patch — unusual.)

• Something else I’d never seen: a patch honoring disabled people.

• Somehow this Whalers 10th-anniversary patch is perfectly in keeping with the team’s endearingly simple graphics program. Awesome!

• I really like the color-coordination of these simple memorial patches.

• I knew about the Leafs’ King Clancy patch. But I didn’t know they’d worn heart disease patch that same season.

• Man, that is one busy patch design.

• Now that’s an all-star patch!

• Very interesting to see that that Harold Ballard’s memorial patches had his name rendered in white-on-white and blue-on-blue — a posthumous nod to his infamous color-on-color NOB stunt, perhaps?

• Speaking of the Leafs, here’s probably the best stadium/arena patch I’ve ever seen (much better than the one they wore a few years later).

• Very nice, very simple — I like.

• Here’s an oddity: The Flames celebrated their 15th season in Calgary with a small design direct-embroidered on their shirttail.

• The 1995 All-Star Game patch was supposed to look like this (excellent concept, not so sure about the execution). But that game was never played, because of the lockout. San Jose got to host the next ASG, but the patch design was revised to look like this.

• Here’s an excellent look at all the millennium patches from the 1999-2000 season.

• And I’m saving the best for last: quite possibly the coolest patch design ever. Wow.

There’s more, mostly from the last decade, but I’ll let you explore those for yourself. Just don’t blame me if you don’t get anything else done today.

In case you didn’t notice the new ad on the left: You can now access all of the Naming Wrongs shirts from this page, and I don’t mind saying I think they look pretty damn nifty. Collect ’em all, buy lots for your friends, etc. (and big thanks to those of you who’ve already rung the cash register on this one).

Seriously, you won’t even know what hit you: I spent the weekend putting the finishing touches on the Mets-centric uniform quiz I’ll be conducting tomorrow night, 7pm, at Two Boots. It’s gonna be a doozy — I’ve got 25 questions with a total of 32 answers (i.e., some questions are “Name the three players who did blah-blah-blah”), and I’ll be impressed if anyone has more than 10 correct responses, although I’ll be very pleased if I’m proven wrong on that account. The prize will be a copy of Keith Hernandez’s new book, Pardon Me While I Snort the Third Base Line Shea Goodbye, and the book’s co-author, Matt Silverman, will be one of the other Two Boots speakers, so he can autograph it for the winning contestant on the spot. I’ll also have plenty of “I’m Calling It Shea” tees to sell, natch. See you there.

Uni Watch News Ticker: The Astros will wear lunar landing caps tonight (as reported by Maury Brown). … Check out this shot of the 1891 WVU football team! Love that little awning over the window on the building in the background (big thanks to Jason Bernard). … Awesome Chargers throwback slideshow — including throwback cheerleader uniforms! — available here. … Tommy Murray was at Magic Kingdom and stopped in for a bite at Casey’s, where the staffers wore baseball uniforms, including stirrups. … Marty Hick found a bunch of old indoor soccer uni drawings that he did as a kid. “My favorite parts are the collars, and the trendy indoor soccer shoes of the day.” Naturally, my favorite part is the socks. … New kits for Inter Milan. Further info here (with thanks to B. Mitchell. … Lots of cool old photos of the U. of Minnesota’s Memorial Stadium (with thanks to Tris Wykes). … Is there really a high school team called the Nikes? Yeesh (with thanks to Steven Wojtowicz). … As most of you probably know by now, Dwyane Wade has switched from Converse to Jordan. And as goes Wade, so goes his alma mater. … Some info on Nebraska’s basketball uniforms here (with thanks to David McGee). … Good roundup of the latest Premier League uniforms here. … Best photos yet of the new New Mexico football unis here (big thanks to Rob Montoya). … Really interesting video about the history of corporate logo design here (great find by Matthew Robins). … Interesting note from Tyler Kepner, who writes: “Had a great time at the McCartney concert at the Mets’ ballpark on Friday night and couldn’t help noticing a Detroit Red Wings sticker on the guitar he used while playing ‘Yesterday.’ I googled it and came across some sites that said a fan gave it to him in 1976. Maybe he liked it for the ‘Wings’ connection. Anyone know the real story?” … Ben Teaford notes that there’s a lot of orange in the logo for the groundbreaking on the Marlins’ new stadium (yes, even groundbreakings have logos now). “I also saw a video of the groundbreaking with people wearing orange shirts. Is this a hint of things to come or just an odd choice?” Hmmm. … More pics of those tuxedo jerseys here (with thanks to Paul Barrett. … Aaron Johnson reports that there was a Royals Hall of Fame game in KC on Friday. Participants wore the team’s current powder blue alternate jersey and matching pants and caps. Looks like they had a Royals HoF sleeve patch, too. … Some really interesting photos of keirin (Japanese short-track cycling) here (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … Here’s the new Celtic road kit (gracias to James Chaney). … Check out the Hannibal (Missouri) Cavemen, a summer league team that wears very nice northwestern-striped stirrups (big thanks to Bob Southon).

