I think it’s fair to say that relatively few people bothered to tune in for Monday night’s Mets/Braves game, what with both teams playing out the string and Peyton Manning plying his trade a mere click of the remote control away. I think it’s even fairer to say that the game’s initial TV audience, however paltry it might have been, had dwindled considerably by the bottom of the 5th, by which time the Braves were winning by the tidy score of 11-2.

But those who stuck with the SouthSports telecast that long (including Becky Taylor, who informed me of what I’m about to describe) bore witness to an epochal moment in broadcasting history, as Braves play-by-play man Jon Sciambi pulled out a T-shirt and presented it to his partner, Joe Simpson, who obligingly draped it across his chest. “Simpson was always unabashed in talking about his hatred of that stadium, so it was a gag gift,” explains Becky.

Sciambi and Simpson then took turns making fun of this guy, which I believe marked the first time the gray and royal Shea tees have both been featured on TV in the same half-inning (and definitely marked the dorkiest dual endorsement ever). And then Simpson, who clearly knows how to hit a hanging curve, said, “You know, the funny thing about this shirt is, right after Chipper’s son was born, that’s what he said.”

For the record, I sent a shirt to Chipper a few months ago, but nothing ever came of it — dang. Meanwhile, if this moving exchange between Sciambi and Simpson has led to a stirring in your loins wallet, you can scratch that itch here.

And after you buy the T-shirt…: When Brian Schulz asked us to pattern his membership card after his high school football jersey, complete with the mesh treatment, I wasn’t sure we’d be able to do it, but Scott really outdid himself, as you can see at right. That’s one of several new designs that have been added to the membership card gallery. For those of you who’ve been waiting a few weeks for your cards, a new batch will mail out today.

I know lots of you have been “meaning to” sign up (or at least that’s what literally dozens of you have told me in recent weeks), so hey, there’s no time like the present, am I right?

Yet another way for you to give me all your money: I’ve been going through my record collection and making a few old 45s available on eBay. The current crop includes fairly rare stuff from the Apples, the Dead C., and Big Black, all of which should be very exciting to the four or five of you who’ve actualy heard of those bands. Remember, the more records I sell, the less likely I’ll have to resort to the latest trends in sports media (and/or the sooner I can just retire to New Zealand already, whatever).

Uni Watch News Ticker: On Monday I asked about Brad Childress’s non-Motorola headset. As several readers informed me, he wears it because of a hearing problem. … Stopped by the Shake Shack the other day and was disappointed to see that this sign had an apostrophe catastrophe. … Of course, some apostrophe catastrophes are more catastrophic than others. … Shaun Tunick notes that Brian McCann has been wearing a road catcher’s helmet at home. … Neglected to mention that Floyd Mayweather was wearing two-in-one faux stirrups on Saturday (thanks to Kenneth Ritz for reminding me). … In a related item, a player for AC Fiorentina was wearing stirrups in a Champions League match last week (as spotted by Stephen Boyd). … The Army has a new uniform for use in Afghanistan (with thanks to Kyle Kalkwarf). … Reprinted from Monday’s comments: Here’s something I’ve never seen before — a hockey helmet getting ripped in half. … Also from Monday: Hyphen vs. hyphen! … Here’s the new Mavs alt jersey. Additional photo here. … New hockey jerseys for Ohio State (with thanks to Nick Houser). … Rookie hazing is in full swing. … If you go to this link and scroll down to the “Interesting Story” headline, you’ll learn how the Twins were considering having corporate sponsorship for their organ (courtesy of Nate Hill). … Unusual NOB typography here (with thanks to John Dugan). … Here’s a good look at the Tribe’s “We lost last year’s World Series” patch, worn in 1996. … Now there’s a train wreck. That’s Washington High School, from Sioux Falls, South Dakota (with thanks to Bill Blewett). … New uni set for the Bobcats, and I can’t say I’m a fan of the pinstripes. … Jeff Meyers notes that one of the Colts’ coaches was wearing a red cap on Monday night, presumably so players on the field could pick him out as he gave signals. … Adidas and Puma have buried a 60-year hatchet, or something like that (with thanks to Brinke Guthrie). … Take a deep breath to prepare yourself for this. That’s Vida Blue (duh), wearing FiNOB and what appears to be cut-off baseball pants while working out in March of 1980 (tremendous find by Morris Levin). … Didn’t realize that Sheldon Brown wore a Jason mask for his pregame intro on Sunday until Shaun Tunick mentioned it to me. … Excellent stripes being worn by Battle Mountain High School in Edwards, Colorado (with thanks to Jeff Moddelmog). … Longtime Uni Watch fave Mark Penxa has designed the logo for this very entertaining site devoted to “an alternative baseball lexicon.” … Good article about Vanderbilt players’ eye black messages here (with thanks to Wade Harder). … Longtime contributor Michael Orr has started a new blog about English soccer, including some uni coverage. … New mascot for Tulsa, and be sure to check out the gallery of past ’scots — fairly hilarious stuff (with thanks to Dan Bewley). … And in a related item, there’s a new logo for Cal State Fullerton. … What’s the latest way for players to keep cool on the sidelines? Air-conditioned pads (props to my Page 2 colleague DJ Gallo). … Navy will wear these throwbacks on Saturday (as sent my way by Mike Althouse). … Most of you have never seen the Rams wearing these pants. That’s because I believe they’ve only been worn once, during a 2001 preseason game against the Chargers. Reader Mako Mameli has provided a bunch of additional photos. … Is this where football sock design is headed? That’s Wautoma High, and I’m embarrassed to report that they’re from Wisconsin. Yeesh (with thanks to Ray Barrington). … Michael Princip is keeping track of Oregon’s uniform combos, plus he’s added some program covers to his excellent Illustrated NFL site, including this killer Lions cover. … Always fun to see as many shots as possible of Clarence Weathers and his double-decker FNOB (with thanks to Zak Kalina). … Do you have dreams about uniforms? If so, here’s how to interpret them (thanks, Phil, but why were you cruising around that site to begin with?). … Tremendous vintage football jersey available here (nice find by John Sheehan). … A few years ago, Doug Brei sent me a note in which he claimed that Wendell Tyler wore mismatched cleats in Super Bowl XIV. Or at least that what he says — I don’t actually remember. In any event, he now has visual evidence. See this photo spread? Check out Tyler’s footwear — Adidas on one foot and Pony on the other! Bizarre, right? Similar to the Pete Vukovich photos I wrote about last year. … What’s better than a lot of stripes? A lot of stripes with striped trim. That’s School baseball team from Groton, MA about 1899. If the dude in the white necktie looks familiar, it’s because he’s FDR (great find by Justine DeCotis). … Eric Wright of the Browns has been fined $5000 for having his knees uncovered (with thanks to Brinke Guthrie). … TNOB alert. That’s the Canadian High School football team, from the incongruously named town of Canadian, Texas. Further non-uni details here (with thanks to Dan Cichalski). … This article about game-used Mets merch is intermittently uni-related and consistently hilarious — highly recommended reading. … One of America’s foremost collectors, Lester Glassner, has passed away. He died over a month ago, but nobody is officially dead until the New York Times says they are, and that didn’t happen for Lester until two days ago. His obituary is fascinating and entertaining, as I’m fairly certain Lester himself must have been. RIP, brother.

Uni Watch has a highly sophisticated readership, so I’m sure you all know about furries. But just in case: Furries are people who like to dress up as animals — sometimes just “for fun,” often as a sexual fetish (further details here and here). Like most festishes, this one is generally harmless but baffling to outsiders. Think of it as an intense devotion to a very particular kind of uniform.

For the past several years, furries have been holding their annual convention in Pittsburgh. And that led to a positively surreal exchange between Mets broadcasters Gary Cohen and Keith Hernandez during yesterday’s Mets/Pirates game. It all started when the camera lingered for a moment on the Pirates’ mascot. Here’s how it went from there:

Gary Cohen: There’s the Pirate Parrot, entertaining. One of many, uh, animal figures in town today.

Keith Hernandez: Saw a few around the hotel, didn’t we?

Cohen: The strangest convention I’ve ever seen is at our hotel here in Pittsburgh. You know, you travel around the country and you see parts of our society and our culture you never would’ve encountered anywhere else. There is a group of people, about 4,000 strong, convening in Pittsburgh this week. People who dress up as stuffed animals.

Hernandez: They’re cuddly bears. They like to cuddle.

Cohen: Bears, birds, dogs…

Hernandez: What are they called..?

Cohen: …wolves…

Hernandez: Ferriers..? All’s I know is I got in the elevator with four of them and the odor was horrific. [Camera shows the Pirate Parrot again.]

Cohen: Not the Pirate Parrot. He’s a natural mascot.

Hernandez: I had to get off. I’m not lyin’. I was on the 17th floor, goin’ down. I had to jump off on the 10th floor. I almost passed out.

Cohen: Guess those costumes don’t breathe very well. But it was, it was something, we walked into the hotel last night, comin’ from Milwaukee, and there was a, a, person in a wolf’s costume. And another person in a dog costume.

Hernandez: I saw a guy with, with his pet beaver. He had his hand, he was stroking it, he was petting it. [Long pause.] I’m serious! It was a, like a stuffed animal, and he was comforting it. Very bizarre.

Cohen: It’s a different world.

In case you missed that rather obvious cry for help, Hernandez said he “had to get off,” was “goin’ down,” and that he saw someone petting a beaver. Keith, Keith, no need to speak in code! You’re among friends here — nothing to be ashamed of. Just come out and admit you’re a total perv who fantasizes about banging the Philly Phanatic and then we can all move on with our lives.

As it turns out, this isn’t the first time a visiting team has been put in the same hotel as the furries. Meanwhile, a few hours after Cohen and Hernandez had their little exchange, this story broke in Denver. Hernandez’s whereabouts could not be ascertained.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Two items from Vince: First, a Little League manager is sending signals to his base coaches via text message. And here’s some good stuff about the history of Cavs uni numbers. … “On Wednesday night, MLS Seattle Sounders FC faced USL Portland Timbers,” writes Markus Kemp. “Both teams usually wear green, but there was an apparent uni snafu when the visiting Sounders ‘forgot’ to bring the secondary blue jerseys, forcing the home Timbers to switch to black. Gamesmanship?” … We all know Earl Weaver had a cigarette pocket sewn into his jersey. But look at this — supposedly a game-worn 1979 Frank Robinson jersey with a cig pocket. Was Robinson an Orioles coach in ’79? And did he smoke? Or is this just a scam? … Nike has struck a 10-year deal with UNC (with thanks to Brinke Guthrie). … Chris Mycoskie points out that the Cowboys’ new stadium is not in Dallas, as I said yesterday. It’s in Arlington. Duly noted. … Odd that the Benglas use this font for their locker nameplates. I’ve never seen it anywhere else in their graphics program (good spot by Matt Lesser). … Phil, forced to watch the Yankees last night because the Mets had already played a day game, notes that Melky Cabrera had something scribbled on his arm. Yo, Tyler Kepner, what’s it all about?

