Get Shorty

Whenever there’s an NBA throwback game, I inevitably get a few e-mails from people complaining that they should have shortened the shorts for maximum retro effect. The Lakers must have been listening, because last night they took the court wearing short shorts, just like in the old days. Unfortunately, they didn’t have the courage of their convictions, because they switched back to full-length shorts in the second half.

So how did it look? Some people have already complained about the compression shorts that were peeking out from beneath many players’ trunks, but that didn’t bother me (especially since compression shorts are often visible on players wearing full-length shorts too). My gripe was that the jerseys were too billowy — they should’ve been tailored snugger, to match the shorts.

For the most part, though, I thought they looked great. Take a look at both teams in this shot — it’s no contest. Same goes here and here.

The key — as always, boys and girls — is the socks. The shorter shorts look dynamite as long as you’ve got some socks covering up some of that lower-body real estate, but this look is problematic.

Once the Lakers went back to the contemporary shorts in the second half (which I think they did just because everyone likes to do that idiotic MJ shorts tug), everything turned predictably sloppy-looking — the baggy look just doesn’t work, people. Memo to David Stern: Make everything two sizes smaller, go buy a Val-U-Pak pack of tube socks, and get back to me in 2008.

Membership Update: Speaking of the turning of the calendar, if you made a new year’s resolution back in January to join the Uni Watch membership program in 2007 (an unlikely scenario, since the membership program didn’t yet exist in January, but still…) — or if you’d just like to ring out the year on a high note — today’s your last chance.

Meanwhile, there’s a bunch of new designs up for your perusal in the membership card design gallery, including today’s showcase design, which is based, of course, on the back of an Ohio State helmet.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Zazzle is running a 20% sale on all apparel from now through January 7th, making this a good time to snag yourself a Uni Watch T-shirt. … Reprinted from Friday’s comments: Bizarre (and bizarrely appealing) eBay item here. … More eBay stuff: some amazing old basketball unis, vintage sliding pants, an old Wilson baseball uni ad, and an incredible baseball uniform in Uni Watch colors. … Robert Gelles is a neckwear designer. He’s also a daily Uni Watch reader, which explains why his company is selling this (here’s a more detailed view), this (detail), and this (detail). … “This picture is from the 3A Texas High School football State Championship game,” writes Tory Humphries. “The orange team is the Celina Bobcats, and the word on their socks is ‘Bobcats.’ ” … I knew the Dodgers were wearing a 50th-anniversary patch next season, but I didn’t know what each element of the patch symbolized until Austin Chung sent me this. … Jim Burt always stretched his jersey as tight as possible. But Chris Flinn notes that in this shot, it almost looks like his nameplate has been stretched (or, more likely, they spaced out the lettering to match his stretch-spaced number). … According to the last paragraph of this item, Syracuse will have new football uniforms next season (so what else is new?). … Ever seen a hockey player wearing eye black? I never had, until Cullan Foote sent me this 1967 shot of Kent Douglas. … Several readers noted that Maryland’s punter was wearing a yarmulke during the Emerald Bowl. … If you skip to the halfway point of this video clip, you’ll see BYU kicker Mitch Payne peeling the “Y” logo off his helmet to give to a young fan at the conclusion of the Las Vegas Bowl (with thanks to Chris Flinn). … Ryan Perkins reports that the NFL Network ran a commercial with this image prior to Saturday’s Giants/Pats game. Too bad the Colts no longer wear white facemasks. … Totally bizarre gold shorts stripe being worn by one of the teams in the BJ League (with thanks to Jeremy Brahm, who also passed along some frightening pics from the Master League, the league for retired Japanese baseball players — look here, here, and here, ). … No sooner did I write about basketball players wearing sleeves than Evansville broke out their old sleeved jerseys on Saturday night. Details here. … “The 1988 A’s had a pitcher named Todd Burns,” writes John English. “He wore No. 54, and for some reason his uni numbers were different from everyone else’s on the club. The 4s were thicker and the 5s looked like upside-down 2s [as opposed to this]. This has bugged me for 20 years and while I don’t expect anyone else will know why this happened, it doesn’t hurt to ask.” … Bryan Widell reports that Manchester City captain Richard Dunne had problems with peeling numerals on Sunday. … Buried on this page is the following tidbit of Pittsburgh Pirates news: “The gold ‘P’ on the Pirates’ cap suddenly is taking the place of the angry, bearded pirate on just about all of the team’s printed matter.” Let’s hope this is the beginning of the end for the pirate logo, who’s always struck me as too cartoon-ish (good catch by Timothy Collins). … The Penguins’ goalies plan to wear old-school brown gear for tomorrow’s Winter Classic game. Details here (with thanks to Steve Laga). … And according to an item on this page, Penguins execs “are so pleased with the look of the retro-themed uniforms the club will wear in the AMP Energy NHL Winter Classic on New Year’s Day that the Penguins will seek permission to make that design their alternate look [next season]” (as spotted by Mike Reilly). … Reprinted from Sunday’s comments: Several people have mentioned to me that Daryl Johnston was forced to wear a Packers helmet during the 1994 Pro Bowl, after his own helmet was stolen. But I’d never seen visual confirmation until Nolan Brett came up with this. I’m gonna see if my ESPN photo editor can get us a full-size version. … Good view here of Vince Young’s blue chinstrap cozy, which is team-branded. … And we close out the year with a communiqué from Miguel Durón, the winner of our last raffle. He chose an Earl Campbell-era Texas Longhorns helmet from Gridiron Memories as his prize. “Here’s a pic of my 18-month-old daughter rocking it,” he writes. “She looks much cuter with it on than I do.” That’s so damn adorable, I’m not even gonna say anything about the purple shirt. Everyone have a happy and healthy holiday, and remember, New Year’s Eve is for amateurs.