By Phil Hecken … with Dave Ribar and Mike Engle

In yet another interesting bit of serendipity, last weekend’s “What Is Your Uni Secret?” column generated so much ‘buzz,’ I was approached, separately, by two readers, both of whom had remarkably similar ideas. Inspired by the ‘guilty pleasure’ of liking a uniform which generally meets with disdain and ridicule on these boards, both Dave Ribar and Mike Engle emailed me with their thought that a fun column might be basically the opposite of the guilty uniform secret — that being, a uniform which is generally lauded and loved by the UW readership, but which they secretly detest. I’ll let each explain, based on their E-mail contact with me. We’ll start with Dave Ribar who first approached me with the idea:

I enjoyed your Saturday topic of guilty pleasures. I thought it was a great weekend discussion topic — something simple and light that kept the comments section flowing.

That got me to thinking. Maybe you already have this planned, but it would be interesting to devote a future weekend post to the anti-guilty pleasure uniform. I don’t know what you would call it (Emperor Has No Uni?), but it’s the case where you dislike a uniform that nearly everyone else considers a classic. Maybe you hate the entire uniform, or maybe there is just one detail that drives you crazy and ruins the whole thing. To set some rules, the reason for disliking the uni should be uni-based (none of this “I hate the Yankees uniforms because I’m a Red Sox fan” – that adds nothing to the conversation). Another rule would be that the uniform must be considered great by a clear majority.

Next was Mike Engle, who ’spearheaded’ last weekend’s guilty pleasure column. His E-mail to me was as follows, slightly more concise, but the exact same sentiment:

How about a jersey we’re afraid to say anything bad about?

And with that, both of these fine gentlemen proceeded to launch into diatribes bemoaning one or more uniforms. Since Dave approached me first, we’ll get to his selections momentarily. But he wanted to give us this small taste of a biography: “As for me, I’ll keep things short. I enjoyed Paul’s early ESPN columns, and I started reading Uni Watch from the very beginning. I’m originally from Pittsburgh, and I like all of their teams. Because of this, I root against the Browns, Penn St.. and Notre Dame. I am looking forward to the NHL returning to white at home. I have no information on this, but it seems obvious and long overdue.”

Thanks Dave. And now on to Dave’s “Anti-Uni Secrets”:

Now, for the fun part. Here are my unis for the topic…

Bears: The numbers are too skinny for me and don’t look right.

Cubs: I don’t hate the uniforms, but I’ve always thought of them as Little League, with the giant (and simple) chest logo. As for the road unis, they have tried many different things and come up empty each time.

Mets original: Not sure if this is a “classic”, but … I don’t think there is enough contrast between the blue and orange, and the Mets script is ok, but not great — maybe because it’s too short a name. And the interlocking NY is second rate to the Yankees. Lastly, this is another team that never got the road uni right.

Red Wings red: The white sweaters look really good, but the reds do nothing for me. The white stripes look too thick and the uniform is just too red and too plain, even with the great detailed chest logo … Also, sports with shoulder pads shouldn’t use arched names on back, even if it is the (overhyped on this site) vertically arched kind. Straight names on back look much much better in hockey and football.

Brewers ball in glove: Maybe not considered a classic, but definitely overrated. I like the colors, but from the neck down, these uniforms are horribly plain. And the cartoonish glove (4 fingers?!?) takes away from the double-meaning (although it is still a fun logo).

Wow, Dave. Thanks for that. I’m sure a LOT of folks aren’t going to agree with you, but you gave solid reasons for your dislike of these “classic” unis, and I for one can not only respect your opinions, but they definitely may cause others to look at them in a different light.

Next up is Mike Engle, who was on the same wavelength as Dave and who provided me with two unis he loves to hate. Here’s Mike:

The original Philly Flyers (recently reprised as an alternate): Now I’m not saying I prefer what they have now, but these orange uniforms just aren’t that good. The orange sleeve numbers creeping onto the orange body? Not good. The white nameplate? Glad to see it not fixed (it’s an essential throwback detail), but I still don’t like it. The socks? Not good at all. Now I know what the defenders will say: they’re just the Red Wings’ socks, in orange. Now here’s why the Flyers fail here. The Red Wings have two colors. Red and white. Not an ounce of anything else, except for sticks and skates, but I consider that players’ equipment, not the uniform. So while the Red Wings’ socks are REALLY simple (one thick band of color over the other color), it’s the best they can do, so it looks good. The Flyers have THREE colors. Orange, white, and black (really, black, not BFBS). Doubt me? Look at the number trim, the gloves, and the logo. That’s a lot of black. Been there since the Barry Ashbee era. Now look at the socks. Somebody forgot to put a team color on the Flyers’ socks. Either that, or the Flyers really did accept the Red Wings’ rejected laundry. So there you go. This is why I can’t join the “The Flyers look GREAT in their throwbacks!” chorus. Because they don’t. It’s their best uniform they can currently wear, but I just don’t like it.