New ESPN column today — link coming soon. tomorrow.

Meanwhile: Several uni-related discussions during yesterday’s ballgames. Let’s start in Milwaukee, where the combination of a blowout game and one of those stupid text-vote promotions gave Brewers broadcasters Brian Anderson and Bill Schroeder the opportunity to have the following uni dialogue:

Brian Anderson: Our U.S. Cellular Text to Vote: your favorite logo. The ball-in-glove is W, the X logo is, uh, I don’t know what you call that one, a crest? And then the current Brewers logo is Y.

Bill Schroeder: A crest?

Anderson: I don’t know what’d you guys call that one?

Schroeder: It was a Notre Dame logo.

Anderson: Notre Dame?

Schroeder: Kind of reminder me of the ND.

Anderson: Is that something you’re comin’ up with, or is that what they called it?

Schroeder: Just looked like it to me.

Anderson: Kind of blew my crest out of the water there, and then you came back with a Notre Dame logo!

Schroeder: I’m tryin’ to help.

Anderson: Sitting here in Marquette country and you’re gonna drop a Notre Dame on us.

Schroeder: That logo didn’t last long. It really didn’t.

Anderson: That wasn’t, it wasn’t, that wasn’t a high point. And it was associated with some pretty bad ballclubs as well.

Schroeder: Yeah. The dark days in Brewer history.

Anderson: You were in the ball-in-glove era…

Schroeder: Yes sir.

Anderson: …and you were in the California Angels era, right?

Schroeder: Right. The Brewer era with the baby-blue road uniforms, pool-over jerseys [I swear that's how he pronounced it -- PL], the no-belt look

Anderson: A nice tight fit.

Schroeder: The Mod Squad era.

Anderson: I think more teams should bring back the baby blues. I know the Royals have done it. … Had a question about the ball-in-glove uniforms earlier in the homestand. I was walking through the stands on the way out, and it used to be every Friday they’d have Retro Friday. Now it’s once a month. [Cameraman obligingly shows this fan.] The ball-in-glove with the cheese hat — that’s about as Milwaukee as you can get right there. … Your Notre Dame logo was used from ’94 to ’99.

Schroeder: Longer than I thought.

Anderson: Yeah. Some decent years in there. Phil Garner…

Schroeder [interrupting]: I associate that with the John Jaha era of Brewer baseball. He could hit.

Anderson: What about Barrel Man? Barrel Man was a popular logo in the ’70s. That didn’t make our U.S. Cellular list today.

Schroeder: That was, uh, the first one, right?

Anderson: Yup. That was the very first logo coming from Seattle, when they were the Pilots. [They had] Barrel Man for about eight years. Most of the ’70s it was Barrel Man, until the late ’70s, when the ball-in-glove made it. Tommy Meindel designed that ball-in-glove logo. He was an art history student at UW-Eau Claire, and he won the contest. It’s one of the greatest logos in the history of the game.

Schroeder: What do you think he got for it?

Anderson: I heard he got…

Schroeder: Coupla tickets?

Anderson: A couple of grand. [That is correct, at least according to this article. -- PL]

Schroeder: Tickets, maybe a bat.

Anderson: He got a big “Attaboy.”

Geoff Poole, who tipped me off to this discussion, adds the following: “By the way, the ball-in-glove logo won the poll question with nearly 75% of the vote. I’d say the Brewers’ fans have good taste.”

Meanwhile, over in Pittsburgh, Pirates broadcasters Tim Neverett and Bob Walk engaged in a bit of helmet banter when Royals catcher Brayan Peña was batting:

Tim Neverett: Peña, a switch-hitter. See, he doesn’t have to have two helmets because he uses one with the double flap. Sometimes a switch-hitter likes having only one helmet. Other times they’ll get one with the ear cut off on either side. You don’t see the double-flaps a ton at the big league level. Most of the time it’s cut off on one side or the other.

Bob Walk: Somewhere we saw someone wearing a double-flap who was not even a switch-hitter, which you really don’t see very often. Was it with the Indians? The left fielder, I think..?

Neverett: It was, uh, Shin-Soo Choo.

Walk: Yeah.

Neverett: He’s a left-handed hitter, but he has the double-flap. That’s something you rarely see.

Walk: I knew who it was, but I was gonna wait for you to pronounce the name.

Would’ve been nice if they’d mentioned that double-flaps are mandatory in the minors, but this was generally a much higher level of uni observation than we see from most broadcast teams. Slowly but surely, the rest of the world is catching up to us.

Finally, there was also some uni-related discussion during yesterday’s blue vs. blue game in Arlington, where Rangers broadcasters Josh Lewin and Tom Grieve were getting a lot of e-mail from their viewers:

Josh Lewin: Bo,y one e-mail theme we’re definitely getting tonight is everybody is HATING this look of both teams being in blue.

Tom Grieve: Boy, I can’t agree more.

Lewin: It’s a different shade of blue…

Grieve: There should be a rule against it.

Lewin: Padres are the only team on the field with the sand-colored pants, however. That’s one way you can discern between the two tonight.

Grieve: I mean, at the very least, the home team should declare their uniform, and the visitor should NOT be able to wear a dark-colored jersey. They should have to wear a light-colored road jersey.

Lewin: I agree with you, and in the NBA when the Mavs choose to wear their home greens and they happen to be playing Boston, the Celtics, I guarantee you, would not also be wearing green.

Grieve: Nope.

[Unfortunately the conversation ends abruptly when Scott Hairston hits one out of the park. Later in the game, however, the discussion resumes.]

Lewin: What do you think of the blue and sand uniforms for San Diego?

Grieve: I’m not a big fan.

Lewin: Better though than the old, brown orange and yellow?

Grieve: Yeah, I wasn’t a fan of those either.

Lewin: What about the original mustard-color, all-yellow, Nate Colbert/Mike Ivie style?

Grieve: Ha, no… Served its purpose, but not a fan.

Lewin: Rangers are classic baseball Americana. They feature the red, white, and blue of that Texas state flag…

Grieve: Yeah I’m still a traditionalist. For a home game I like the all-white uniform. I love the red for a weekend game like the Rangers have been using it… The uniforms in this game make it look like a Spring Training game.

Lewin: Agreed. But, just back to the old brown, orange, and yellow… that’s the one that Steve Garvey said made him look like a taco.

Grieve: There’ve been some doozies of uniforms over the years. Cleveland’s all-red one comes to mind…

Lewin: Ugh. Nolan was the only guy I thought that made the Astros’ paint sampler uniform look good.

Grieve: Yeah, that was obviously a different-looking uniform. Of all the ones we’re talking about though, I would prefer that one over the other ones.

Lewin: They never made you wear the 1977 White Sox short shorts?

Grieve: Ha, no. Played against the White Sox when they wore ’em though.

Lewin: Putting Wilbur Wood in that uniform was just not, not fair.

Grieve: The jerseys that they wore were made to hang out of their uniform, and even when they weren’t wearing shorts they wore that year, they wore them with a collar on them. Kind of a little V-neck, with a collar. Tapered and tailored to hang out of their pants. To not be tucked in.

Lewin: To maximize dorkiness.

Grieve: They were probably very comfortable. If you weren’t self-conscious about what you looked like.

Lewin: Was that considered stylish at that time? I mean I was like 9…

Grieve: Well, it was stylish in that they were the only ones wearing it. It wasn’t stylish enough to catch on anywhere else as far as I know.

Special thanks to pseudonymous reader u2-horn for providing the transcript of that last one.

Research Request: If anyone out there watched a lot of MTV in the 1980s and would like to assist me with a research project, please give me a shout. Don’t worry, I promise it has nothing to do with Michael Jackson and plenty to do with uniforms. Thanks.