100 comments December 31st, 2007

Insert Rose-Based Play On Words Here

I was going to go with something written by Bret Michaels, the noted poet and wordsmith of Poison (except for the songs written by C.C. DeVille), but decided against it. You know, because it would suck and all …

So while you get the words to “Unskinny Bop” firmly entrenched in your head, take a moment to check out the flowery adornment from the 1984 Rose Bowl. That’s Rick Neuheisel for UCLA scampering from a couple of Illinois defenders. I hadn’t seen the Illini’s shoulder logo before, and I’m guessing UCLA’s looks better in color. Kinda looks like a cotton ball on a stick here. Either way, both are better than the standard bowl logo/sponsor patch present in today’s games, though a Poulan Weed Eater Bowl patch would be something to treasure.

I’m gonna go relive seventh grade now. Where’s my Walkman? — Bryan

103 comments December 30th, 2007

You’re Embarrassing Me, Dad

Fun fact: I spent three years as the head varsity baseball coach at a high school in Iowa, back in the days when I wanted to be a teacher/baseball coach. During that time, which also included one season as the freshman coach, I witnessed plenty of crazy parental behavior.

There was the lady who determined her son (hitting .196) should be the DH over the kid hitting .302. The rationale? He has more power. Ooookay. I also was screamed at by a dad whose kid — an all-state catcher — was used as the DH in the second game of a doubleheader after catching in 97-degree heat. A college coach was coming to watch the kid behind the plate in the second game. Both father and son had failed to mention that. My bad, apparently.

So I’ve seen some crazy in my time. Jack Hall, father of Boston College guard Ty Hall, might out-crazy them all. What the hell makes you (1) build that thing and (2) wear it in public? The mini-helmets, the whirligigs on each corner, the lights, the pennants … the crazy-ass look in his eyes … yikes.

In related bonus coverage, this was the photo I was originally going to use. Note the use of both shiny and dull helmets, as well as the pants from Oregon’s last uniform set.

In completely non-related bonus coverage, this photo makes me laugh. It’s a nose bidet, and it’s apparently quite fun to use. Here’s more info. Think of it as a reminder to keep your nose clean this weekend. — Bryan

80 comments December 29th, 2007

Zebra Update

Several readers have been clamoring for updated info regarding the NFL officials’ cold-weather slacks, and I think I’ve finally got some — no thanks to the NFL, I might add.