If you want a second “secret gripe” from me, here’s one now — the white (and only the white) Buffalo Sabres, before they went black/red/silver batshit insane. Check out this picture. It’s a great uniform from a distance, but zone in on the stripe details. The bottom jersey hem goes yellow-blue-yellow, just like the socks. But the sleeves go blue-yellow-blue. There can’t be a good reason for this flip-flop. It’s just a STUPID design decision that drives me crazy every time I think about it, and proof that the Sabres REALLY should have gotten it all right the first time. Because no matter what happens to the socks, it looks all wrong for eternity, as seen about seventeen months ago.

Lets flash back to the 2008 Winter Classic. By this time, the Sabres had abandoned the black/red/silver batshit insanity in favor of the idiotic Buffaslug. I was almost looking forward to the break from that thing for a logo, but the special uniform was more of the same problem, but slightly worse. In what was supposed to be a straight throwback (the problem is that the socks aren’t double-triple striped like how they used to be), the Sabres found another way to fuck up their “timeless look.” You can see the new “wrong socks” have been flip-flopped to match the sleeves, leaving the bottom hem as the mismatched element. If I had to choose one or the other, I’d rather the sock stripes echo the bottom jersey hem, but I shouldn’t have to make that choice: all three components should match.

I love this crest, I think the colors are good, I adore the double-triple stripes of old, and the old all blue look is very good, but this really could have used a decent editor’s eye. Now it’s too iconic of a throwback, which means the stripes will never get fixed, and I’ll be stuck with this gripe forever, and I’ll never fully like the old-time Sabres in white.

Well thank you Michael. That’s a lot of “anti-love” for a couple of what many consider “classic” puck kits. I’m sure there are some who read who will take umbrage with your thoughts, but like Dave, they were well articulated and certainly thought-provoking.

What say you, Uni Watchers? Got a uniform that’s “so classic” or “so good” that you just can’t stand? Remember, you can’t hate the Yankees uni just because you’re a Red Sox fan (or vice versa), and the uniform must be thought of as a true ‘classic.’ You need a legitimate beef with what many of us consider a real solid uniform. Let’s hear it.

Guess The Game From The Scoreboard: You guys are obviously getting too good at this game. So, you shouldn’t have any problems guessing this one either. But then, maybe you will. Remember, if you get it, DON’T POST THE ANSWER in the comments, but instead, go to Baseball Almanac or Retrosheet and copy the URL of the game that’s about to follow. Just say something like “I GOT IT” and post the link as your “answer” in the comments. As a special “weekday edition” we’ve got TWO scoreboards today, so you must find the answer to BOTH. Final Score, Date & Location required. Ready?

Guess The Game, Pt. I

Guess The Game, Pt. II

Uni Watch Ticker: Reader Johnny Griswold writes, “I saw your post today (Saturday) about recoloring of new logos to their traditional colors and I wanted to point you to a design project that I’ve been working on for a month or two. It’s called Totally 80’s Redesign, where I take the five most deserving/modern NHL teams and redesign their uniforms as though they were around in the 1980’s.” You can view Johnny’s latest creation here — All of the other team redesigns can be seen by clicking the banners in my right sidebar of the site. Johnny continues, “Additionally, I’ll be creating a Totally Reebok concept, where I take defunct NHL teams, bring them back to life, and modernize them to the new Reebok Edge jerseys.” … Welcome back to the Black … Jeffery Waszak found what looks like an interesting drink — not quite the ‘official’ Mets’ script, but close … Hey Pirates! This is what a trophy looks like — and how brilliant were the schedule-makers to have the Buccos playing Detroit? … I believe these photos may have been posted in the comments on a previous day, but Steven Wojtowicz writes, “Here’s Carrie Underwood at the 19th Annual City of Hope Celebrity Softball Challenge. I can say without a doubt in my mind that this is the first time I’ve ever had any sexy feelings about women’s softball.” … I stumbled on this photo of France vs. Turkey playing hoops — for a second, I thought it was a WNBA game … It seems we haven’t seen the last of pink in sport, as Craig Costello points out in this article about players dye facial hair pink to support Women In League, and also this one, which remarks on the facial stylings of someone known as “Wolfman” … The Pirates and Tigers did the throwback thing yesterday in Pittsburgh, with each team donning 1909 vintage unis, and Pittsburgh again showed Detroit who’s boss, celebrating like they did 100 years ago … Pacific Rim and Asian Baseball Correspondent Jeremy Brahm checks in with this “Pillbox” video — go about 50 seconds in and you can see the Pacific League pitchers for the Nippon Ham Fighters and Kintetsu Buffaloes wearing them for the 1979 All-Star Game. And even his Central League teammates as well. About 3 minutes in and you’ll get another shot of some of the hats. … The Mets have finally called for backup … Zevi Lowenberg found a great article on MLB.com Sunday morning about one pitcher that now sprints to the mound when he called in. … Got a note from Josh Neisler who writes, “you’ll find a few photos of a jersey Honus Wagner wore as a hitting instructor for the Pittsburgh Pirates. The jersey belongs to the collection of the Louisville Slugger Museum & Factory (where I work part-time as a tour guide) and was acquired at auction last November. Wagner is important to Louisville Slugger because he was the first player to sign an endorsement contract with the company (he first signed in 1905) and to have his name and likeness appear on Slugger retail models (see bat in photos). Wagner played for the Louisville Colonels until that team merged with the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1900. The jersey is white with red letters outlined in blue, and also has red and blue piping around the neck and down the front, in keeping with the Pirates’ color scheme in the first half of the 20th Century. Here’s the text on the placard next to the jersey: Honus Wagner wore this 1946 Pittsburgh Pirates jersey. Wagner was a hitting instructor from 1932 through 1952, and was credited with aiding in the development of players such as Ralph Kiner, Pie Trayno, Arky Vaughan, and Kiki Cuyler. The tag says, ‘Gold Smith, Made in U.S.A., A Preferred Product.’ The size is 48 and Wagner’s last name is stitched just below the tag.” … West Coast correspondent Brinke Guthrie checks in with Chein Ming Wang’s baseball inspired kicks — says Brinke, “I kinda like these. I think.” … Dan Lamothe writes, “Even when I travel on business, I can’t get away from this stuff.” What stuff? Fake Yankees gear, of course. … Ditch the black? Why that’s a novel concept for the Jays and Mets. Thanks to Ben Walsh for the find … Fortunately Paul is on vacation and didn’t have to witness the purple-clad LA Lakers capture the NBA championship, after which they got to wear these nifty caps & t-shirts. Of course, coach Phil chose to don a gold and purple “X” cap (for his 10 NBA titles as a coach), while the Lakers t-shirt said “15x Champions”. Kobe got all the hardware, clad in his 3 stripe swag. And somewhere, soon, in Somalia, small children will proudly walk around thinking the Magic & Red Wings are the World Champs.