Raffle Reminder: Thanks to everyone who donated to Bryan’s relief fund. That project is now closed, and today’s the last day to enter the raffle for the Wilco tickets. If you haven’t already entered, submit your entry (one per person, except for Membership Program enrollees, who can submit four entries) by sending a blank e-mail to the raffle address. The subject line should have your name and which of these four shows you wish to attend. If you can attend more than one, please list them in order of preference. I’ll announce the winners tomorrow.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Ebbets Field Flannels prexy Jerry Cohen has started a new historical blog, Flannel of the Month. … Nice feature on awful soccer kits here (with thanks to T. Faust). … Bruins blogger Greg Ezell has begun a historical survey of the team’s uniforms, beginning with the 1920s. … Good soccer patch contribution from James Robertson, who writes: “FIFA came up with unique tournament patches for each team in the Confederations Cup, featuring a silhouette of the trophy that the team won to get to the tournament. Spain has the European Champions trophy on their sleeve patch, for example, and the U.S. has the Gold Cup theirs.” … Interesting to see that Rodrigue Beaubois had a little French flag on his French cuffs at the NBA Draft (with thanks to Mike Verna). … The Edmonton Eskimos will wear 1960s throwbacks for three games this season. Further details here. … NHL draft prospects discuss their favorite and least-favorite jerseys here (with thanks to Thomas Leibowitz). … If you click here, you’ll see the lead singer from a Boston band called the Fools giving a tour of Fenway Park. It’s only a so-so clip, but the interesting thing is that he’s wearing a Red Sox cap I’ve never seen before, featuring the standard B combined with the hanging socks. Just a fashion cap, natch, but it’s a new one to me. … Good article here about the development of the Philadelphia Union brand. If you want more, this article suggests that the team’s logo was ripped off from Nike. … Interesting merchandising legal case at issue here. … Last section of this article mention’s David Eckstein’s penchant for wearing NFL receiver’s gloves instead of batting gloves (with thanks to Dusty McGowan) … “Marathon Gas Stations sold these Kentucky Colonels tumblers in like ’70 or ’71,” writes Brinke Guthrie. “They are called Pro Star Portraits, by the artist Jim Volpe. You got them with a fill-up. They came in 8×10 format, or in a poster I believe with all the photos on it, and these tumblers. We used to trade these in school like crazy. Just got ’em on eBay for like 14.95 or so — the seller forgot to use the word ‘Volpe’ in the title or they would’ve sold for a lot more.” … Knicks draft picks Jordan Hill and Toney Douglas donned Mets gear prior to Friday night’s game at Shea. … Adam Elkana-Hale was Kilkenny vs. Galway in the Leinster provincial hurling semifinals when he saw the Kilkenny goalie wearing a Chicago Bears cap. “It’s not even a color match, because Kilkenny is black/gold,” notes Adam. Bizarre. …. Chris Mayberry snapped this shot at a recent Royals game. … Cerveceros vs. Gigantes in Milwaukee on Saturday night. … The Royals and Pirates did the Negro Leagues thing on Friday and Saturday nights. First time I can recall back-to-back throwback games. As you can see, KC had some color-coordination issues. … Reprinted from Saturday’s comments: Josh Hamilton, who’s on the DL, wore some sort of bizarro half-and-half jersey while stretching before Saturday’s Rangers/Padres game. The NOB is his nickname (also found on his batting gloves), but what’s the deal with the Lokai and Bele jersey treatment? Do the Rangers routinely do this for players who are rehabbing while on the DL? I’ll try to find out. … I love the jackets in this photo. … Denis Repp reports that the Heinz History Center in Pittsburgh has a new exhibit on Forbes Field. “It includes a nice uni find: a Homestead Grays uniform, circa 1947,” he writes. “It was worn by Euthumn Napier, who became the Grays’ starting catcher in 1947 after Josh Gibson died the previous winter.” There’s also a Pennsylvania Turnpike exhibit with a toll clerk’s uniform. You can see both uniforms here. … Latest CFL team to unveil a throwback element: the Calgary Stampeders (with thanks to DeForest Maitland). … Yet another Nats problem, as explained by Dave Raglin: “The Nats have had a problem with the out-of-town scoreboard ever since moving into Nats Park. This picture is from Tuesday 6/23, and it shows #63 as the winning pitcher for the Tigers and #37 the loser for the Cubs. Those uni numbers are switched — 37 is Brandon Lyon, the winner for the Tigers, and 63 is Kevin Gregg, the loser for the Cubs. The funny thing is that it only affects finals, not games in progress (note in the Reds/Jays game on the board, for example that #51 for the Reds is Jared Burton and #54 for the Jays is Jason Frasor, and those are correct).” … You have got to be kidding me (blame Hugh McBride). … A museum in Germany has been exhibiting someone’s collection of over 2000 sports trophies (with thanks to Rob Walker). … Somewhat bizarre uni note from Matthew Hiett, who writes: “The Coca-Cola bottle at Turner Field is covered in authentic MLB equipment, including red alternate jerseys. They used Cool Base jerseys, and now the ventilated pits have faded more than the rest of the jerseys.” … Tim Wood has singled out an interesting little sub-niche of sports design: private yacht signal flags, many of which are gorgeous. “For years, I’ve had this flag, which belonged to my wife’s mother’s boat, hanging in my office,” he writes. He’s scanned a bunch of pages from the 1948 Lloyd’s Register of American Yachts and put them here. “The signals in the book are arranged based on the dominant color(s) in the design,” he explains. “At first I thought that this had something to do with making it simpler to print. But a better explanation might be that it made the book more useful as an identification guide. If you see a yacht signal and want to know who it belongs to, you can start by looking in the section with the signal’s main color and work from there –much easier than if they were arranged alphabetically or chronologically or some other way that would require looking through all the designs until you found the right one.” … Alain Nana-Sinkam was driving through Media, Pennsylvania the other day when he spotted two Eagles helmet carts — one featuring the team’s current helmt design, one from the Jaworski era — parked in back of a gas station. “They were in a body shop/junkyard type of lot that was fenced off, so I asked a guy that worked there if I could take some pictures,” he writes. “He checked with the owner and then came back and said the owner refused to let me take any pictures since ‘he makes them for the Eagles.’ So I left but did my best James Bond and snapped a couple of pics with my phone as I drove away. Unfortunately, I was too far away to get much detail, but the modern one is unlike any helmet cart I’ve ever seen. It looked like it was bolted on an actual vehicle, as opposed to the golf cart kind I’ve normally seen.” … Last week Mariano Rivera wore Alfredo Aceves’s batting helmet. Last night he wore Cody Ransom’s (screen shot courtesy of Terence O’Donohue). … In other Yankees headwear news, still no Yankee Stadium patch or MLB logo on Brian Bruney’s cap (with thanks to Chris Gordon for the screen shot). … Chad Todd just got back from Baltimore, where he wore these stirrups for a visit to Camden Yards. “Got lots of compliments,” he says. “Can’t thank Robert Marshall enough for pulling some strings to get this all done in time for the game.” … Reprinted from last night’s comments: Lengthy article about stirrups here. Recommended reading.

Latest member of Stirrup Nation: Marlins pitcher Burke Badenhop (whose name is a perfectly baseball-ized version of Boris Badenov). He’s apparently been wearing them all season long — and also last year, and also in the minors — but I wasn’t aware of it until Milwaukee broadcasters Brian Anderson and Bill Schroeder had the following conversation during last night’s Brewers/Marlins game:

Brian Anderson: Badenhop’s wearing the old-fashioned stirrups. You don’t see guys wearing the stirrups very often. That’s a lost art, the stirrups. Those are old-school. Normally guys just wear, y’know, the black socks, the full socks.

Bill Schroeder: Right. I didn’t think they made ’em anymore.

Anderson: I think they’re making a comeback.

Schroeder: I think you have to special-order those online.

Anderson: Gotta go to the, uh, the retro department?

Schroeder: Right. Those are not in the, uh, the sanitary sock bin in the clubhouse. [Chuckles. Anderson chuckles back, although nobody has said anything funny.] That’s not an option.

Anderson: Those are a custom job, you say?

Schroeder: Yeah.

Anderson: I’ve seen a few players wearing them, though, you know. I think there’s a little bit of a comeback comin’.

Schroeder: Yeah. Have to go to a local sporting goods store, maybe, pick some up.

Anderson: That was the best day of the year, wasn’t it? Go get your uniform…

Schroeder: Yup.

Anderson: …get those stirrups wrapped up.

Schroeder: You ever cut the bottoms of the stirrups and put the elastic in?

Anderson: Yeah.

Schroeder: So you just had that one strip goin’ up.

Anderson: And then, you know, when you get to high school, and you get all the hand-me-down stuff, you know. And so they’ve been through the bin a few times. They’re all stretched out and then you’ve actually gotta flip ’em over your foot to get ’em back down again. Did you ever do that?

Schroeder: Probably not.

Anderson: Big leaguer.

Schroeder: I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.

Anderson: Oh, you take — so, the stirrup is high. [Schroeder chuckles for some reason.] So you pull it down, then you loop it…

Schroeder: Right!

Anderson: …wrap it around your foot…

Schroeder: Gotcha.

Anderson: … and it brings it down into this position.

Schroeder: Doesn’t that bundle up under your foot?

Anderson: Well it does, but you, you’re more impressed with the aesthetics than you are with the…

Schroeder: Not when you’re catching.

Anderson: …the wad in your foot. That’s one of those things you probably didn’t have to deal with at Clemson, or in the majors.

Schroeder: Oh, yeah. I player high school ball. Remember?

Anderson: You did? I thought you went straight from Little League to Clemson.

==========

And from there things got seriously silly. Gotta admit, I’d never heard of the looping/bunching maneuver that Anderson described. Anyone else?

(Special thanks to reader Geoff Poole for alerting me to this one.)

Uni Watch News Ticker: Now you can urge the Mets to wear blue more often and help cure cancer at the same time. … A Cleveland-area drive-in movie theater won a restraining order against a local sports complex because of the latter’s bright lights (thanks, Vince). … Also from Vince: some really stupid flag-based shenanigans at Canton. … In 1953, the New York Giants toured Japan. This promotional belt buckle was produced for the occasion (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … Greg Riffenburgh spotted a particularly good shot of David Carr wearing tape instead of his wedding band, or tape over his wedding band (did we ever settle on which one it was?). … I think I’ve linked to this before, but just in case: Good visual history of the Cincinnati Bearcat mascot here (with thanks to Alan Kreit). … The Binghamton Mets will be holding a Star Trek Night promotion this Friday (with thanks to Mike Verna). … This list of MLBers discussing their walk-up music choices would be a lot better if they’d included Cliff Floyd explaining why he once chose the Sanford & Son theme (with thanks to Jon Alviani). … Further development on the uni advertising front (with thanks to Ryan Patrick). … In Tuesday’s France/Nigeria friendly match, French players wore Braille NOBs, in honor of Louis Braille’s 200th birthday (with thanks to Julien Papa). … Whoa, check out the Chargers’ white throwbacks! … John Okray notes that Jeff Soupan was having sleeve patch troubles the other day, although it was corrected later in the game. … Also from John: “PGA of America CEO Joe Steranka threw out the ceremonial first pitch at a recent Brewers game. He was there promoting the 2010 PGA Championship at Whistling Straits, and he had the PGA Championship trophy (the Wannamaker Trophy) behind the mound. Question is, how often do people bring out props, or trophies, or other things to the mound to throw out the first pitch?” … Dan Cichalski saw this small memorabilia display at the LL Bean flagship store in Freeport, Maine, last week. … I’ll be dealing with a family situation today, so Phil will be minding the store. Please treat him right. Thanks.

Quite a few of you have been sending me notes saying, more or less, “What’s with all the attention to Josh Outman and Corey Wimberly? Where’s the love for Brendan Ryan? His stirrups are striped, y’know!” Really? I hadn’t noticed!

As I’ve patiently explained to these people, I haven’t mentioned Ryan so much this season because (a) I’ve given him plenty of attention in past seasons, and (b) I wish he’d show more of his white sanitaries. But Mets announcers Gary Cohen and Ron Darling apparently had no such compunctions yesterday, as they used a Ryan at-bat in the bottom of the 7th as the launching point for a wide-ranging, often awkward discussion of lower-leg stylings. Here’s a transcript:

Ron Darling: This kid brings some nice energy to the ballclub, doesn’t he? Old-timer with those socks pulled up. I think those socks by the Cardinals have to be one of the best in baseball, don’t they?

Gary Cohen [apparently unaware of current uni specs in Boston]: Those and the Red Sox.