First, a quick recap: As you may recall, the officials inexplicably wore the slacks for the Cowboys/Lions game back on December 9th — an odd choice, given that the game was played indoors. Same goes for last Monday’s Chargers/Broncos game which was a decidedly non-chilly 62 degrees at kickoff. What gives?

I’ve been trying to get an answer to that question from Mike Pereira, the NFL’s Vice President of Officiating. That’s him in the purple polo, which should give you an idea of where this is going. Turns out ol’ Mike is, shall we say, a tough man to pin down. I’ve been leaving messages with his office for weeks now — the most recent one was yesterday — but he hasn’t bothered to call me back.

Fortunately, reader Austin Henley checked in yesterday with some news that sheds a bit more like on the subject:

On the December 12th edition of Total Access on the NFL Network [which I don’t have — PL], Mike Pereira was on for his weekly “Official Review” segment. … He said a couple of things that I thought were interesting:

First: He gave the referees the option to wear the long pants and shirts at their discretion once the calendar flipped to December, meaning that referee Gerry Austin made the decision for the crew to go with the slacks and short sleeves [for the game in Detroit].

Second: He said that although he had given them the go-ahead to wear what they wanted, he did not like the short sleeves with long pants. He didn’t say Austin was reprimanded, but he said that you should not expect that look to reappear. He did say he really liked the long pants and long-sleeve shirts, which shouldn’t be surprising, since he played a part in their design.

John Parry, not Austin, was the referee for Monday’s game in San Diego, but it seems that more and more refs are taking advantage of Pereira’s late-season lenience.

Interestingly, the first time I called Pereira’s office and told his secretary that I wanted to ask him about the slacks worn in the Detroit game, she said, “Oh yes, I know there was some concern about the slacks being worn with the short sleeves,” essentially repeating what Pereira himself apparently said in his TV spot. Can’t say I understand the fuss, because I think the slacks look pretty much the same — i.e., like crap — no matter which jersey they’re paired with.

And that’s why I don’t like this “up to their discretion” business one little bit. When I discussed the slacks about a year ago with NFL officiating exec Larry Upson (who was much more accessible than Pereira but, unfortunately, is no longer with the league), he said, “They have to ask before they can wear ’em, just so we don’t have guys going around willy-nilly wearing them.” Wish they’d stuck to that protocol, because it’s starting to look like the officials prefer the slacks. If so, that’s a tragedy in the making, because NFL officials are more or less the last humans on the planet who know how to cuffs their knickers just right — mid-upper shin, just a bit of blousing — and are also among the rapidly dwindling ranks of the striped hosiery set. The slacks’ increasing prevalence is akin to the advent of pajama pants in baseball — and just as odious.

And if any officials out there think the slacks are more comfortable than the knickers, or less of a hassle, I frankly don’t care. Think of the proud heritage of high-cuffed football officials. Think of all the sock mills that depend on you to show off their striped hose. Think of how the slacks make you look like a cross between a bellhop and a sales clerk at Foot Locker.

You’ve chosen a special role for yourself. Now dress the part.

Uni Watch News Ticker: 49ers lineman Larry Allen is apparently quite a jersey collector (with thanks to Al Cummings). … Yesterday I mentioned that one of the officials in Wednesday night’s Blues/Red Wings game lost his luggage and had to wear borrowed equipment. Turns out Teebz knows the official in question and provided the full story in yesterday’s comments. Check it out here. … Lots of new soccer kits on display here (with thanks to Chris Cruz). … Amazing old Iowa football jersey up for auction here. … Seton Hall wore silver-gray uniforms last night. … Several readers have pointed out that Bill Simmons’s current column includes a link to this video clip from the 1984 NBA Old-Timers Game, which features loads of FNOB action (plus lots of disturbing shots of fat old guys squeezed in snug-fitting jerseys). … Japan’s two basketball leagues have unveiled their all-star uniforms. The BJ League will look like this and this (hmmm, wonder where they got their design inspiration?), and the JBL will wear this and this (as forwarded by Jeremy Brahm). … Cricket fan Jordan Owen reports that Australian wicketkeeper Adam Gilchrist wore pink gloves and a black armband the other day, for reasons explained in the third paragraph of this story.