A short while ago, in the comments, a reader mentioned what we’re going to call a “dirty little uni secret.” That is to say, a uniform or jersey that is so bad, so crazy or so ludicrous, that one would almost be embarassed to say one liked it. My apologies to whomever first broached this topic, but said reader identified the 1997-2001 Anaheim Angels as being that team with that uniform which is so bad that it’s good. So bad, that one should be embarassed to admit liking it. So bad, that it’s a ‘guilty pleasure,’ so to speak. My apologies to whomever it was that brought this to the fore, but if you’re reading this today — please claim your “prize” for ’suggestion of the week.’

A few weeks after reading this, one of the younger members of the UW crew approached me with his own “Uni Confession,” one which I will share with you shortly. That would be Mike Engle. Let’s get to know Mike a bit better before he spills his guts for us all.

Phil Hecken: How old are you, and what do you do during the day?

Mike Engle: I’m 20 years old, full time jazz music major at McGill University (I always keep a link to my MySpace in my name, I play vibraphone and I’m an occasional composer).

PH: How did you find Uni Watch?

ME: I actually found Uni Watch through ESPN.com’s Page 2. In Grade 11 (we’re talking 2005), I had a lot of free time during the school day, so I used to do a lot of ESPN.com “studying.” One way or another, I found Uni Watch, and started following the blog. The rest is history.

PH: What sparked your interest in uniforms?

ME: For me, Uni Watching evolved from exception watching. In fact, my first Uni Watch memory was at age 7, and it was an exception. You know the multiple skinny belt loops the Detroit Tigers wear? Well, in 1996, the KC Royals also had them. I found that interesting. I’m sure I asked my dad why the Tigers and Royals have different belt loops than everybody else, and I’m sure he had no idea and didn’t care.

By the way, my new favorite Uni Watch sub-topic is jersey numbers. I always dreamed of being on a team where I would get my own jersey, made just for me, with a number I chose (as opposed to picking a well-fitting jersey, and being stuck with its number). It’s a real downer for me when players just pick a random number, or the lowest available, or the worst, sticking with a stupid Spring Training number.

PH: Finally, what are your favorite uniforms?

ME: In my opinion, the perfect uniform is instantly recognizable without wordmarks or logos. Given this criterion, I like the whole maroon set the Philadelphia Phillies had (I can’t think of any other MLB team to use maroon, and it’s too bad, because it’s a good color), Terry Bradshaw’s Pittsburgh Steelers set (real tough guys shouldn’t have to wear that stupid italic font, and by the way, the current NOB font looks like the Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? font), any Seattle SuperSonics jersey with the contrast-color arch across the jersey, and any Montreal Canadiens jersey with the torso stripe. Plus my two main rooting interests, the Yankees and the Jets, currently look really good while they play.

PH: Thanks Mike. Now, lets get into your dirty little secret. Your confession. Come on out of the Uni closet and share it with us.