Darling [equally clueless]: Red Sox are good. Trying to think, who else..?

Cohen: Did you see, by the way, I was watching, uh, uh, I was watching part of the Yankees/Oakland game yesterday, and one of the kids for Oakland, I think it was Outman, was wearing the stirrups — the green with the gold? Oh my! It looked like a picture out of the ’60s!

Darling: That’s right. I, I, they’re great, because they have the sanitary socks for, I mean… Guys don’t wear it now. They more wear the kind of soccer kind of sock, which is all one color. You see Delgado has it on, Reyes have [sic] them on. But it is, I, I used to wear that, that green and gold, and it’s pretty funny. See look, they’re more like soccer socks now. Just one full sock that they wear under their uniform.

Cohen: Right, but generally, when guys wear stirrups, they’ve got white socks, white sanitary socks underneath the stirrups. But this is the gold sanitary sock under the green stirrup. I, I, I, I’ve never seen look. Not for a long time anyway.

Darling: I tell, I tell you the hardest thing about getting used to in going to Oakland was not only that, the gold sanitary sock, was the white shoe.

Cohen: Mmm, the white shoes, yeah. Well, you felt like Joe Namath.

Darling: Exac… [Chuckles so hard he can't complete the word.] By the way, when I was playing football, everyone had to get those Riddells that Joe Namath had.

Cohen: Joe Willie White Shoes. [Long pause; one can almost hear both men's brains recalibrating.] And then there was Billy White Shoes Johnson.

Darling [clearly relieved to have something to respond to]: There you go.

Cohen [wandering far off the reservation now]: Everyone wanted to spike the ball like Billy White Shoes Johnson.

Darling: You know what’s pretty funny is, is that, you know, the NFL has stopped all the, uh, uh celebrating, or tried to stop all the celebrating. I couldn’t wait for Billy White Shoes Johnson to score a touchdown.

Cohen: Well, that’s because it was unique. I think, you know, when it starts to become a little over the top, they had to rein it in.

Darling: You weren’t an Ickey Shuffle fan? [Chuckles heartily at this reference.]

Cohen: You know, but even that was cute at the time. But you know, when guys are retrieving cell phones from goalposts, it’s, y’know, it starts to get a little out of hand.

Darling: Signing the football?

Cohen: Yeah, exactly. [Both men snicker to themselves, very satisfied to have identified this cultural microtrend and established their superiority to it. A long pause ensues.]

Darling: My favorite, and I won’t remember his name, it’s too bad. He played for the Philadelphia Eagles, and he scored a touchdown, and he used the goalpost as a heavy bag. [Chuckles. Cohen chuckles back.] He just stood there and uppercutted the heavy bag. It was great.

Cohen: That’s great as long as you don’t break your hand. [Both men chuckle. Discussion moves on to other matters for about 70 seconds.]

Darling: I was given the name of the Eagle. It was Vai Sikahema.

Cohen [clearly nonplussed to be back on this topic]: Ah. I would’ve had trouble just pronouncing that name. [Darling laughs heartily. Discussion mercifully moves on to other topics.]

Uni Watch News Ticker: Remember Ozzie Guillen’s “OPD” cap from spring training? It sold for $400. … “Just wanted to let you in on the stupid way our baseball team at Marksville High (Marksville, La.) wears/ secures their pants,” writes Chris LaHaye. “Most started doing this last season and, sadly, it carried over to this year. No one can give me a good reason for wearing them like this except it looks ‘tight.’” Of course, once you see the team’s full uniforms, you realize that the pants are the least of their problems. … Oh. My. God. Details here (with thanks to Jim Ransdell). … “Versus did a piece about the Sutter brothers in between periods on Wednesday night, and they showed them in these Rawlings jerseys,” says Doug Keklak. “I hadn’t known that Rawlings actually made any hockey gear.” … Also from Doug: Check out this 1972 shot. “That’s the pee wee team that won the Greater Johnstown School District elementary school league. Apparently, uniforms weren’t a priority, as I’m pretty sure those numbers are made with tape!” says Doug. … The Oilers are redesignating their classic throwbacks as their primary home uni for next season. … A few days ago there was some chatter in the comments about the common use of red and blue on the electoral map, which is interesting in light of this photo — why are so many people wearing red? There was no mention of it in the article, so I did a bit of googling and learned that red is the color of the same-sex marriage movement in Maine. I am not trying to start a debate on the merits of same-sex marriage, so let’s not go there, thanks, but I do think it’s interesting that they’re using what’s usually thought of as the right-wing color to advocate what’s usually thought of as a left-wing cause. … John Grupp of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review interviewed me yesterday on the topic of Nyjer Morgan’s stirrups (I resisted the urge to suggest that he talk to Gary Cohen and Ron Darling). Article will run on Sunday, I’m told. … It’s that time of year again (courtesy of Matt Sajina). … Okay, I think the human race — or at least the advertising/marketing community — has now officially hit rock bottom (with thanks to Jim Roddy). … Lenny Dykstra, classy as always. Note the flapless Darren Daulton catcher’s helmet. Caption says the photo is from 1990, which was before the Daulton/Dykstra car crash, so it’s not like this was a “Sorry, dude” move or anything like that. Hmmmm (with thanks to Andrew Dixon). … Nicole Haase thinks she’s found the secret to Manny Parra’s problems. … Yesterday’s Jags coverage prompted this from Jared Pike: “I’ve been a Jaguars fan ever since they were announced in 1993, when family members bought season tickets right off the bat. As a result, they got insider newsletters, detailing the team’s early history (with interesting headlines like, ‘Jaguars Soon to Have Players’). Here’s one when they unveiled their new non-automotive logo and uniforms. The article claims that the uni is distinctive because it is the first ever to feature three-color numbers. Interesting, huh? Verifiable, maybe — but moot, since they’ve taken a step backwards with their new two-color numbers. I’ve also attached some promotional artwork, showing a prototype Jaguars helmet being raised in hypothetical victory, and a Sporting News cover showing the original uni design that was later scrapped.” … Ben Fortney sent me this shot from the 1981 World Series and asked if I knew what the patch was for. Answer: That’s the Los Angeles bicentennial patch that the Dodgers wore that season. … Joe Alvaro tried his hand at a NYC logo mash-up. Here’s a version in which he swapped out the Knicks in favor of the Giants. … Now that’s a program cover. Lots of similarly wonderful CFL programs displayed here and here (big thanks to Terry Paffenroth). … In a remarkable feat of glandular control, Ex-Phillie Kevin Millwood has managed to create a Harry Kalas memorial sweatstain on his cap.

Last week there was a brief thread in the comments about an interesting point brought up during a recent Penguins/Capitals game broadcast on FSN. It took a while, but I’ve finally got the full transcript of what was said by “between the benches” reporter Bob Errey and play-by-play man Paul Steigerwald. Their discussion was prompted by the sight of Sidney Crosby relacing his skates on the Pens’ bench. Here’s how it went down:

Bob Errey: Crosby, he’s gonna miss that second loop. See how he’s doing that skate up? The eyelets start from the top and heading down, he skips the second one down from the top. Very strange.

Paul Steigerwald: And you get to see that from right next to him. So you’ve got a real good idea of exactly how Sidney Crosby laces his skates, which is not something you normally would talk about on the air. But that’s a pretty good one, Bobby.

Errey: Yeah, yeah, well, you know we used to have Troy Loney [on the Penguins], he had the Velcro straps that went around the top, those first things. There are a lot of people that get lace bite. That’s when sometimes you get the tendonitis right there, right where you lace up the skates, so Troy went with that model.

Faaaaaascinating. Coupla things here:

• If you look at photos of Crosby, it appears that he does indeed skip the second grommet on his skates.

• Photos of Troy Loney are harder to come by. I could only find two vaguely decent shots, here and here. Can’t see any Velcro straps, but it does seem that the laces don’t go all the way to the top.

• I wasn’t familiar with the excellent term “lace bite” (much cooler than “turf toe” or “hip pointer,” no?), but there’s lots of info about it on the web. Do other players cope with this by adjusting their lacing patterns like Crosby does?

Raffle Reminder: Today’s the last day to enter the raffle for a free poster from Historic Football Posters. For details, look here. I’ll announce the winner tomorrow.

Party Reminder: Uni Watch gathering this Saturday, 2pm, at Sheep Station in Brooklyn. MLB logo designer Jerry Dior will be there, along with Phil, Ek, and myself, blah-blah-blah, see you there, the end.

Uni Watch News Ticker: The Royals will have a 40th-anniversary patch this season. … My old college buddy Jeff Katz is now the deputy mayor of Cooperstown, which means, among other things, that he frequently gets to poke around in the Baseball Hall of Fame’s archives. He recently took photos of this Bobby Avila Indians jacket and Greg Harris’s ambidextrous glove. … Here’s another NFL basketball team: the Steelers. And look — video! (Big thanks to Andrew Rhodes.) … Reprinted from Monday’s comments: Carlos Delgado plans to honor Roberto Clemente for the World Baseball Classic. … Looks like the orange layer of fabric fell off of Frank Robinson’s dotted i during Game 5 of the 1969 World Series (good spot by Paul Wiederecht). … According to this blog, the Islanders are “working with the NHL to clear their vintage mid-’70s jerseys as their primary uniform for next season. It figures to be an uphill battle, probably because there’s inventory of their first RBK uniform ’systems’ still around. Nevertheless, the Islanders are pushing to make the move. Worse-case scenario: the Islanders wear their once-and-future jerseys for 20 games next year and then go full-time in 2010-11″ (as forwarded by Matt Brosseau). … Ever heard of ski cross? Yeah, me neither, but apparently they’ve got a bit of an apparel controversy (interesting find by Jeremy Brahm). … There hasn’t been a football game a Wrigley Field in nearly 40 years — but that could change (with thanks to Doug Keklak). … Nice view of Jack Youngblood’s FNOB here (with thanks to Brett Jenson). … Here’s a new one: All-Star throwbacks. The Philadelphia Phantoms wore those uniforms last Sunday to honor the 1976 NHL All Star game, which was played at the Spectrum. Chris Ashworth took a bunch of photos, which you can see here. … Some female pro wrestler wore a modified Blackhawks jersey the other day (with thanks to Mark Coale). … The BJ League (no jokes, thanks) has released its all-star uniforms (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … Also from Jeremy: Check out this player with a single-letter NOB. “His name is Kazuya Hatano,” says Jeremy. “He was born in Brazil to a Japanese father with a Brazilian mother. His full name is James Kazuya Ramos Hatano, and his nickname is ‘J.’ Another BJ League player, Saitama Broncos Taishiro Shimizu uses ‘T,’ and Gordon James wears ‘G.’” … Great article-plus-video here about the Banknorth Garden hosting a Bruins game and a Celtics gamein the same day (with thanks to Justine DeCotis). … The NHL All-Star Game will feature new officials’ uniforms. I’ll have images of them in my ESPN column tomorrow. … Speaking of the NHL All-Star Game, you can see a survey of past all-star player introductions here (thanks, Phil), and there’s a gallery of NHL All-Star uniforms here. … Also from Phil: Joe Johnson and Mike Bibby of the Hawks wore special sneakers last night to mark the presidential inauguration, although it’s hard to see many details in these photos. … Doug Keklak attended last night’s Pitt/Syracuse game and took the occasion to take a bunch of photos of the Pitt Hall of Fame museum. “It looks like Pitt’s women can be added to the list of teams that went with sleeves,” he writes. “Also, check out this shot from the 1984-85 varsity sports media guide — sleeved and untucked. And look at this shot from the 1928 Rose Bowl — look how close to the sideline the play is at the snap of the ball.” The rest of Doug’s photos are in this gallery. … Southpaw.