Holiday Schedule: Unless something really momentous happens over the weekend, we’ll just have open chatter from tomorrow through New Year’s Day, then back to regular content next Wednesday.

129 comments December 28th, 2007

Even Sleeven

When I was in fourth grade, I signed up for a local youth basketball league. I remember the uniform very clearly, because it was so disappointing: plain red shorts with no piping or other adornments (and they were really short) and a plain yellow T-shirt with a red number on the back. The T-shirt really bugged me — why couldn’t we wear tank tops, like real basketball players? Sleeves were for amateurs.

Those memories came flooding back the other day, when reader Cory Wright alerted me to the situation at Proviso East, an Illinois high school with an interesting visual signature: Their basketball jerseys have sleeves. You might think the sleeves were part of an old-school look, but the uniform graphics are actually pretty contemporary, with modern side piping and Nike-ish collarbone horns. The jerseys just happen to be T-shirts, not tank tops.

I wondered if this was a new design for this season, so I started poking around and discovered that Proviso East has been wearing sleeves for a while, as you can see in these pics from March 2007 (that shot is a capture from this video clip), December 2005, and January 2005 (here’s another shot from the same game). I also found this and this, but I’m unsure of the dates.

Sleeved hoops jerseys are rare phenomenon. Has any NBA team ever worn them? In the college ranks, the only school that comes to mind is Evansville, but they switched to tank tops a few years ago. Then again, basketball isn’t my strongest suit, so maybe there are lots of other sleeved examples out there — please feel free to bring me up to speed.

Anyway, the Proviso thing got me thinking: Have basketball jerseys always been tank tops? I figured the earliest ones must have had sleeves, if only because cultural standards of modesty were much more conservative back in those days. But if you google “early basketball team,” you get images (many of them spectacular) like this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and this — not a sleeve in sight. The earliest photo I found was this one, from 1895, featuring a mix of tanks and tees. The only fully sleeved team I found was this one — from 1950, surprisingly. (Think they intentionally alternated the sneaker colors in the front row, or did it just work out that way?)

So it looks like basketball has almost always been sleeve-free. Which makes Proviso East’s sleeve-iness all the more puzzling. This is definitely a topic I’d like to explore in more detail — contributions welcome.

Research Reminder: In case you missed it late last week, I’m currently compiling examples of interesting uni-borne memorial gestures. Not just the standard black armband or uni number inside a black circle — I’m looking for things a bit more inspired. Historical precedents are good, too. Send likely suspects here.

Uni Watch News Ticker: Looks like Shaun Cody’s trying (and failing) to keep his jersey snapped into his pants (good catch by Donald Moe). … Danny Kroll was recently given a pair of game-used Miami Dolphins cleats (additional pics here, here, and here) but can’t figure out who they belonged to. Anyone..? … Dustin Burns reports that one of the officials in last night’s Blues/Red Wings game apparently lost his gear and was forced to wear a generic, numberless jersey and skates borrowed from a player. … Here’s the very definition of a flagrant foul.

142 comments December 27th, 2007

Show and Tell

It’s not often that I plaster a photo of myself onto the site’s front page (in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever done it before), but I’m feeling all kid-with-a-new-toy about my circa-1950s wool flannel Kutztown jersey, which was one of two uni-related Xmas presents I received. As most of you know, I don’t care even a little bit about owning or collecting current-era jerseys, but I get seriously geeked out about vintage specimens like this one, plus is “Kutztown” one of the greatest place names ever or what? Here’s a bigger view, and check out the awesome zig-zag stitch on the interior. Nothing on the back, alas (and no, I wasn’t taking a leak on that tree), but whaddaya gonna do?

The photos, snapped by my pal and fellow Chosen Person Claudia Gonson (drummer for the wonderful Magnetic Fields, don’tcha know), were taken yesterday afternoon just outside Brooklyn’s lovely Prospect Park. After the photo shoot, we saw Sweeney Todd (no uniforms, but some killer costume design), then had a few post-cinema beers, and then decamped to Brooklyn’s Chinatown, where Claudia was momentarily distracted by a street vendor selling bras. Then we chowed down on a ridiculous amount of Vietnamese food (true, Chinese food would’ve been more Jew-appropriate, but as Claudia pointed out, “neither of us is really that Jewish”).