Mike’s uniform confessions, i.e. “I know I shouldn’t like this uniform, and I know I’ll take some shit for liking it, but screw it, I like this uniform.” Here’s Mike:

I like the mid-90’s St. Louis Blues, with the diagonal stripes. A lot. I know I should dislike it because it has all three primary colors (all three should never look good together) and because of the really funky number font. But did you ever notice the tiny lines are always in groups of five? That’s a musical staff line. It’s genius. And remember, their shoulder patch was a trumpet and their crest was an eighth note. It makes perfect sense. And the slanted numbers … that’s a really ballsy move. It’s as if the designers knew they were going avant-garde, so they went all out and use every quirk to their advantage. The blue-and-copper Washington Capitals and eggplant-and-teal Mighty Ducks also had oblique stripes, but they had regular numbers that cut off the stripes. As if they were too afraid to go with their own design.

And speaking of crazy hemlines, I draw my line at the seasick Islanders. Yuck, no thank you. STRAIGHT lines please. You ever notice how the wavy “lines” with the teal thrown in for no good reason look like Aquafresh toothpaste? That’s a fail. But dear God, I’ll go to the grave asking for leniency on those 1997 Blues uniforms. Gretzky, MacInnis, Corson, Hull, Pronger, Fuhr…those guys had good uniforms.

And that’s my Uni Watch guilty pleasure.

Thank you Michael. But … we’re not quite done here. I asked Mike for a second confession — since we all have at least one: “A second Uni Watch confession? At that rate, I’d probably go with this Pittsburgh Penguins jersey. I LOVE black and gold together like this. Gray is also a nice third color here. Stripes galore, and nice torso stripe, proving you don’t have to be the Habs to do that look.”

“So, what about you Phil?” you must be thinking. “You must have a ‘guilty uniform pleasure’. Well, my therapist said I should never reveal this, but OK. It’s this. Yep, I admit it — the “lightning” yellow of the Oregon Ducks football team. I don’t like any of their other combos, don’t like it when they combine the yellow with another color and I don’t like the yellow lid. But I do like that yellow uni. Wow. That didn’t exactly feel good to get off my chest — my therapist warned against it … but what’re ya gonna do?

Now then, Uni Watchers — what’s YOUR guilty uniform pleasure?

Guess The Game From The Scoreboard: OK. The location of this should be easy. The game itself? Not so much. First clue should be the specific uniform being worn by the home team. It was only worn during two seasons. Once you can narrow that down, the result is (or shouldn’t be) that far behind. I’m looking for the location, date AND game score for 100% credit here. This one should be pretty difficult. Don’t forget to tell us HOW you solved it. Ready? Guess The Game From The Scoreboard

Answering my call last week for “Uniform Tracking” we have Jeff B. (be sure to click on his name for a link to his website) who’s been tracking the Minnesota Twins. Here’s his amazingly detailed report (and his decidedly decidedly low-tech tracking method).

The Twins have 5 different jerseys this season, the same number as last year. I thought there were going to be 6, with the addition of the throwback alternate in celebration of the Twins final season in the Metrodome, but, in what seems like a late decision, they dropped their blue road alternate jerseys, which had “Minnesota” across the front, which were first introduced in 1997, the first year of alternate jerseys for the Twins. While the road alt was blue, the notorious red home alternates were also introduced, only to be ridiculed and abandoned after only two games. The current home blue alts, with “Twins” on the front were debuted in 1998.

Perhaps they dropped the blue road alt because I sent them a snarky email suggesting the addition of a red road vest jersey, which would give them a different jersey for each day of the week…

The Twins are wearing two patches this year. One for the final season of the Metrodome, and a second memorial patch for the passing of owner Carl Pohlad. Having had a previous memorial patch for his late wife Eloise, this might very well be the only husband and wife both having had memorial patches on a team’s jerseys.

One thing about the patches that bothers me in the placement. I would have thought the Metrodome patches would have been placed on the sleeves of the jerseys in preparation for the season. When Mr. Pohlad passed away in January, I assumed that his patch would have either been on the right sleeve above the team logo, as the late Calvin Griffith’s “CRG” patch was, or above the Metrodome patch, assuming those would have been on the jerseys already.

Much to my surprise, the “Carl” patch was placed below the Metrodome patch. I find it very odd that the “Carl” blimp was not placed in a more “heavenly” position, floating peacefully in the sky above the dome. But instead, “Carl” finds himself buried underneath the Metrodome in a rather Jimmy Hoffa style. Aside from the “heaven” and “hell” aspect, I just find it visually jarring that the smaller patch is being crushed visually by the weight of the larger patch.

My tracking chart is divided into six columns, one for each of the five jerseys and an additional one to indicate home or road. The reason for that column, which would normally be unnecessary, will become apparent soon. I have tracked if the team has won or lost, and who the starting pitcher was.

The 5 Twins jerseys are their Home Whites, Road Greys, both introduced in 1987, their “Home” Blue Alternates (1998), their Home Vest Alternates (2006), and this year’s new Throwback jerseys, which were said to be the ones the team wore during their first season in the Metrodome in 1982. The problem with that claim is that the jerseys worn in 1982 were pullovers, and this years Throwbacks are button down jerseys, worn only in 1972 before changing to the pullovers.