I know for a fact that several MLB broadcasters read Uni Watch. One of them, who I won’t name here, occasionally trades e-mails with me during games. To my knowledge, however, neither my ESPN column nor this site has ever been mentioned during an MLB broadcast.

Until yesterday, that is. Apparently someone informed Cubbies play-by-play man Len Kasper (that’s him on the left in the photo shown above) that I’d run a transcript of his recent uni-centric banter with color man Bob Brenly (on the right), and at least one of them was rather amused by the whole thing. Here’s how it went down during the bottom of the 6th in yesterday’s Cubs/Astros game:

Kasper: Hey, Bob, we have a follow-up from our weekend conversation about Doug Mientkiewicz and his uniform, and the buttons. The Astros have the same setup as the Pirates, and pretty much every team in baseball. You see how it’s unevenly spaced — they have the two buttons at the top, but then they leave space for the “Houston.” That’s called pro buttoning — there’s actually a name for it. The folks at UniWatchBlog.com put up a transcript of our conversation…

Brenly [chuckling]: Oh, geez…

Kasper: … about Doug Mientkiewicz. So that’s the pro button style. And the Cubs’ home pinstripes, and the blue alternate tops, which they are wearing [today], are the only ones in baseball that are not of the pro button style. You see, it’s evenly spaced, because they don’t have a team name across the middle. There was a big article on ESPN.com about uniform styles back in late May. So thanks to the folks at UniWatchBlog.com for noticing. I didn’t know that, that it had a name — pro button.

Brenly [sounding mildly impatient with the topic]: Why should you know that?

Kasper: And what can happen with the pro button style is billowing, meaning the uniform goes out a little bit because there’s a big space between the second and third buttons. I don’t know if billowing was a problem for you when you played, but it’s an epidemic around the game today.

Brenly [very sarcastically]: Oh, what are we gonna do? [Camera shows close-up of Astros jersey.]

Kasper: Now, they — do they have a little Velcro in there, keeping the “Houston” together? Some teams have that, too. [Hitter strikes out, briefly necessitating some actual game commentary.] Called strike three. [Now back to important matters.] There’s all kinds of stuff like this on the internet.

Brenly [with an exasperated chuckle of barely concealed disgust]: Okay.

Kasper [on a roll now]: Everything you need to know about baseball uniforms. The Phillies had the zippers, right? [Director inexplicably chooses to show a dachsund outside the stadium.] That dog’s not that interested.

Brenly [with an air of what he clearly hopes will be finality]: All I know is I was happy every day I got to the ballpark and there was one hanging in my locker. They could’ve taken all the buttons off of it. Could’ve had one big button right in the middle, I didn’t care, as long as there was one hanging in my locker.

Kasper [apparently skimming through the aforementioned ESPN column]: I guess the Washington Nationals’ red alternate uniforms also do not have the pro button style. So we’ll have to ask Doug Mientkiewicz if he’s a fan of that particular style.

—————

And that’s where that particular bit of discourse ended. The funny thing is, Brenly’s the one who first brought up Mienkiewicz’s buttons last weekend, and he’s also the one who suggested that the Pirates’ jerseys could use some Velcro. But I guess he just wasn’t in the mood yesterday.

Anyway: I assume someone will bring today’s entry to Kasper’s attention. So hey, Len, get in touch — I’ve got a Uni Watch membership card with your name on it. And there’s one for you too, Bob, but only if you stop being so uni-grouchy.

Raffle Reminder: Remember, there’s soccer raffle currently underway. If you haven’t already entered, look here.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Looks like the new OKC team’s new name is out of the bag. … The USA women’s soccer team usually wears the national soccer crest on their chest (here’s a clearer view) and shorts. But in yesterday’s Olympic opener against Norway, they were crest-free on both their jerseys and shorts, so the only visible mark on the uniforms was, well, guess. … The 2008 World Series logo and 2009 All-Star Game logo have been released. The ASG design clearly wins, since it has two “TM” marks and two circle-R marks (plus a sternum-level Majestic logo if you want a T-shirt), while the World Series logo has two circle-Rs but only one TM. So the ASG legal team wins home-field advantage in this year’s “Whose Lawyers Are Bigger Douchebags?” sweepstakes. … While we’re at it, Ryan C. Johnston was at Busch Stadium the day the ASG logo was unveiled and took some pics of the ceremonies, which I’ve gathered into this slideshow. Seems like a bit much for a logo for an exhibition game, no? … Tom Shieber notes that Robinson Cano’s memorial armband for Bobby Murcer was missing on Monday night. … Shieber also reports that he’s made a change to the “Dressed to the Nines” exhibit: “On the section devoted to ‘Names and Numbers,’ I’ve changed the table detailing retired numbers to include (as best as I can determine) the exact date when each number was retired. There are still a few question marks and entries in which the date is ‘unknown,’ but happily I’ve managed to track down the vast majority. Additions, corrections, suggestions are most welcome.” … Did the Durham Bulls once wear satin jerseys or BP tops? To see why I ask, look here and here (with thanks to Jay Sandora). … In addition to those new Syracuse jerseys, there will also be a new helmet, with white outlining on the “S” and the return of the white center stripe. Good analysis of the school’s overall changes here. … Interesting note from decal guru Chris Willis regarding the thin plastic film on this helmet: “There’s actually a decal across the front of the helmet that works the same way the plastic on a new phone/ipod/electronics item does. It’s called a Gouge-Gard, and it’s marketed by Creative Football Concepts out of New Jersey. It’s a clear decal that’s cut so that it will conform to the shape of the helmet and it is used mostly for training camp and preseason to protect the front of the helmet from getting gouged up too quickly, especially if it’s a painted helmet. The equipment guys have enough to do during camp.” … According to this page, there are rumors (and I stress that there’s nothing more solid than that) that Nike wants USC to wear black jerseys against Ohio State (with thanks to Glenn Tanner). … “At first glance,” says Greg Riffenburgh, “this Adidas template doesn’t look so bad. A little weird, maybe, but there have definitely been worse. Then I saw this. And this.” … Reprinted from yesterday’s comments: Jaw-droppingly great photo of Paul Hornung. … Another great old Otis Shepard program cover for the Cubs here (with thanks to Andrew Tanker). … I’m all in favor of high cuffs, but not if they’re so high that your stirrups’ laundry tag is exposed. … Good article here about Michigan’s transition from Nike to Adidas (with thanks to Greg DiLeo). … Here’s something you don’t often see: a gallery of Nebraska media guides from 1964-1990 (nice find by Brian Hansen). … The WHA’s Chicago Cougars’ home jersey looked like this, but for years Matt Mallonee thought it looked like this (closer views here and here). Here’s why: “This sweater has been in my family for quite some time, first with my uncle then my dad. My dad said they used to go to games at the old Barn when he was a kid, and at some point they bought this sweater. He was sure it was what the players wore, and I had no reason to doubt him. However, one day I got curious and looked the Cougars up. Well, he was only 11 or 12 at the time, so I can forgive him. In actuality, the cougar on the sweater is wearing the team’s actual design!” Man, that is a fantastic design. Anyone know more about this item? … The Reebok logo on the Steelers’ pants has always looked like this, but Brinke Guthrie notes that it now apparently looks like this, which is not what I’d call an improvement, unless you’re a Reebok shareholder. … Michigan State has added a pants stripe. … Who knew Rudy Giuliani played hockey? … As most of you know, I tend to prefer fun logo mascots over snarly ones. But not everyone agrees (with thanks to Matt Monsour). … Check out this shot of Nolan Ryan. He always batted right-handed, so why is he wearing a lefty batting helmet in that photo? Maybe it’s a double-flapper? … FNOB alert from Matt Englander: “Matt Elliott had FNOB as a member of the Michigan Wolverines in the early ’90s (that shot is from the 1990 UM vs. OSU game). I am guessing he had to do so because Jumbo Elliott was also on the squad at that time. He was later selected at the very end of the 1992 NFL draft, a true Mr. Irrelevant who achieved relevancy by wearing his entire name on the back of his jersey.” … Remember that “10 Worst Philly Uniforms” list? Here’s its 10 best counterpart (with thanks to Pete Salveson). … Amusing Yet Appalling Dept.: Here’s a story about a guy obsessed with finding a “Patriots 19-0″ T-shirt (with thanks to Daniel Ostroff-Moskowitz). … Rare non-Wisconsin-related report from Nicole Haase, who writes: “So I’m watching Project Runway tonight, and the challenge is to create an outfit for the team to wear for the opening ceremony. They go to a place called the Armory and meet with Apolo Anton Ohno, who’s tells them this is the challenge and then invites them to go look at a museum there that has a history of Americans in the Olympics. Looks like your kind of place — the little that they showed in the episode made me want to go there, like, NOW. I actually turned on my laptop just to send this to you, so I did a quick google search and didn’t come up with anything, but hopefully you know what this place is, because if you haven’t been there, it seems to me you have to go. And hopefully they have maybe this new place (which is right here in NYC, but I haven’t gotten around to checking it out yet)? … “I’ve always been a big hat collector,” writes Tim Stoops. “Imagine the tribbles in Star Trek, only with hats, and you have my room. So in March I started taking daily pictures of each one and posting them on Flickr. I’m up 147.” … Nevada’s helmets have apparently changed from this to this. I assume there’s a corresponding uniform change, but I haven’t seen pics of that yet (with thanks to Mike Etheridge). … There are two new books about branding that tie in with a lot of my gripes about logo creep. The first is Steve Heller’s Iron Fists: Branding in the 20th-Century Totalitarian State, which finds parallels between Hitler’s, Mao’s, Mussolini’s, and Stalin’s propaganda machines and modern marketing/branding applications (and no, I’m not comparing Phil Knight to Hitler, so calm down). I just got a copy of this and hope to write about it soon, but for now there’s an insightful review and some great artwork here. The second book is Lucas Conley’s OBD: Obsessive Branding Disorder. Lots of reviews here, and you can see Conley doing a good interview with Stephen Colbert below (with thanks to Joe Alviani for tipping me wise to the video clip):

I don’t know how many Atlanta Braves fans have ever heard of Uni Watch. But the Atlanta audience got a condensed version of Uni Watch 101 on Monday, courtesy of Braves announcers Jon Scambi and Joe Simpson, who engaged in a bit of uni-related chatter during the bottom of the 9th. They began by discussing the Diamondbacks’ color scheme:

Jon Scambi: Remember when they were a purple-based team? Used to wear those Sunday purple tops, and it was like they were on an Easter egg hunt, or honoring Barney.