My other great uni-centric present came from reader and Cardinals fan par excellence Elena Elms, who as you may recall baked me that amazing batch of stirrup-frosted cookies last holiday season. This year she sent another parcel of baked goods, with two distinct confectionary motifs: baseball-patterned shortbread and — get this — little jersey-frosted cookies!

“They didn’t turn out as I had hoped,” Elena writes. “Too small cookies, too thick icing.” But she’s clearly being too hard on herself — who else would even dare attempt to inscribe the Tigers’ logo in icing? Anyway, she continues: “I decided to go with the back of the jersey for the last two I decorated — one for the greatest player ever, and one for the greatest position player I ever saw in person, who had the best stat ever: 3630 career hits — 1815 at home, 1815 on the road.”

I’m always torn when it comes to edible art — do I eat it, or do I keep it and admire it? Fortunately, a few of the cookies broke during transit, so I was able to eat those with no guilt. I’m happy to report that they made the perfect dessert after Vietnamese food.

Uni Watch News Ticker: The Sonics and Blazers both wore road uniforms last night in Portland, supposedly to create a Christmas effect (although it seems to me that the colors were a bit off from classic Christmas hues). Interestingly, all but two of the Blazers wore red shoes — details on that are here. … Intriguing note from Bob Jonas, who writes: “Does anyone there have any photos (color preferably) of the 1983 Reds spring training experiment with white hats and helmets as depicted here and here? These are the only two shots I’ve been able to find.” I was completely unaware of this chapter in Reds history. If anyone knows more, do tell. … A few months back I wrote this entry about Earl Battey’s improvised earflap, which he wore in 1963. The first real earflap was worn by Tony Gonzalez of the Phillies the following year, but I’d never seen a photo of it until yesterday, when Morris Levin pointed me toward this eBay auction, which shows a UPI wire photo of Gonzalez wearing his new flap-inclusive lid while holding a flapless model. I’m a little surprised to see that the flap looked exactly like today’s models — guess they got that design right the first time. … Remember last year when I wrote about press pins? Here’s a good article about them (courtesy of Joe Drennan). … The Hershey Bears wore their annual Christmas-themed uniforms on Saturday (with thanks to Mark Coale). … You’ve seen plenty of Ice Bowl photos like this one. But you probably haven’t seen any that show the Packers’ band, pregame tailgating, or postgame lockerroom shots. All these, and many more are be found in this Ice Bowl gallery, put together by Jeff Ash. … Excellent article here about the old satin uniforms, along with some related issues — recommended (with thanks to Todd Radom). … Good bit on goalie masks here. … New York City subway workers are getting new uniforms (with thanks to Matthew Harris). … As you may recall from a few months back, the single-A Casper Rockies are now the Casper Ghosts and will be wearing glow-in-the-dark caps next season (details here and here). Chris Winckler got one of those caps for Christmas. “It was hard to to capture the glow,” he says, “but I’d have to say I actually like the rebranding.” … Gametime temp in San Diego on Monday night was 62 degrees — about what you’d expect. So why were the officials wearing the cold weather slacks? … Stefan Schubert reports that McPherson College in Kansas wear front-helmet uni numbers, just like the Giants and Steelers. But McPherson takes an unusual approach for players with single-digit numbers. … Excellent article here about the regulations governing high school basketball uniforms (nice find by Danny Weintraub).

98 comments December 26th, 2007

Would You Sit on This Guy’s Lap?

I don’t care if he wears a uniform — Santa still gives me the creeps. Always has. Spends half his time groping children, the other half enslaving pointy-eared midgets, and another half sneaking down chimneys like some prowler. Yes, I know, that’s three halves, but like I was saying, this Santa dude’s into some freaky-deaky shit.