Through May, the Twins have worn their white jerseys at home 9 times, with a record of 5-4. It took until 7th home game to actually wear them for the first time this season.

The one major quirk with the Twins this year has been the appearance of the Home Blue Alternate on the road. I wonder why they chose to drop the Blue Road Alternate since they have now worn their Home Blue on the road 7 times this year already. Their overall record in the Blue alt is 8-9, 7-3 at home and 1-6 on the road. The Home Vest Alternate has a record of 4-1, while the Road Greys come in at 5-10 through the end of May.

The Throwback Alternates have been worn for all Saturday home games this season with their Alternate Red caps with the blue visors. The only exception to this was Memorial Day Monday, when they also wore the Throwback with the Red Stars & Stripes caps that all teams wore. Their record in the Throwback jerseys is 3-3.

Speaking of caps, the Twins have so far worn their blue “TC” caps at all home games in the White, Blue and Vest jerseys, and their “M” logo road caps for all road games in their Grey and Blue Alt jerseys.

It appears that the starting pitcher has the choice of what they jersey they wear, as Scott Baker has chosen the White jerseys 4 times at home and the Blue once. He has opted for the Blue once and the Grey once each on the road.

Nick Blackburn has gone White 3 times and Blue twice at home and Grey four times and Blue twice on the road.

Francisco Liriano has been made to wear the Retro 3 times and chosen the Vest twice at home, while splitting between the Grey and Blue 3 times each on the road.

Kevin Slowey is the most predictable of the group, chosing the Blue at home 6 times, with one Saturday Retro dictated to him. He’s opted for the Grey all three starts on the road.

Glen Perkins has worn the Vest 3 times, the Retro once and the Blue once at home and both the Blue and the Grey once each on the road.

R. A. Dickey started once in the road Grey and Anthony Swarzak has two starts at home in the Retro once and the White once.

So far the only anomalies for the Twins have been the Throwback jerseys on Memorial Day Monday, the Home Blue jerseys appearing frequently on the road and the Carl patch buried but good under the crushing weight of the Metrodome patch.

And now, a NOB research project, by UW Historian/Research Architect, Timmy Brulia:

Hello All,

This is Timmy B, the guy who created the “NFL White At Home” database that chronicles what teams have worn their white jerseys at home in the NFL since 1957, and the “Pro Football Uniforms 1933-1958″ database, which describes the uniform designs for each team in the NFL and AAFC from that era.

My next attempt at a database is for all the teams that have worn the player’s name on the backs (NOB’s) of their jerseys in the “Big 4″ sports of football, baseball, basketball and hockey. Specifically, when they started doing it.

Up until 1960, there was only one documented example of a team with the NOB, the defunct New York Americans of the NHL in the 1926-27 season. Then in 1960, the Chicago White Sox began wearing NOB’s on the backs of their away blouses. Later that year, the upstart American Football League featured several teams that wore them at the start of the season. From all indications, by season’s end ALL teams wore NOB’s in the AFL. The Raiders went so far as to feature the players’ FIRST name as well as their last.

When the AFL merged with the NOB-less NFL in 1970, the NFL absorbed the idea and adopted the look for all 26 teams.

The NBA, already with several teams sporting NOB’s, took a shining to the idea and also made NOB’s mandatory starting with the 1971-72 season.

Not wanting to be left behind, the NHL adopted a league wide NOB policy in 1977-78 (with ONE notable exception which we’ll get to later).

Finally the National League, in 1979, mandated that all 12 teams at least have NOB’s on the teams’ road jerseys. To my knowledge, the American League never has adopted an NOB mandate. However, the NL’s rule seems to have been “waived” or not enforced as the Ddogers went NOB-less for several years earlier in the decade.

The purpose of the database is to be an easy to follow guide as to WHEN teams started to wear NOB’s, either before a league-wide edict, or especially in MLB, when there were gaps from exactly when they first started wearing NOB’s, then dropped them, and then added them. So if you’re wondering when – say the Braves – started wearing NOB’s (1963), when did they stop, and when did they resume the NOB’s. So, as an example, the Braves entry might look like this (years may NOT be correct):

Braves: 1963-1964, 1976-current.

or for hockey:
Rangers: 1970-71 thru 1976-77 (home only), 1977-78 to date.

What I am asking of you, the Uniwatch faithful, is for your help. I think I can cover the NFL and the NHL pretty well. However, for the NBA and especially MLB, if you can send me any photo samples with some verification as to when certain teams started and/or stopped wearing NOB’s it would be hugely appreciated and I will make sure to give you props in the database with your particular contribution(s).