Joe Simpson: Yeah, they went with that turquoise-looking thing. With the squashbuckle-lookiing, uh, outfits. [I played this back several times, and yes, he definitely said, "squashbuckle." -- PL] Somehow Matt Williams, Jay Bell, that just didn’t fit with their days of wearing a lot of black with the Giants and Pirates.

Scambi: But it is — as much as lavender doesn’t strike the fear of god into your opponent, changing your color scheme for a franchise is not something you see very often.

Simpson: No, it’s not. But I’m so opposed to all these teams that never before had black in their color schemes suddenly wearing black jerseys and hats. The Mets, especially. That black and blue thing they wear, that’s like a big bruise.

Scambi: No, I’m with you, and you see it in college sports as well.

Simpson: Kansas City Royals broke out some black stuff. They’re not black! And two teams in the American League West — Texas and Anaheim — those two teams never could figure out what color they were.

Sciambi: Your Oklahoma Sooners have rocked some black baseball jerseys recently, haven’t they?

Simpson: Last year, for the Big 12 Tournament. That did not go over well.

Sciambi: I don’t know if you’re aware, but Oklahoma State, one of their main colors is black.

Simpson: Yeah. Yeah, we kinda knew that. I think the only people who really appreciated those black jerseys at Oklahoma were the people who were getting checks from Nike to wear them.

Sciambi: Yours was lost in the mail?

Simpson: Oh, brother.

Sciambi: You know, we’ve been asking whether the Braves could wear the blue [alternate road jerseys] at home. I’ve been asking, and they said, “Ahh, we’re not sure.” But the one thing that I fogot is, the blue jersey says, “Atlanta.”

Sciambi seemed to be implying that the blue alts wouldn’t be appropriate at home, because the insignia reads “Atlanta” instead of “Braves,” but we’ll never know for sure, because at that point the game’s events took precedence.

As if that wasn’t enough, the Mets’ announcers had a spirited equipment-related discussion last night. It began with this question:

Keith Hernandez: My advantage was growing up in San Francisco. If you ever took BP in those cold, damp afternoons, you had to really make sure you made good contact. And I think that helped me. I never liked gloves because there was always some movement. [Camera shows a 1980s shot of a bare-handed Hernandez.] Look at that — beautiful stance. [Other broadcasters cackle in mock disbelief.] Anyway, the gloves always move…

Ron Darling: Yeah.

Hernandez: … a little bit. And I liked to have — when I grabbed that bat, I wanted that bat — I used pine tar and resin — I wanted that bat in my hand and it didn’t make any — I had control of it. I didn’t want any movement. That’s why I never liked golfing, with the gloves? Hate it. I hate it.

Gary Cohen [restoring some semblance of direct communication]: Why do you think it is now that virtually everyone uses gloves? I mean, there are a few exceptions, Moises Alou being one of them.

Darling: Well, part of it is that they get paid to wear ’em. That’s part of it.

Hernandez: Big contract.

Darling: There’s very few, I mean, uh — Moises Alou doesn’t use batting gloves.

Cohen: Vladimir Guerrero. But there are not many.

Darling: Plus, Gary, I think for this generation of player, I think it’s, y’know, part of the styling, y’know, it’s part of, y’know, looking good.

Hernandez: I think it’s style. Because you’re using aluminum bats when you’re young, so you, you don’t get jammed and get the bees like wood. So why do you need gloves?

Cohen: I don’t know, I’m asking you the question.

Hernandez: I just think it’s style. Style points.

Cohen: I mean, guys use golf gloves to avoid blisters, right?

Darling: Yeah, the blisters are bad. But you do want to, in spring training, whether you use gloves or not, you want to build up those callouses, don’t you Keith, to make those hands tough?

Hernandez: Yeah. I never hit in the off-season, so I’d come in completely, five months without swinging a bat. And no timing. Soft hands. And I’d lose all my callouses. And I’d know coming into spring training that I was going to get blisters. And it’d be a pain in the neck — within the first week of spring training, with BP, I would be putting — I’d have five, six blisters. And, y’know, you have to sit there, you have to put the Tuff Skin on, and, uh — I don’t know if they still have Tuff Skin. [They do. -- PL] Band-Aid, and then the adhesive tape over it. Then your hands toughen up and you’re good to go.

Darling: I also remember watching you after games, didn’t you used to take alcohol and rub some of the pine tar off your hands?

Hernandez: Off my hands, and I’d clean my bat. Because you weren’t allowed to have pine tar above the label.

Darling: George Brett knew that.

Cohen: He found that out. [The three men share a self-congratulatory chuckle, impressed by their own knowledge of this highly obscure chapter in MLB history.]

Hernandez: Gregg Jefferies did that. After every game, Gregg Jefferies, he lockered next to me when he came up, and he would clean his bat after every game. I wouldn’t do it till the next day.

And with that we bid a fond adieu to the broadcast both, at least for now.

(Thanks to Josh Williams for alerting me to the Braves sequence.)

Uni Watch News Ticker: Great socks being worn by the Meiji University baseball team (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … Also from Jeremy: The NPB All-Star Game logo and uniforms have been unveiled. … Reprinted from yesterday’s comments: You probably knew the MLB honchos were a bunch of Scrooges, but this really seals it. … Also from yesterday: full-body view of Varitek’s Memorial Day camouflage gear (which is now up for auction). … Chris Markham was at the Colorado Sports Museum at Invesco Field over the weekend and took a snapshot of this AFL ref jersey. … The CFL is changing the look of its officials from this to this. “It’s a very interesting design,” says a reader who prefers to remain anonymous. “First, the use of the two-inch stripe pattern, previously only used by the NFL, AFL, and semi-pro leagues. The CFL has historically used one-inch stripes like everyone else. Second, the black sleeves, which makes them look like they’ve wearing one of Ed Hochuli’s tank tops over a black undershirt. The black pocket on the shirt is in the style of the current NFL bendy-stripes design, and they’ve also added black trim down the legs of the knickers and on the back pocket flap. They’re planning to retain its idiosyncratic hat stylings, with the referee wearing a black hat and the others wearing white (but in the unusual “reversed-black-hat” design unique to Canada). Finally, it’s possible that they may be abandoning stirrup socks (as of last season, they were the only major group of football officials still using them; almost everyone else went one-piece some time ago).” … Awesome sock stylings being exhibited by New Mexico Junior College (with thanks to Rob Montoya). … “I stumbled upon this while bored at work and immediately thought of you,” writes Tim Ring. “It’s a baseball-like game called pesäpallo, which is apparently quite popular in Finland. The uniforms are, well, see for yourself.” … Tyler Kepner reports that Bobby Abreu was wearing Mariano Rivera’s spikes during BP last night (”or at least he had a big 42 on the flap over the shoelaces,” he adds). … Last year I wrote about some of the cool Colt .45s-related content on the Astros Daily blog. But now James Poisso has pointed me toward this page, which is the mother freakin’ lode of Colt .45s material. I don’t know who the webmaster is, but he’s got everything you could want and more: cards, patches, a mosaic, player photos, team portraits, coins, fight songs (a 45 of the .45s!), ticket stubs, parking passes, a recruiting poster, programs, seating charts, media guides, press passes, business cards, letterhead, and more — a lot more. Have fun wasting your whole day on this one. … Good account here of Paulie Malignaggi’s recent ponytail follies. … Jeremy Brahm has found an excellent Australian rules football uniform site, where he’s already uncovered an interesting tidbit: “Remember when the Reds changed their name to the Redlegs during the McCarthy years? Well, St. Kilda Football Club in Australia’s Football League wore black, red, and white stripes before World War I, but those colors matched Germany’s, so the team changed its white to yellow. It was not until 1923 that the team restored white to its color scheme.” … Spring training game last night in Cleveland. … “The New Hampshire Fishercats (ugh, they should be the Primaries!) are wearing special uniforms on June 5th, honoring a Manchester policeman, Michael Briggs, who was shot in the line of duty in 2006,” reports Jeff Richards. “The #83 on the sleeve was his badge number.” … Reprinted from last night’s comments: The Mets wore blue caps and sleeves last night, which means they also should have been wearing blue socks. But Luis Castillo had black socks, at least during pregame stretching. He pulled his pants down to his shoetops once the game started, so it’s kinda moot, but still. … Here’s a new one: Jimmy Gobble was wearing his undershirt backwards on the mound last night (thanks to Dan Merker for the tip). … I’ve frequently run photos of early football players wearing nose protectors. Until now, however, I’d never seen a helmet with a nose protector built in. That image comes from this catalog up for sale on eBay. … Lots of other uniform catalogs currently on eBay — look here, here, and here. … And some interesting patches here and here. … Mike Klug had a very good seat last Thursday at Yankee Stadium and got photo of A-Rod that appears to show a big wad of gum on his thigh. … People who say the Mets kept Willie mainly because there were no good replacements available clearly haven’t seen this photo.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, so MLB diamonds were awash in pink jersey ribbons, pink armbands (note how the Cool Base gussets ruin the pinstripes, by the way), pink-accessorized umpires, pink titanium necklaces, pink catcher’s gear, pink shoelaces, pink facial hair, and pink bats. I’d like to think that at least one stadium music director was enterprising enough to play the album shown at right (if you don’t recognize it, look here), but somehow I doubt it.