Anyway: I hope everyone’s Christmas is healthy and happy, and that you get some quality goods under the tree. Special shout-outs to Julie and Johnie, whose book on aluminum Christmas trees is the definitive word on the subject, and to the great Oscar Peterson, who died yesterday and whose music brightened many a holiday over the years for me and, I hope, you. R.I.P., brother.

65 comments December 25th, 2007

Mo day Mor i g U i Watch

Anyone got a spare n? That was the question yesterday in Buffalo, where Giants running back Ahmad Bradshaw spent most of the game with only a partial logo on the left side of his helmet. And that was only the most obvious of the Giants’ many decal problems yesterday, as several players were missing one of their front helmet decals, including Bradshaw, Chris Snee (left side of the photo), and Michael Strahan (sorry, no photo), plus Madison Hedgecock tore part of his red stripe. It was a friggin’ horror show out there.

Jints equipment director Joe Skiba says he has no idea what was behind the epidemic. “But I know for a fact Bradshaw camps out in front of the heaters and leaves his helmet there,” he points out, which may have something to do with it.

Naturally, we can’t discuss decal problems without mentioning the Bears, who contributed their weekly serving of torn Cs, courtesy of Brian Urlacher and Adrian Peterson.

(Thanks to everyone who contributed screen grabs, including Nick Boscamp, Ryan Perkins, LeRoy C. DePas, and Matt Ryburn.)

Uni Watch News Ticker: Did you know Sammy Sosa originally wore No. 11 upon joining the Cubs? I didn’t, until Joe Drennan sent me this photo. … When the Diamondbacks introduced their new uniforms a year ago, several people said “db” sleeve patch reminded them of the logo used by the magician David Blaine (although I thought it looked more like, y’know, a different kind of snake head than the one the team intended to evoke). Now reader Mark Shelton reports that he was at the team’s pro shop the other day and saw a sign announcing that all authentic jerseys with the “db” logo were now 75% off. “When I asked an employee why they were doing that, I was told they were removing the ‘db’ logo due to a complaint from David Blaine,” he writes. “I bought a road gray jersey with Randy Johnson’s name and number, normally going for $255, for $63.75.” Interestingly, the 2008 MLB Style Guide still shows the sleeve patch, but maybe they haven’t updated the specs yet. … Vince has confirmed that the Browns aren’t changing their uniforms next season. … The Lakers and Sixers both wore home throwbacks on Friday night. … Robert Eden found two really interesting college football photos, both involving Nebraska. First, look at this shot, showing a Nebraska/Minnesota game from 1932. The ’Huskers didn’t have front-jersey uni numbers yet! And does that big-ass “N” look amazing or what? Next, look at this Nebraska/Missouri game from 1978. Turns out Mizzou was wearing uni numbers on the hips several years before the Cowboys and Packers introduced this style to the NFL. … Chris Skumin notes that Julius Jones had a memorial message written on his eye black Saturday night. Anyone know who it was for? … “UNC basketball walk-on (and football RB/WR) Greg Little made his season debut for the ’Heels Saturday afternoon,” writes Benji Cauthren. “Nike hadn’t shipped his jersey to the team yet, so he had to wear a two-year-old design.” … Great article here about the Penguins’ equipment manager’s preparations for the upcoming Winter Classic outdoor game (with thanks to Paul Blackham). … And here’s a good piece about the Giants’ cold-weather preparations. … Brendan Fougere notes that Brent Celek’s TV numbers have been creeping forward, especially when compared to his teammates. … Reprinted from Sunday’s comments: The Manitoba Moose’s NOBs are all caps, but one player has a very odd cap/small-cap format. … “My Ohio Bobcats left their home shirts in Athens on the trip out for the Rainbow Classic,” writes Tim Burke, “which resulted in a dark vs. dark championship game against the St. Mary’s Gaels, who apparently did the same thing.” … Florida Gulf Coast University is making a strong bid for weirdest basketball uniforms of the season: They’ve got blue trim on one side and green on the other, and “FGCU” instead of NOBs (great find by Mike Miller). … Open discussion tomorrow, regular content resumes on Wednesday. Merry Xmas to all, and be sure that the stocking you’re hanging has stripes.

98 comments December 24th, 2007