To close, as promised, the NHL exception for 1977-78. In 1977, John Zeigler took over as NHL President, succeeding the long tenure (30 years) of Clarence Campbell. One of Zeigler’s first actions was to mandate that all NHL teams get with the program and affix NOB’s on the team sweaters, both home and away. 17 of the 18 teams complied, with no problem. One did not. The Maple Leafs owner, the crusty Harold Ballard, refused to follow the edict. They went half a season before Zeigler finally said to Ballard, put ‘em on or be fined. Finally, Ballard complied, by having blue NOB’s on the away blue sweaters! Zeigler, said, “Not funny” and then was ready to clamp Harold with some fines. At last, some time in late February, Ballard and the Leafs followed orders, but only for the blue jersey, with white letters. However, Ballard said to Zeigler, I will not do it for the home whites as he had an iron-clad clause with the Maple Leaf Gardens program printers NOT to adorn NOB’s on the home jerseys. Zeigler relented but ordered Ballard to comply fully starting with the 1978-79 season, which he did.

Thanks and again any and all help will be appreciated!!

You can reach Timmy by emailing him with any info.

Last Call For the RPM Stirrup Club: Got a note from Robert Marshall, the bobble boy. “phil, could you give a last call on the oriole stirrup, and make mention this weekend that i sent out this email to people that contacted me, and that if they didn’t get this email, that they should get in touch with me again? i think everyone is on here, but maybe i missed someone. i will be placing the order tuesday, so get in before then, i will not order extras. and they take tck 2 weeks to manufacture, so you should have them in less then 3 weeks from tuesday.” So, here’s that last call:

1) Cost $11 per stirrup. We will go through paypal, and use his rpmarshall art email address. Mr. Marshall does not intend to profit from this, but he doesn’t want to lose either. One of you sent Robert a payment for $10 (that is fine, don’t send him an extra 1$, you can work it out on the next pair), and those paypal bastards took $.60. but the breakdown is this: $7 for stirrup/$1 shipping from tck/$.50ish per envelope/ $.50ish paypal/$1.75 shipping to you (he just shipped a pair 1st class)=$10.75, which leaves $.25 for Robert’s gas/time/cover overruns, and he thinks that is more then fair. So, if you want 3 pairs, Robert will know by the $33 total. Make sure you give him a shipping address through paypal if you can. Please make this as easy on him as possible.

2) No, you are not obligated to buy every stirrup. They are calling it a “club”, and it would be nice if people were “generally” in, but nobody is in a must buy position. Robert will continue to add to this email list, and you will get emails every time they go for another ‘rup. If you want off the list, tell him, and he will take you off. Sure, you may occasionally get duplicate info, but it is easier for him to just have a general email to all involved, and not respond individually, he does not want to turn this into a job, he just want to get us all the stirrups we want :)

3) Clearly the next three ‘rups are the red sox, cardinals, and a’s, a popular, yet distant third choice. Robert provided this graphic with some other possible upcoming rups, most were suggested, others he just added to round out the image. He says we knock out the mlb’s first, then go from there, but we might mix in a crazy one here or there. Also the opening size will vary, this first pair is a 5″, and Robert has a feeling people will be happy with this size, it shows sani without getting crazy (staying classy), but we will more or less match the opening to the era. Or if 24 people get in, he can order twelve (min) 5″ and twelve 7″, he will make as many people happy as he can.

Wow…that’s a lot of stuff…so much so that there won’t be any “This and That” for today, but we’ll be back with one for tomorrow.

Everyone have a great Saturday. Don’t forget — tell us your “uni secret,” take a guess at the scoreboard, and give Timmy & Robert a hand. Ok? Ok!

Tired of those unsightly Reebok logos on NHL jerseys? So is Michael Jordan! In fact, we could probably eliminate the Reebok mark from the NHL altogether if we just cloned a few hundred Jordans and used them to replace all the players currently on NHL rosters, because MJ ain’t wearin’ no vector.

What’s the deal? According to this column (helpfully sent my way by reader Rachel Bicicchi), Jordan happily donned a Blackhawks jersey at Friday’s ’Hawks/Wings game, “but only after team officials sewed a red patch over the maker’s company logo.”

This isn’t the first time Jordan has engaged in some impromptu uniform modification in order to please the Masters of Swoosh, and I think it’s safe to say it won’t be the last.

Enjoy your Decoration Day, don’t forget the sunscreen, etc., etc. — Paul

[Editor's Note: Today's entry has been guest-written by Les Holmlund, whose childhood DIY project went above and beyond the call of duty. -- PL]

By Les Holmlund

Way back around 1971, when I was a young lad of 14, I read about Detroit Red Wings trainer Lefty Wilson and others creating face-formed masks for NHL goalies. The process involved smearing Vaseline on the goalie’s face, inserting breathing straws, and layering a slab of plaster of Paris directly onto the face. After it set, the plaster was removed to harden, and then this negative form was filled with more plaster, creating a positive mold. Fibreglass was layered over this, and after some cutting, drilling, and painting, a mask was born.

I got my Dad to help by putting the plaster on my face, much to my Mom’s horror. What my research didn’t tell me was that the darn plaster gets hot as it sets! Also, no amount of Vaseline could prevent some unintended eyelash removal when the plaster was removed.