By now you know the drill: I dislike the pink-o-rama, Minna H. really dislikes it, and most of the rest of you are okay with it. Fine — let’s move on.

Fortunately, Mets announcers Gary Cohen and Keith Hernandez provided an extended session of uni-related banter yesterday, and it was almost pink-free. Their discussion was prompted by the fact that the team’s local broadcast affiliate has been running an internet poll to let fans vote on the Mets’ all-time best uniform. Good poll, topic, right? Or it would have been, if they hadn’t limited the choices to very small sampling of the various designs the Mets have worn over the years. Anyway, the discussion was actually pretty good — let’s listen in:

Keith Hernandez: I know what my pick would be.

Gary Cohen: What is that?

KH: I love the Mets’ old road uniforms. We had to wear those darn ones with the handwriting. Remember, the “New York” handwriting?

GC: The script.

KH: I must say, I get jealous whenever I see this team out here, the present Mets, when they go on the road and play in the old-fashioned Met uniform. I never got to play in that uniform. They’re beautiful.

GC [who apparently either doesn't notice or doesn't care about black drop shadows]: They’re a classic. And I like this pinstripe, the one they wear now, as opposed to the one they wore right at the beginning of the Mets, which did not have the numbers on the front. It’s always a bit disconcerting to me to see the uniforms with no number on the front. But these are perfect.

KH [as the director cues up a 1980s shot]: There we go, look at that. I mean, please.

GC [who also apparently wasn't listening to what Hernandez had said a few moments earlier]: Well, the worst ones were the ones with the script “New York.” Remember those?

KH: Look at that Astro uniform behind, there. That was a stinker. [Helpfully telestrates the uniform in question, just in case anyone is missing the point.] Look at that — what a stinker that was!

GC [chuckling]: But those were their traditional ugly uniforms. I mean, you have to admit, the late ’70s into the ’80s was the worst-ever era for baseball uniforms. Probably for fashion in general.

KH: The Padres had a terrible uniform. But I loved the Oakland A’s uniforms, with Charlie O. Finley. Ronnie [Darling] does not, our colleague.

GC: He didn’t like wearing the white shoes [when he played for the A's late in his career]. But there was nothing worse than, say, the Chicago White Sox wearing shorts.

KH: Yes, and how about the Pirates in those bumblebee uniforms.

GC: But the Pirates had those interchangeable ones. They had the black, the gold, and the pinstripes, and they’d wear them in various combinations.

KH: They were awful, awful. Awful.

GC: Now, everybody today is wearing pink because it’s Mother’s Day. [Camera shows a shot of Cohen, who's wearing a pink tie, and Hernandez, dressed in a pink shirt.] Maybe a team needs to go to an alternate pink uniform.

KH: Well, we’ve got to expand to more teams. Commissioner, we need one more team, and we’ll be in pink.

GC: I don’t think you really want that.

KH [about to get seriously stupid]: Why?

GC [alertly heading him off]: And then, of course — and you were part of this, too — you had the powder blue road uniforms, which you wore with th–

KH [interjecting]: I liked the powder blue with the Cardinals!

GC: Yeah?

KH: I have my powder blue at home, as a matter of fact. I have that uniform. Um, in 1980, the year Whitey Herzog took over the team — Ken Boyer was fired mid-season — that was when — you’re talking about the Mets not having the number on the lower side? The Cardinals that year took that number away, below the cardinal, and put it on our shoulder. [Actually, that was made a year earlier, in 1979, which you'd think Hernandez would remember -- it's the year he won the MVP award.] And the fans didn’t like it at all, so they went back to the traditional Cardinal uniform. Actually, the Cardinals — I think it was in the ’40s — one year they went to a uniform without the bird on the bat. [1956, actually.] And the fans went through the roof! And they came back the next year with the birds on the bat, which I think is just a classic uniform. As a minor leaguer coming up in the Cardinals organization, you were taught to have great pride in those two birds perched on the bat.

GC: Did they have names?

KH: No.

GC: Don’t you think they should, after all these years?

KH: Dizzy and Daffy?

GC: That’d be perfect. Gus and Gussie.

And then the discussion turned to, you know, things that were actually taking place on the field. All in all, not a bad discussion, and I give Hernandez credit for knowing that the Cards went birds/bat-less for one season. What’s more troubling is that nobody connected with the Mets — nobody — ever acknowledges the evil of the black drop shadows. The road and pinstripe uniforms are routinely referred to as “classic,” when in fact they’re bastardized versions of the originals. Pfeh.

Raffle News: Remember, I’m raffling off a free football helmet from Helmet Hut. To enter, send an e-mail here (not to the usual Uni Watch e-mail address) by 10pm tomorrow. One entry per person. But contrary to what I originally announced, enrollees in the membership program will get the customary three bonus entries per member (don’t send three extra e-mails — I’ll automatically put your name in the hat three extra times). My thanks to the several readers who argued, persuasively, that it was unfair to remove the raffle benefit. From now on, the extra raffle entries will be restored as a standard membership benefit.

Uni Watch Extra-Curricular Schedule: NYC-area readers may want to mark their calendars for May 29th, when I’ll be participating in an evening of readings at KGB Bar in the East Village. The theme is “Design and Food” (the latest in a bi-monthly series of design-related readings sponsored by the School of Visual Arts — past installments have included “Design and Evil” and “Design and Music”), and my presentation will focus on the design evolution of the butchery chart, a subject near and dear to my heart stomach.

One of the other readers will be the design critic Akiko Busch, who I’m told will be reading a piece she wrote about a vegetable peeler (wish I’d thought of that). And the third reader — not yet confirmed but I’m told he’ll probably be on board — is a genuine titan of the graphic design world, Milton Glaser! If you’re a design geek, like I am, you can imagine how stoked I am to be sharing a bill with him. Very cool.

The event will run from 7pm-9pm, and it’s free. Hope to see some of you there.

And then a week after that, on June 5th, the Camden Riversharks will be running their “Old-Time Baseball Night” promotion. The entire team will be wearing striped stirrups (I picked them out for the team myself just last week), and I’ll be throwing out the first pitch, plus there’ll be a special pregame gathering for Uni Watch readers. And all Uni Watch readers will be able to buy box seats (normally priced from $11 to $20) for $8 apiece.

Here’s how to take advantage of the discounted ticket price:

• First, go to this link. You’ll see the Riversharks’ May schedule.

• Then use the drop-down menu to choose “June 2008.” Once you’ve done that, click on the June 5th game. And then click on “Let me pick my seats from a seating chart.” You should then see a diagram of the Sharks’ stadium.

• See the teal seats right behind home plate, and the yellow seats extending down the baselines? All of those seats are available for the $8 price. Just click on the section you want and choose your tickets from the resulting “Eligible for Sale” seat listing.

• When you select your seats and click “Add to Cart,” the screen will initially show the regular ticket price. But when checking out, enter the promotional code “stirrups” in the appropriate field, and you’ll get the special $8 Uni Watch price. Whoo-hoo!

Uni Watch News Ticker: Check out Nick Swisher’s underbill inscription — it refers to his nickname, Dirty 30. … Speaking of underbills, many readers have noted that Bronson Arroyo is still using a gray model. … Bill Curran sent along some non-sports logos that probably should’ve gone back to the drawing board — look here, here, here, and here. … Follow-up on Thursday’s entry: Good info on silver-bar umpire masks here (with thanks to Neal Greenberg). … Nice little item on stirrups in the New York Times, complete with a photo-linked shout-out to yours truly (although I had nothing to do with he piece). … Here’s a new one: Several readers have noted that John Maine appeared to have his ears tucked into his cap the other day. … I haven’t been paying attention to the NBA playoffs, so I don’t know why Chris Paul has “Brian!” written on his sneakers, but I assume most of you do (photo courtesy of Chris Flinn). … Latest Shorpy gem: Check out those jackets being worn by the 1914 Philadelphia A’s (with thanks to Bob Andrews). … Honda F1 driver Rubens Barrichello had a special helmet design and car paint job for his 257th start on Sunday, which is the record for starts by an F1 driver (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm). … Interesting discussion here about lacrosse officiating uniforms. … Good breakdown of Euro 2008 road kits here (with thanks to Max Rosenthal). … Creative use of baseball gloves here (blame Ryan Gray). … Interesting sleeve-patch dispatch from Jeff Barak, who writes: “Several sources, including Bill Henderson’s CD, list the Twins’ 25th-anniversary patch as having been worn in the 1985 season, probably because it has ‘1961-1985′ right on it. But I think it was actually worn in 1986. Here are some things to back that up: First is a game-worn 1986 jersey with the 25th-anniversary patch on it. Here’s another 1986 gamer, also with the patch. Next up is a 1985 Kent Hrbek jersey without the patch. And here’s a 1986 team-issued card set that features the same logo as the one on the patch.” … In sports, as in life, it’s important to not lose your head (with thanks to Brinke Guthrie). … “I was flipping through channels the other day and saw the German Bundesliga game between Wolfsburg and Bayern Munich,” writes Jeremy Brahm. “Wolfsburg player Marcelinho dyed the Wolfsburg logo into his hair (here’s a closer view).” On other occasions, he’s dyed his hair red and Belgian-themed (which was a mistake — he wanted it to be German-themed but got the colors wrong). … Yikes. … “Looks like Nate Burleson is using those titanium elbow sleeves, popular among baseball players, as calf warmers,” notes Jonathon Binet). … Just what the world needs: a Gillette-sponsored zamboni, as seen in Boston (with thanks to William Sodeman). … Last Thursday I linked to this photo Randy Johnson wearing No. 34 in 1993 but didn’t explain why he briefly wore that number instead of his usual No. 51. The reason, as noted in this story, is that he wore 34 for his final start of the ’93 season as a tribute to Nolan Ryan, who’d suffered a career-ending injury a few days earlier (nice find by Matthew Buscemi). … If he hadn’t already been banned for other reasons, I’d say Pete Rose should be banned for having worn a mesh-backed cap (with thanks to Greg Riffenburgh). … Mark Mihalik notes that Kaz Matsui has some seriously padded baserunning gloves. “They’re basically this batting gloves with some crazy padding (similar to soccer goalie gloves) added to the palm and fingers, and they seem to slip over his normal batting gloves,” he writes. “I’m guessing that the first base coach keeps them handy until Kaz reaches base.” … Lots of good observations from Mike Engle: an undertongue-inscriped uni number; Albert Belle’s “50-50″ batting glove vanity strap (presumably added after his 1995 season of 50 homers and 50 doubles); and Tony Parker’s “VII VII VII” ring finger tattoo (he was married on 7/7/07). … Douglas Mulliken notes that the “LA” cap logo in this photo appears to have been raised/3-D/etc., way back in 1977. Was this a common thing back then? I thought the raised cap logos didn’t start showing up until the 1990s. … Giants rookie Kenny Phillips is wearing No. 21 as a tribute to Sean Taylor (with thanks to Alan Kreit). … Jay Winkler notes that Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s car has a throwback Mountain Dew logo. … Several readers noted that yesterday’s rain delay gave WGN an excuse to broadcast footage from Jim Maloney’s 1965 no-hitter, which provided excellent views of the Reds’ subscript NOBs. For those unfamiliar with this style, additional examples are shown on this page (click on the Nuxhall and Rose thumbnails). It’s also worth noting that reader Ryan Whitacre used this style as the basis of his membership card. … “I’ve never seen an E for a baseball player number,” writes Jeremy Brahm. “Hopefully it meant he was an everyday player, not an error on every play. The picture, which is from 1949, is of Hiroshi Ohshita, who played for the Tokyu Flyers at the time. … Also from Jeremy: Golfer Miho Koga has problems with pollen and has been wearing a mask on the course. … Still more from Jeremy: Marco Andretti’s car is being sponsored by the new Indiana Jones film, so they’ve designed a new driving suit for him. … And one more: “In 2005, Japan’s Environmental ministry promoted its ‘Team Minus 6%’ Global Warming Campaign, which led to a promotional jersey with minus-6 as a uniform number.” … Goaltender observation from Jim Neilly: “Marty Turco has been wearing two goalie helmets throughout the playoffs; a black helmet at home and a white one on the road. I can’t recall any goalie doing this before. What’s more interesting is that at some point this season he wore the black helmet with the white road sweater. So did he begin this helmet-swapping just for the postseason? Have any other goalies done this before?”

We’ve been so busy with team sports over the past month or so (stretch-run baseball, the start of the NFL and college football seasons, the relentless flood of new NHL designs) that I completely ignored the U.S. Open tennis tourney. And that’s a shame, because we happen to have a bona fide Open operative right here in our midst: Gabe Ganot, who’s been working as a ballboy — okay, ballperson — at the Open since 1999, giving him an ideal vantage point for uni-watching. That’s him in the photo shown above.

Gabe sent me a good rundown of observations a few weeks ago, which I’m finally getting around to sharing with the rest of you. Check it out:

Almost all players wear one outfit per tournament. But Federer this year had two — a “day” and “night” selection. The night attire featured the “Man in Black” look with a black headband, black shirt, shorts, socks and sneakers. This as opposed to the day outfit, with a blue shirt, white shorts, white sneakers, and a blue headband. People were wondering what he was going to do for the final, because it was scheduled to start in the late afternoon and it was still light out. I think he was quoted as saying since the lights would eventually be on, he would go with the Johnny Cash look. Note that his sneakers have the three Swiss flags commemorating his three U.S. Open wins the last three years (I think it also says something on the tongue). Roger also has the tendency to constantly brush imaginary hair from his forehead and adjust his headband.

Nadal, I’m pretty sure, has the worst OCD of anyone on the tour, and not just uni related. Before he serves, just about every point, he has the David Wright-esque habit of picking his wedgie. The other ballpersons and I wonder why he continues to wear the capris if he has to adjust his pants every point. He also adjusts his hair/headband with the same frequency. Other examples of his OCD include placing his drink on the same exact spot during every changeover, and sprinting out to the baseline for warm-ups.

You’d think that the folks at Lacoste would make Andy Roddick a nice-fitting shirt. Instead he has to constantly adjust it, nearly every point, to make the shoulders drape correctly (similar to the way most volleyball players do). This has been happening for several years now. He also has taken a liking to wearing his hat a little sideways, à la Pokey Reese or Mike Cameron. It’s not an accident — I’ve seen him take it off and be very particular about the way he puts it back on.

Its also interesting see how doubles teams dress. Sometimes, teams go all out and match every single part of their outfits, down to the sneakers, like the Bryan brothers. Other teams wear what they would normally wear if they were playing singles, while others come up with a completely different outfit, like Justin Gimelstob in his mixed doubles team with Ashely Harkleroad. Speaking of Gimelstob, he apparently sweats like there’s no tomorrow, so he tends to change shirts around five or six times a match. And speaking of sweating, some players are obsessed with the towel. Nadal, for instance, asks for it pretty frequently on a hot day, and Roddick can be the worst. This ballboy would like to see some sort of integrated towel technology, like certain wide receivers have.

The women have different issues than the men. For starters, many of them wear makeup and jewelry while on the court. I think Jelena Jenkovic even puts her watch on before playing.

It’s also been interesting to note the ball-holding technology for women over the last decade (insert sex joke here). When I first started being a ballboy, most women just asked for one ball to serve instead of two like the men (men have pockets, so they usually ask for two and put one in their pocket in case they fault on their first serve). Some women would ask for two and just shove one of them into the bottom of their underwear, and after a game I’d have to go pick up a slightly damp ball. Others went with the plastic ball holder (famous example: Arantxa Sanchez Vicario), which was essentially a belt that had a little plastic thingie that sat right on top of the butt. These days, the women have slightly longer undergarments, kind of like the compression shorts basketball players wear. These have pockets, so that makes my job a little easier.

When I first started, almost all women wore the simple tennis skirt and some sort of top. Then Serena hit the scene, and now we get horror stories, like look at Bethanie Mattek’s outfit from this year’s Open. She does something like this at every tournament. It also seems like the ladies have a contest to see who can wear the shortest skirt and the like.

It’s also kind of weird to see some players who aren’t sponsored and end up having different parts of their outfits from several manufacturers. I forget who, but someone this year had something like an Adidas shirt, Nike shorts, and Champion socks.

With regards to equipment, there’s nothing too crazy, but some funny stuff. For instance, instead of the traditional shock absorber that most players have on their racket, some players use an ordinary rubber band. Not sure why. No player I saw wore regular glasses, only a handful had sunglasses on (Arnaud Clement and Alexa Glatch come to mind), and a few went with the bright sunscreen on the nose. Also, while most players bring at least five or six rackets with them to the court, I noticed that Mark Knowles liked to just tape on a new grip instead of going with a new racket. Not sure the reasoning for that.

As for our Polo-brand ballperson uniforms, they’re a welcome change from the Fila garbage we had several years ago, which were in outlandish colors and make us look ridiculous (plus you try running around in 90-degree heat in a thick cotton polo that’s too large, shorts that are too tight, and sneakers that can literally blow up if you plant too hard). The new ones are a nice moisture-wicking material with a good form-fitting shape (we don’t have to tuck in anymore!). But we are essentially walking advertisements — in addition to the 6-inch Polo logo on the chest area, we have a full 12-inch logo on the back, making us look like real product whores. Additionally, with around five days to go in the tournament we were mandated to begin wearing Polo wristbands, which was odd, because they never told us to where on the arm to wear them, unlike everything else which is by the book. The only change the Polo unis have had over the years is that they change the color of the vertical striping on the shirt and and shorts (this year it was yellow; in the past it’s been red and white).

Big thanks to Gabe for all that info. Still want more? Vince (who provided several of the photos links above) notes that this tennis blog has lots of fashion coverage.

Research Reqeust Request: I’m working on a column devoted to uni-related typos. I’ve got all the classics covered (Angees, Torotno, Nayv, Nigger Ilsand, etc.), along with the assorted nameplate misspellings that have periodically been called out here on the blog. If you know of any others, old or now, that we haven’t discussed, please let me know. Thanks.

Fall Back (into bed): The annual moving of the clocks is still a month away, but Uni Watch likes to be ahead of the curve, so…. As those of you in the Eastern Time Zone are well aware, I usually get the day’s entry up by 9 a.m., which is an arbitrary deadline that I set back in the site’s early days. Well, not completely arbitrary — I was trying to (a) motivate myself and (b) get you folks used to the idea that you could depend on fresh content being ready for you at the start of each day.

After a year and a half of this, during which it’s now become routine for me to be eating my breakfast in front of the computer while frantically making last-minute changes to the Ticker, I’d like to reclaim a bit of breathing room for my mornings (and, by extension, for my late-night hours). So beginning next week, my new arbitrary self-imposed daily deadline will be 10:15 a.m. Among other things, this should make it much easier for me to catch up on the previous night’s comments, deal with Ticker contributions that come in overnight, and so on.

I know some of you eastern folks have grown accustomed to starting your day (read: goofing off at work) with Uni Watch, but I have faith in your abilities to find other productive uses for the 75-minute window that fate has just handed you. Just pretend I moved to Chicago or something, OK? OK.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Lots of good stuff currently available on eBay, including this patch, this ad, this uniform, and this jersey. … Latest schools to go with the System of Dress: Maryland and Miami (with thanks to Jose Frontanes and Mike Alper, respectively). … Another new NHL mask: Marc Andre Fleury. … Good overview of the NFL captains’ patches — including a shout-out to Uni Watch — here. … Interesting article here about the Rochester Amerks new uniforms. Key quote, from team prexy Steve Donner: “RBK is integrating vertical striping into the jersey, and they wanted to do away with all horizontal striping. It wasn’t our suggestion to remove the stripes.” … Bizarre purple/green/yellow color scheme exhibited by Waukegan High in Illinois (with thanks to AJ Brandt). … Ouch. … Tons of old high school team photos, from a wide range of sports, here (with thanks to Brendon Yarian). … Reprinted from yesterday’s comments: The LPGA has changed its logo from this to this, which strikes me as a major improvement. Details here. … Also from yesterday: The NHL and Reebok held a conference call on Tuesday to address the growing chorus of player complaints about the new uniforms (the latest of which can be found in the middle of this article). Details here. … Good article here about the Sharks’ goalie masks. … Still more All Blacks soap operatics (with thanks to Caleb Borchers). … Reprinted from last night’s comments: The people at New Era are really, uh, outdoing themselves. … Dan Schulman, who’s doing ESPN Radio’s play-by-play for the Bosox/Angels series, mistakenly stated during last night’s game that Jason Varitek is the only current MLB captain to wear a “C.” Schulman forgot about Mike Sweeney.