My first try was a small mask I used for a few games at the end of my last season of bantam hockey (14 years old). As you can see, there’s not much there — safety standards were obviously lower back then, and somehow they let me wear this on the ice. I knew, however, that I could do better.

The next summer I came up with this, based on the masks produced by Jacques Plante’s company, Fibrosport. Jacques wore this style, as did Bernie Parent and others. I used this for half a season while I worked on the next mask.

Mask number three was patterned after masks made by Ernie Higgins. NHL wearers of Higgins’ work included Ed Johnston and Gerry Desjardins. I cut the chin too short, so it was back to the drawing board.

This was the last homemade mask I made. It was as good as I could do, and I wore it for a number of years from age 16 to about 20. It still has the awesome 1973 paint job I applied to (sort of) match the Islanders-based uniforms my team wore. Here is how these four DIY efforts now spend their days, on the wall of the ManPit.

After discovering punk rock, I retired for a few years, and when I returned, went to a Jofa helmet/cage combination. I still play hockey, and am still using a Jofa, but this one is a rare helmet/cage/mask hybrid, which I like a lot.

I sometimes think about trying to design a new kind of mask, and building it from scratch, but the current popular design seems pretty hard to improve upon.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Paul here. Speaking of masks, I was sitting around Uni Watch HQ yesterday, and of course I was wearing my official white surgical mask, what with the pig anthrax or the cat scurvy or whatever the hell it is that the the president’s trying to poison us with. And I suddenly got this feeling of deja vu, which I initially attributed to the goat rickets, but then I realized I was having a flashback to this photo, which originally ran in the Ticker in the fall of 2007. It shows a batter, catcher, and ump all wearing surgical masks during the famous muskrat fever outbreak of 1918. Isn’t it amazing that a public health emergency can’t stop baseball, but a little bit of rain can? … An MLS ref who accepted a jersey from a player has been reprimanded (with thanks to Jason Hillyer). … New uni numbers for the Iggles, Panthers, Rams, and Bears. … Meanwhile, the Pats presented their top draft pick and dressed him up in a Pat Patriot cap. … Cycling news from Sean Clancy, who writes: “Because of weird pro cycling rules that aren’t worth getting into, Astana team members Lance Armstrong (front), Levi Leipheimer (second), and Chris Horner are racing the Tour of the Gila in New Mexico wearing a kit from Armstrong’s Mellow Johnny’s bike shop.” … A little birdie passed along something interesting: MLB’s “Opening Day/Week/Series” style guide. … Latest catcher to wear a front-facing brim: Robinzon Diaz of the Pirates (with thanks to Doug Keklak). … Totally forgot to link to last Sunday’s article about Nyjer Morgan’s stirrups. Too bad about the word “hoses” in the lede graf, though — ugh. … Faaaascinating site here devoted to women wearing military uniforms (with thanks to my buddy Shane Arbogast). … Reprinted from yesterday’s comments: A-Rod went double-flapped in yesterday’s rehab game. … Dig the subscript NOBs on the 1980-81 KC Kings. … Second item on this page shows just how low the Lions have sunk. … Cincinnati has a bunch of amusing new nerd-ish vigilante crackpots uniformed crime-fighters (with thanks to David Sonny). … Latest genius move by the Wilpons: The “Bottled Beer” vendors at Shea are selling canned beer (as spotted by Mat Orefice). … A bunch of NYC police uniforms were seized in a raid. … This week’s New Yorker points out that if Texas makes good on Gov. Rick Perry’s “threat” to secede (highly unlikely yet oh so tantalizing), there’d be a nice side benefit: The Cowboys would no longer be able to call themselves America’s Team. … Rugby note from Caleb Borchers, who writes: “After much political wrangling, the South Africans finally have a new jersey. The traditionalists have ‘lost,’ in that the new jersey has moved the Springbok and the Protea flower is in its place. Given what the old design looked like, this really has been a lot of debate about nothing.” … Hey look, it’s a bunch of stupidly dressed golfers (as forwarded by Johnny Flanagan). … Go to this page and scroll down to “Rosenfels’ new number” to learn about, um, Rosenfels’s new number (with thanks to Jeff Barak). … Awesome home movie footage of a 1929 hockey game here (with thanks to Alan Kreit). … Taylor Looney says this guy was standing in front of him at a store in Midland, Texas. From the front, he says, it was a perfectly normal Tony Romo jersey. Was the back a manufacturer’s defect, or is this some sort of new “edgy” design trend we can all look forward to hating in the weeks and months to come? … Remember this? I don’t, thankfully, but it’s apparently what the Minnesota football team wore in 1994. “For me, it’s a case of ’so bad it’s good,’” says Tris Wykes. … With Triple Crown season upon us, Jeremy Brahm found some good blinker designs. Here’s a Hello Kitty-themed example, and I like this simple strawberry logo. … Happy May Day to the seven or eight of you who still have jobs. Enjoy the Derby, Hatton vs. Pacquiao, and whatever else you’ve got planned for the weekend.